When I get to the fight on the train platform, I pour my heart out to her, telling her of the pain I felt at losing Cole, the rage inside me as I killed Rivet, my deep sadness and rebound as I got to know Tristan. I even told her about holding his hand before we slept. It’s like I’ve been bottling up all my most powerful emotions and finally they spill over, with my mom as the recipient.

Tawni reenters the room and I relay the story of rescuing Dad, our frantic race through the city, and how we parted ways at the reservoir. I condense our monotonous jaunt through the inter-Realm tunnel to just a few sentences, focusing mainly on when we crossed paths with the sun dweller army, and end the tale when we pass out after contracting the Bat Flu.

When I finish, my mom leans back and puts both hands behind her back, closes her eyes and breathes deeply. “You’re sure you saw sun dweller soldiers in the Moon Realm?” she asks.

“Yeah, in the inter-Realm tunnel. What do you think they’re planning to do?”

“I’m not sure, but nothing good. And you’re sure your father told you to come rescue me?”

I try to remember. “I don’t think he said ‘rescue,’ but he did say to find you,” I say, glancing at Tawni. She nods once in agreement.

“Then he really doesn’t know what’s happening.”

It’s not a question, but I feel obliged to answer. “He didn’t know anything. He said they didn’t get much news inside Camp Blood and Stone, just rumors. Mom, please, what is this all about?”

“And he didn’t tell you anything else about me, or him, or the past?”

“No, Mom, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Then I’ll start from the beginning.” Her eyes open and she looks tired, like all the years and troubles and stress are catching up with her. “Your father and I are in the Resistance.”

The words ring through my head, but it takes me a moment to register their meaning. A strange feeling washes over me, like I know what my mom just said won’t be the biggest surprise. My initial reaction is to deny it, to even scoff at it, but somehow I know it’s true. Probably because my mother has never lied to me. At least not that I know of. Evidently she’s kept some secrets, but it’s not the same thing as a bold-faced lie. “Okayyy,” I say. “You mean, like part of the Uprising in 475 PM?”

“Correct.”

“I thought the Resistance was defeated, Mrs. Ro—I mean, Anna,” Tawni says.

“Sort of. The sun dweller army was too powerful. Many of us were killed, but not all. Nailin knew it, but he instructed the press to imply that all Resistance members had been killed in battle, or captured and executed.” This is a different woman than the one who raised me. I’ve never heard her speak of death so brazenly. Nor have I heard her utter the Tri-Realm leader’s name with such disrespect. Growing up, it was always President Nailin.

“How many survived?” I ask.

“Not many, a hundred, maybe. But most were the Resistance leaders.”

I stare at her, pondering her words. I don’t ask the question. Can’t. Want so badly to ask it, but my tongue is tied.

As usual, Tawni comes through for me. “Were you one of the leaders?” she asks.

Despite Tawni having asked the question, my mom’s eyes never leave mine. They look different than before. Less compassionate. Harder. Not somber—fierce. More like my eyes. I feel like I’m looking in a mirror, the way I normally do when I look into my father’s eyes. “Yes,” she says. “Ben, too.” She lets it sink in for a minute and I say nothing.

“We were the two topmost members of the Resistance Council.”

I say nothing, heat rising in my chest.

“They hid us in plain sight after the Uprising was quashed…”

I say nothing, the fire in my throat.

“Allowed us to start a family…”

I say nothing, my lips twitching.

“To live a normal life—”

“No!” I shout. “No, no, no!” My mom’s head moves back, seemingly surprised by the ferocity of my outburst. Even Tawni looks shocked, and she’s been dealing with me for a while now.

I lower my head to the floor, take a deep breath. What is going on? Have I accidentally fallen down a hole and into another dimension, one where my soft-spoken mother has become a born fighter? All these years, has she been hiding her true self? The truth slides behind my heart, flits into it, bumps and shakes. I know the truth, but No! It can’t be true!

It is—and I know it.

With the truth, everything in my life abruptly makes sense. Why my dad wanted me to go to find my mom, and why he expected I’d be safe once I found her. Going back further, why my father always said I was more like my mom than him, particularly once I learned to fight. It all makes sense and none of it makes sense; it’s definitely one or the other, and I know which.

“Adele,” my mom says, snapping me back to a dream world which is really reality. I slowly lift my head, meet her eyes, and she pulls me into her chest.

“Are you okay?” Tawni asks, gently stroking my hair. I think about the question, all my crazy thoughts over the last few minutes, and what it means to my life going forward. Despite how insane it all sounds, something about it just feels right. It’s like a missing link, or the last puzzle piece, and now the picture is complete.

“I’m fine,” I say, sitting up straight.

Mom’s eyes are twinkling and I suspect she knows much of what I’ve been thinking. “You fought,” I say, not as a question, but as a statement.

She nods.

“And the Enforcers took you and Dad away because they figured out who you were?”

“Yes. When the Resistance was defeated, we laid low for a few years. We maintained the organization, but didn’t seek to grow it. Eventually, though, we had to start recruiting. Slowly at first, and then more and more as our plans advanced. We were careful and patient, vetting all potential new members before approaching them, using mostly referrals and internal connections. But no system is perfect, and at least one of the President’s spies slipped through. Somehow the traitor found out about us—you know the rest.”

“You were brutally abducted, I was locked and forgotten in the Pen, and Elsey was dumped in a shithole orphanage.”

Her lips part slightly and I can tell she’s shocked by my language, but she doesn’t reprimand me. “Exactly,” she says.

I feel like screaming and crying and laughing all at the same time. A smattering of emotions, all fighting for control. Instead I ask another question: “What happened after the Enforcers took you?”

“I was brought here—to the Star Realm. Locked up in the Max; the key thrown away. Dead to the world, at least in Nailin’s mind.”

“Why’d they take Dad to a different prison?” I ask.

“They knew who we were, how dangerous we were together. So they weren’t taking any chances. Perhaps they thought two of us in one place would increase the chances of a rescue attempt.”

“But why not just execute you?” I ask, swallowing hard.

My mom cocks her head to the side. “Good question, one I’ve pondered myself. The best I can come up with is that under the law all traitor executions must be well-documented and publicized. Maybe Nailin didn’t want anyone to know, because he had been so adamant that the Resistance was snuffed out years earlier.” Anticipating my next question, she rushes on. “They could have arranged a secret execution—with Nailin’s power he can do almost anything—but it’s almost like he wanted to add us to his collection, like trophies.”

I realize I don’t care why he didn’t execute them—just that he didn’t. “I’m just glad you’re alive. Then what happened?”

“When the star dwellers rebelled a few weeks ago, they opened up the prison gates and I was free. I reconnected with some members of the Resistance, joined the star dweller rebellion, and they made me a general because of my past experience.”

I’ve never heard my mother talk like this. So methodical, so soldier-like, as if she’s conveying tactical attack plans to her subordinates. I cringe when a thought pops into my head.