–-

Somehow I made it back to camp,either Kiran or Talbott carried me, I wasn’t sure who. Between sobbing andblacking out I didn’t remember much. My body was so weak that I was barely ableto lift my hands, let alone walk or sit up. My voice was hoarse and my throaton fire. When I was conscious I either cried or puked. Unconsciousness was asweet black hole of nothingness my body and mind longed for.

Mr. Lawly already had the campsitecleaned up before we arrived back at camp. All of the tents and equipment hadbeen packed up and the students organized to leave. I heard people talkingaround me, but I couldn’t understand their words. I was unable to comprehendanything; the only sounds I truly understood were that of my own uncontrollablesobbing.

Someone carried me the entire wayback to the bus which was running and waiting for our arrival. A hike that tookover an hour just that morning seemed to take only minutes on the way back. Wewere loaded onto the bus and I was deposited in the very back, left alone tosob as silently as I could.

If only the extreme force of the energyI held were enough to cope with tonight it would have been enough. But itwasn’t just that, my friends were attacked tonight, attacked by people who hadintended to kill us. I had to watch my friends fight for their very survival.

I was physically weak andinundated. But the realization of what I had done to other people, enemy or notwas the truly crushing reality. I took four lives tonight.  No one asked me to, and no one else could beheld responsible. With the suggestion of no other person I chose to destroythose people. Despite the fact that I saved my friends lives in return fortheirs, the truth remains: I was a murderer.

They weren’t even ordinary men,they were men like me. Whatever I was, they were. They possessed the sameenergy, the same electricity; we were the same, and I killed them. Their livesare over and for all I knew they were still lying there, piled on top of eachother, in the middle of the wilderness.

I continued to sob until I was atlast too exhausted to even cry and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. I couldfinally feel nothing and think no more. The sweet rest seemed to last foreverand consumed my whole consciousness. I was aware of the bus arriving back atschool, and I was aware of being taken to my aunt’s car, but through it all Irefused to open my eyes and acknowledge reality.

Somehow, someone eventually placedme in my bed. It was there, under my thick comforters and surrounded by soft,feather pillows, that I let the sweet nothingness consume me entirely. I wouldhave been perfectly happy to never wake up again. But of course, that wasasking for far too much.

–-

After what seemed like days ofsleeping I finally could not keep my eyes closed any longer. Although if it hadbeen up to me; I would never have opened them again. But fighting against myselfishness was the conscious knowledge that I had a moral responsibility topay the consequences of my actions. I sighed deeply and contemplated whether Iwanted to get out of bed or just call down for Aunt Syl.

The warm sunlight from my bedroomwindows enveloped me as I lay on my overly soft, overly large bed. I waswrapped in warm blankets and surrounded by my favorite pillows. I rubbed myeyes as they adjusted to the light they hadn’t seen for what seemed like a verylong time. I could feel how puffy and swollen they were, a consequence of thelarge amounts of sobbing I had accomplished lately.

I started to sit up, but still feltdrained of all energy. I laid my head back down and wished I could stay thereforever. I tried to swallow, but my throat was dry and scratchy. I didn’tattempt to move, unquenchable thirst seemed the least of my problems.

“Aunt Syl,” I called out, but myvoice was nothing more than a harsh whisper.

“Sshhh…” she responded, entering myroom with a glass of water in hand. Either she was a mind-reader or just a verygood person. I sat up a tiny bit, taking the water from her. “I figured youwould get up soon, and I thought you would need this,” I took a small sip andmy eyes filled with tears; for being both grateful for the water and for havingto face her.

I realized that she had beensitting just outside my door, waiting for me to get up. I wondered how long Ihad been asleep and how long she had been sitting there. I couldn’t hold backmy tears as I thought about the pain I must be causing her. How could I explainany of this to her?

I gratefully gulped the glass ofwater down, spilling it all over my face and on my surrounding covers. I triedto speak again, but this time no sound came out. Tears continued to spill frommy eyes and I hung my head in shame. Aunt Syl soon started crying as well.

She took the water from my handsand set it down on my night stand. Still crying she pulled me into her arms andhugged me, rubbing my back with her hand. She had never felt like much of amother type before, but at that moment it was exactly what I needed. I feltlike a small child, unable to comprehend anything that was going on outside ofmy own feelings.

“It’s alright Eden, everything isgoing to be alright,” she cooed soothingly, pulling my shoulders away from herand staring directly into my face. She brushed the tears away from my eyes andthen her own eyes as well. She handed me a tissue from her pocket and Igratefully wiped my face with it. “There is someone here who needs to speakwith you,” She tried to smile reassuringly, but I saw the trepidation in hereyes.

Without being asked, a man enteredmy room and cleared his throat. I looked up to see Principal Saint standing inmy doorway, looking very grim. All of the horrors of the previous night rushedback to me and I was filled with dread. A sense of foreboding gripped mynervous system, and the tingling electricity filled my veins once again.

Chapter Seventeen

“Hello, Eden,” Principal Saint saidin his usual distinguished voice, then cleared his throat. “I am glad that youare feeling better.”

He assumed I was feeling betterwithout even asking. I was not feeling better, I was feeling worse. The cloakedfigures passed through my mind again and I bit my lip to hold back the tears. Awave of nausea crept over me and I glanced around in search of a trash can.

“First things first, those men arenot dead,” Principal Saint continued. He paused as if waiting for his words tosink in. “They may have appeared that way to you, but Talbott was able torevive them. They were simply unconscious. You children were very lucky to havesurvived such a brutal attack.” He cleared his throat again. Principal Saintwas a very tall man, and since he had not moved from my door way he appearedoverly large and intimidating in his double breasted, brown, tweed suit.

“They were dead, I know they weredead,” I protested. “I killed them,” I looked down and covered my face with myhands. I couldn’t hold back the choking sobs.

“Eden it’s alright, what Dr. Saintsays is true,” My aunt put her hand against my cheek and spoke in a soothingmanner. I looked up at her unbelieving. “There are a lot of things that havehappened to you that need to be explained,” she continued, “Amory would like totalk with you, and maybe shed some light on all that has been happeningrecently,” she gave me an encouraging smile and stood to leave. I grabbed herhand unwilling to be left alone with him.

“I saw those men lying on theground. They were dead. I know they were dead,” I struggled to speak through mytears, my voice was deep and course, but I refused to believe them. I committeda horrible act, and I knew that I must pay for my actions. They were not goingto sugar coat it for me. Surely the police would be here any minute anyways.