I nod, but that’s easier said than done. First the trapeze, then Branden . . . it’s like nothing I actually wanted to happen during spring break went right. I should have just stayed home. At least then I wouldn’t be going through so much heartache.

“Come on,” she says, nudging me. “You still got me. I’ll make sure you have a great camp. First stop: juggling practice till your fingers bleed!”

I try to smile and let her lead me inside the tent. I wish I could share her enthusiasm, wish I could just let it go as easily as she does. But all through practice, I can’t focus on anything but my own thoughts. I can only go over last night and wonder where I went wrong.

Then, near the end of practice, it hits me: I didn’t do anything wrong.

It’s just that there was never any competition. Megan was always going to win Branden in the end—she was talented and smart and gorgeous. She’d already known him for years. She went for what she wanted.

Believing Branden might go for me had just been a lie I was telling myself. And that lie had finally died under the spotlight of truth.

•  •  •

It’s hard to concentrate on anything besides my overwhelming desire to be anywhere but camp. Not even Riley and Tyler’s antics can cheer me up. I spy Branden sitting next to Megan at lunch, and that just makes it worse. He looks over at me, once, and gives me a sad smile. I don’t return it, just look back to Tyler and try to follow along with whatever joke he’s telling. I don’t even have it in me to pretend to laugh at the punch line. I just sit there and stare at the table and wonder if it would be a bad idea to call home and have my parents pick me up.

“You’re really letting this get you down, aren’t you?” Kevin asks.

I hadn’t even noticed him sitting beside me, I was so out of it. He gives me a comforting smile.

“Yeah,” I admit. Both Riley and Tyler are totally caught up in their joke. It’s like they’re in their own little world.

“Well,” he says, “I wouldn’t worry too much. You’re a talented girl, and gorgeous. What you did onstage last night showed the mark of a true star. If Branden is too blinded by some silly girl, it’s his loss, not yours. Any guy here would be lucky to call you his girlfriend.”

His words warm a side of my heart that had previously been numb. Had I ever been complimented by a guy like this? Told that I was talented and pretty? I mean, sure, he’s gay, but that doesn’t take away the sincerity behind it.

“You mean it?” I ask. I feel a little pathetic voicing it, but I’m not above feeling a little pathetic right now.

“Of course I do,” he says. “I thought that the moment I met you. You’re going to be big, Jenn. You just have to start having some faith in yourself. I do. Heck, we all do.”

And then, in spite of everything, I smile.

“Thanks, Kevin,” I say.

“Of course,” he says. Then he leans over and wraps me in a hug.

“What did I miss?” Riley asks, poking her head next to mine.

I giggle.

“Get in here,” Kevin says, and pulls her into the hug as well.

“Lovefest! I want to join!” Tyler runs around the table and wraps his arms around us, squeezing tight.

I fall into a burst of giggles.

•  •  •

Even though I still feel a little crappy after lunch, and even though I do go call my parents, I don’t ask them to pick me up. Instead I tell them that I’m having a great time and that I can’t wait for them to see the show on Saturday. Which, once I say it, I realize is only two days away. Two days! I have to put an act together in two days! When I hang up the phone, Branden is almost entirely pushed from my mind. It’s hard to worry about boys when you have a routine to practice. Even when said boy is as perfect and frustrating as Branden.

When I leave my room for the practice tent, my bad luck turns even worse. I run straight into Megan.

“You know,” she says when I’ve taken a few steps past her, “Branden’s a really good kisser. It’s a shame he wasn’t interested in you. Well, shame for you. It’s definitely not his loss.”

I turn around, rage boiling out of nowhere. The last thing I need, however, is to get kicked out right now, so I try to keep the anger in check. With my luck, Leena’s probably in her room, overhearing every word.

“Why are you like this?” I ask. “Are you really that sad of a human being?”

Clearly, that’s not what Megan was expecting. She raises one perfect blond eyebrow and gives me a look like she’s re-evaluating me.

“Is that really the best you got?” she asks finally.

“You think you’re so cool,” I say, “but I’ve watched you in the cafeteria. The only people who’ll talk to you are your sisters. So if winning Branden or whatever you think you’re doing makes you happy, do it. I just hope you’re actually happy.”

Then, before she can make a good comeback, I turn and storm off down the hall.

“Yeah, well, you’re ugly!” she calls. I just shake my head and don’t look back. She’s not worth the trouble.

•  •  •

In spite of the anger that’s still shaking through my veins, when I find Riley again I actually feel kind of good about myself. I’ve never really stood up for anyone before, let alone myself, and it feels nice. Empowering. Especially since I didn’t sink to Megan’s level; I never knew revenge on the high road could feel so good.

“You look . . . actually, I don’t know how you look right now,” Riley says. “You’re a strange mix between smiling and vengeful. Like some evil cat overlord.”

I grin and pick up the juggling balls on the side table.

“I just had an interaction with Megan,” I say, tossing Riley a few balls. The other kids in the juggling tent have already starting practicing; the air is filled with music and the thud of juggling props.

“That explains the vengeful,” Riley says, tossing the balls back. This back-and-forth passing has become our warm-up; it’s hard to believe that last week, I couldn’t even juggle two balls by myself. “But where’s the happy coming from? Did you punch her?” Her eyes light up at that, which just makes me smile harder. The idea of little Riley getting into any sort of fight is kind of hilarious. Though I’m sure she’d pack a punch if she tried.

“No,” I chuckle, “I didn’t punch her. I just told her off and wished her well and left her in the hall.”

“That’s . . . really strange. You do realize you’re really strange, right?” She tosses the balls a little faster, and I hustle to keep up with the new speed. It’s not the same tempo as the music, which really throws me off. “You’re supposed to be all mean and witty, not give peace talks.”

I shrug, which is amazingly hard to do while juggling. It nearly makes me miss a pass.

“It just didn’t seem worth it,” I say. “I’m not about to fight her, especially when I only have to see her another two days. After the show, she’s history.”

“What about Branden?” Riley asks.

I drop the pass. The ball rolls away, but I don’t go to catch it—we’re juggling seven now, and if I run for the missed ball, I’ll screw up the rest.

“What about him?” I ask.

“Well, you still like him, don’t you?”

I open my mouth to say, No, of course not, why would I like someone who played me like that? but then I realize . . . I do still like him. For some strange reason, I haven’t given up on him, not entirely.

“Ugh,” I say instead. I can’t tell if I’m disgusted at him or at myself.

“That’s what I thought,” she says. “You’re not very good at hiding your emotions.”

“I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Not right now.” I glance around. Although the other kids are all intent on their practice, the music isn’t loud enough to drown out the conversation. I know it’s no better than school—they’re probably listening in, waiting to have something to gossip about later. “Anyway, what’s the plan for the routine? We’ve only got two days.”