I go to find Tawni, or Cole, or both.

I guess that they will be hungry, like me. I find them before I make it to the cafeteria. As I push through the crowds of kids, all zigzagging in different directions, I spot Tawni’s white hair next to Cole’s dark skin. The contrast is stark.

They are slightly apart from the mob of bodies, against the wall, leaning in close to each other. Their heads are together and their lips are moving, like they’re whispering. It seems like such a funny place to have a secret conversation, but no one seems to notice. I remember something my dad used to say, about how sometimes it’s best to hide in plain sight. It’s like that now. If they were further away from the crowds, crouching behind some rock in the yard, or tucked away behind a door or something, they probably would’ve drawn everyone’s attention. Instead, they’re invisible.

I move closer, staying behind a really big guy who’s lumbering along in front of me. Next to Tawni is a janitor’s closet. The door is slightly ajar and I manage to slip from behind the big guy and into the closet. Out of the crowded hallway I can hear much better and, because they are next to the wall, their voices are amplified and projected into my hiding place. I push my hair away from my ear and listen intently, trying to pick up every word they are saying.

Tawni says, “Look, Cole, I know what I saw. He looked at her—no, it was more than that: he stared at her, right at her. They connected, in some weird way.”

Cole’s deep voice grumbles through the door. “What are you saying? That it was love at first sight? C’mon, Tawni, really?”

“I don’t know,” Tawni says. “I just know there was something. Not love necessarily. Just interest.”

“What difference would it make? He’s a creep anyway. Just like his father. He comes down here and parades himself around, flaunts his power, allows his ugly mug to be put on every sun dweller magazine.” My nostrils flare suddenly and I feel my face go red, heating up. It is anger. Directed at Cole for the things he’s saying about Tristan, particularly about him being ugly. They haven’t said any names but it is obvious who they are talking about. Me and Tristan.

“He’s not a creep. I know what I heard my parents say,” Tawni says.

“Yeah, right.”

“How long have we known each other, Cole?” Tawni asks.

There is a pause, like Cole is trying to remember, or count the days or something. Then he says, “Five years.” Five years? I am shocked. I expected him to say three months, or maybe six at the most. They’ve known each other since before the Pen. They must’ve met in school. That changes everything. The deepness of their relationship; what level of friendship I can have with them; what I can share with either of them.

“Yeah, five years, Cole. And how many times have I lied to you?”

“Never. At least not that I know of.” Cole sniggers to himself.

“Never—that’s right.”

“You might have just misheard, or misunderstood something.”

Tawni’s voice is rising. She is getting emotional. “No. No, I didn’t. I heard both my mother and my father say it before I ran away. I wouldn’t have left if I wasn’t certain. They are spies for the President, Cole. They know things. All I really needed to hear was that they were working for the sun dwellers, and then I was ready to leave, run away forever. But they kept talking. They said how Tristan is different from the President, different from his own brother. How they didn’t think he would carry on the traditions of his father if he became President. They were worried about that. I always wondered why we had so much more money than everyone else. I mean, I went to the same school as you. You couldn’t afford to eat, and I was eating with a silver spoon. Kickbacks for their dirty work. They were afraid the money would stop if Tristan took over. That’s how I know, Cole. That’s how I know!”

She almost shrieks the last bit and I hear Cole shush her, trying to get her to calm down. “Okay, okay,” he says. “I believe you. Okay, maybe Tristan’s all right, but I still don’t get what that has to do with us, with Adele. Just because he looked at her funny…”

“Not funny, Cole. Intently, seriously, the way you look at someone that you might try to track down at some point in the future. Particularly if you have the resources, which he obviously does.”

“What?” I hear myself say out loud. I mean for it to be a thought, confined to the safety of my own mind, but my wayward lips betray me.

Silence. I slap a hand over my mouth, hold my breath, listen to my heartbeat crunch in my chest like a miner’s axe on a slab of ore.

The door is flung open and Cole’s face is silhouetted against the lights in the corridor. Some of the light sneaks past his large frame and spills across my face. One of his eyes is swollen shut, his cheek beneath marbled with black, blue, and greenish yellow.

“Are you spying on us?” he says accusingly.

“No. I mean, yes. I mean, I just saw you talking and wanted to hear what you were saying.” Insert foot in mouth. Translation: Yes, I am spying. Bye-bye, new friends. Hello, loneliness.

Cole looks like he wants to hit me.

“Why didn’t you just ask us then?” The question comes from Tawni, who wedges her way between us.

“Ask you?” Again, the words pop from my mouth before I have a chance to stop them. They sound stupid. Like, Duh, asking would’ve been far easier than sneaking into a broom closet and listening through a door. I try to recover. “I, uh, I just thought you wouldn’t, uh, tell me these kinds of things,” I finish lamely.

“What kinds of things exactly?” Cole says.

Tawni pushes Cole back a bit with one arm. I’m surprised she can move him at all. Her arm looks like a toothpick compared to his armor-like chest. I guess she has hidden strength.

To my surprise, she says, “Cole, we need some girl time. We’ll catch up with you later.” Despite the evenness of her tone, her words sound like a command, and a powerful one at that.

Cole stares at me with one eye for a second, and then melts into the stream of bodies, disappearing in the mob.

When Tawni turns back to me, I say, “Thanks.”

Tawni offers me a hand and I take it. Unlike the previous day in the yard, her hand is warm. Without another word, she pulls me out of the closet and leads me against the flow of human traffic. Where I’d normally bump and knock into a dozen kids if I tried such a maneuver, Tawni is graceful, able to find the path of least resistance. I stay in her wake, protected. I haven’t felt protected in a long time.

Soon the crowds thin and we are walking alone. I am surprised to find myself still holding her hand. I feel like I should shake it free, but it feels so good—wonderful actually. I guess I need it. Human contact, that is. Having been deprived of human touch for so long, my body is craving it. Last night’s dream had certainly indicated that.

We reach a cell door. Not mine but the one next to it. Tawni’s. Funny that I never knew her and the whole time she was sleeping right next to me, just a rock wall between us. Not that it matters. I’ve lost Cole’s brief friendship and I am about to lose Tawni’s slightly longer friendship. It’s time for my last-ditch effort to save it.

“Look, Tawni, I’m really sor—”

“It’s okay,” Tawni interrupts.

Huh? This time I manage to keep my stupid remark inside my head, but I’m sure my confusion is written all over my face anyway. I can feel one cheek lifted weirdly, the opposite eyebrow raised, and my mouth contorted beneath my flaring nostrils. If Tawni and I are the lead characters in a magical fairy tale, it is obvious who is the ugly stepsister. Not Tawni.

I realize Tawni’s back is to me; she is facing the bed. Thank God, I think. Using my fingers, I manage to mold my face back into what I think is close to its normal shape. Just in time, too. She turns around.