“All right,” Vann said. “I’ll take the stiff.”
“Oh, sure,” I said. “You get the fun gig.”
Vann smiled at this. “I’m sure Bell will be tons of fun.”
“Do I need to be here while I’m doing this?” I asked.
“Why?” Vann asked. “You have a date?”
“Yes, with a Realtor,” I said. “I’m looking at apartments. Federally approved. Technically I’m supposed to have a half day today for it.”
“Don’t expect too many more of those,” Vann said. “Half days, I mean.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m kind of figuring that out on my own.”
Chapter Five
THE REALTOR WAS a small, elegant-looking woman named LaTasha Robinson, and she met me directly outside the Bureau building. One of her realty specialties was the Haden market, so the Bureau connected me with her to help me find an apartment.
Given her clientele, the chances that she might not know who I was were close to nil, a suspicion that was verified as I approached. She smiled a smile I recognized from years of being trotted out as the official Haden’s Poster Child, part of the official Haden’s Poster Family. I didn’t hold it against her.
“Agent Shane,” she said, holding out her hand. “Really lovely to meet you.”
I took the hand and shook it. “Ms. Robinson. Likewise.”
“I’m sorry, this is kind of exciting,” she said. “I don’t meet that many famous people. I mean, who aren’t politicians.”
“Not in this town, no,” I agreed.
“And I don’t think of politicians as being famous, do you? They’re just … politicians.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” I said.
“My car’s right over here,” she said, pointing to a relatively unflashy Cadillac parked where it would get ticketed. “Why don’t we get started?”
I got into the passenger side. Robinson got in the driver’s seat and pulled out her tablet. “Amble,” she said, and the car slid out from the curb, just ahead, I noted as I glanced in the rearview mirror, of a traffic cop. We headed east on Pennsylvania Avenue.
“The car’s just going to drive around for a few minutes while we get set up here,” Robinson said, tapping her tablet. For all her gushing a few seconds before, she slipped into business mode pretty quickly. “I’ve got your basic request list and personal information”—she looked over as if to acknowledge I was, in fact, a Haden and she knew it—“so let’s get a few things narrowed down before we start.”
“All right,” I said.
“How close do you want to be to work?”
“Closer is better.”
“Are we talking walking distance close, or Metro line close?”
“Metro line close is fine,” I said.
“Do you prefer a neighborhood that’s hip, or one that’s quiet?”
“It doesn’t really matter to me.”
“You say that now but if I get you an apartment over a bar in Adams Morgan and you hate it, you’re going to blame me,” Robinson said, looking over at me.
“I promise noise isn’t going to bother me,” I said. “I can turn down my hearing.”
“Do you plan on using the apartment to socialize?”
“Not really,” I said. “I do most of my socializing elsewhere. I might have a friend over from time to time.”
Robinson looked over again at this, and seemed to be considering whether to ask for clarification, and decided against it. It was a fair call. There were threep fetishists out there. They really weren’t my thing, I have to say.
“Will your body be physically present, and if so, will you need a room for a caretaker?” she asked.
“My body and its caretaking are already squared away,” I said. “I won’t be needing space for either. At least not right away.”
“In that case I have some Haden efficiency flats on my availability list,” she said. “Would you like to see those?”
“Are they worth my time?” I asked.
Robinson shrugged. “Some Hadens like them,” she said. “I think they’re a little small, but then they’re not designed for non-Hadens.”
“Are they close by?”
“I’ve got a building of them on D Avenue in Southwest, right by the Federal Center Metro,” Robinson said. “The Department of Health and Human Services hires a lot of Hadens, so it’s convenient housing for them.”
“All right,” I said. “We might as well check them out.”
“We’ll go there first,” Robinson said, and spoke the address to the Cadillac.
Five minutes later we were in front of a depressing slab of anonymous brutalist architecture.
“This is lovely,” I said, dryly.
“I think it used to be a government office building,” Robinson said. “They converted it about twenty years ago. It was one of the first buildings redesigned with Hadens in mind.” She nodded me into the lobby, which was clean and plain.
A threep receptionist sat behind a desk. The threep was set to transmit ID data over the common channel. In my field of vision its owner’s data popped up above the threep’s head: Genevieve Tourneaux. Twenty-seven years old. Native of Rockville, Maryland. Her public address for direct messages.
“Hello,” Robinson said to Genevieve, and showed her her Realtor’s ID. “We’re here to look at the vacancy on the fifth floor.”
Genevieve turned to look at me, and I realized belatedly that I didn’t have my own personal data out on the common channel. Some Hadens found that rude. I quickly popped it up.
She gave me a quick nod as if in acknowledgment, did a small double take, then recovered and turned her attention to Robinson. “Unit 503 is unlocked for the next fifteen minutes,” she said.
“Thank you,” Robinson said, and nodded over to me.
“Hold on a second,” I said. I turned back to Genevieve. “May I have guest access to the building channel, please?”
Genevieve nodded to me and I saw the channel marker pop up in my view. I connected to it.
The lobby walls exploded into signage.
Some of the notes were your basic corkboard notes: people looking for roommates or to sublet or asking after lost pets. At the moment, however, signs about the walkout and march dominated—signs reminding tenants to stay home, plans for walkout activities, requests to let Hadens coming into town for the march crash in apartments, with the sardonic notation that they won’t need much space.
“Everything okay?” Robinson asked.
“It’s fine,” I said. “I’m just taking in the posters on the wall.” I read a few more and then we walked over to the elevator bank and took the next lift up to the fifth floor.
“Extra-large elevators,” Robinson noted, as we rose. “Hydraulic lift. Makes it easier to bring bodies up to the rooms.”
“I thought these were all efficiency apartments,” I said.
“Not all of them,” Robinson said. “Some are full-sized and have dedicated medical suites and caretaker rooms. And even the efficiencies have cradle hookups. Those are supposed to be used on a temp basis, although I hear some Hadens are using them full-time now.”
“Why is that?” I asked. The elevator stopped and the doors opened.
“Abrams-Kettering,” Robinson said. She walked out of the lift and down the hall. I followed. “Assistance is getting slashed so a lot of Hadens are downsizing. Those in townhomes are moving into smaller apartments. Those in apartments are moving into efficiencies. And some of those in efficiencies are taking on roommates. They’re using the chargers in shifts.” She glanced back to me and her eyes flickered over my shiny, expensive threep, as if to say not that you have to worry about that. “It’s been bad for the market, to be honest, but that’s good for you as a potential renter. Now you have a lot more options, a lot cheaper.” She stopped at apartment 503. “That is, if this doesn’t bowl you over.” She opened the door and stood aside to let me pass through.
Haden Efficiency Apartment 503 was two meters by three meters and entirely bare, save for one small built-in countertop. I stepped inside and immediately got claustrophobia.
“This isn’t an apartment, it’s a closet,” I said, stepping forward to let Robinson in.