Alexander paused a moment. “Not quite.” He inhaled her breath. “I’m just—Tania, we’ve been so desperately longing for this…” he whispered into her mouth, “and the moment will never come again.” He gazed into her face. “I don’t want to let it go.”

“All right,” she whispered back. She was throbbing. She tilted her hips up to him.

Another moment.

“Ready?” He pulled slowly and slightly out and pushed himself back in. Tatiana gritted her teeth, but through the gritted teeth a moan escaped.

“Wait, wait,” she said.

Slowly he pulled halfway out and pushed himself back in.

“Wait…”

Alexander pulled all the way out and pushed himself all the way in, and Tatiana, astounded, nearly screamed, but she was too afraid he would stop if he thought she was in pain. She heard him groan, and less slowly he pulled all the way out and pushed himself all the way in. Moaning, she gripped his arms.

“Oh, Shura.” She was unable to breathe.

“I know. Just hold on to me.”

Less slowly. Less gently.

Tatiana was feverish from the pain, from the flame.

“Am I hurting you?”

Tatiana paused, dizzy and lost. “No.”

“I’m going as slow as I can.”

“Oh, Shura.” Breath, breath, where is my breath…

Short panting pause. “Tania… God, I’m done for, aren’t I?” Alexander whispered hotly. “Done for, forever.”

Less, less gently.

Speechlessly Tatiana clung to him, her mouth open in a mute scream.

“You want me to stop?”

“No.”

Alexander stopped. “Wait,” he said, shaking his head against her cheek. “Hang on tight,” he whispered. He was still for another moment.

Through his parted lips he breathed, “Oh, Tania…” and suddenly he thrust in and out of her so hard and so fast that Tatiana thought she was going to pass out, crying in tumult and pain and gripping his head buried in her neck.

A breathless moment.

And another.

And another.

The heart was wild, and the throat was parched, and the lips were wet, and breath was slowly coming back, and sound, and sensation, and smell.

And her eyes were open.

Blink.

Alexander pulsed to a gradual stop, took a deep relieved breath, and lay on top of her for a few panting minutes.

Her hands continued to grip him.

A bittersweet tingle remained where he had just been. Tatiana felt regret; she wanted him inside her again; it had felt so excessive and absolute.

Lifting himself off her, Alexander blew on her wet forehead and chest. “Are you all right? I hurt you?” he whispered, tenderly kissing her freckles. “Tania, honey, tell me you’re all right.”

She couldn’t answer him. His lips on her face were too warm.

“I’m fine,” Tatiana finally replied, smiling shyly, holding him to her. “Are you all right?”

Alexander lay down by her side. “I’m fantastic,” he said, his fingers running down the length of her body from her face to her shins and slowly back up again. “I have never been better.” His shining smile was so full of happiness that Tatiana wanted to cry. She pressed her face against his face. They didn’t speak.

His hand stopped moving and rested on Tatiana’s hip. “You were surprisingly more quiet than I had anticipated,” he said.

“Mmm, I was trying not to faint,” Tatiana said, making him laugh.

“I thought you might be.”

She turned on her side to him. “Shura, was it… ?”

Alexander kissed her eyes. “Tania,” he whispered, “to be inside you, to come inside you… it was magic. You know it was.”

“What did you think it was going to be like?” she asked, nudging him.

“This was better than anything my pathetic imagination could conjure up.”

“Have you been imagining this?”

“You could say that.” He held her to him. “Forget me. Tell me—what did you expect?” He grinned, kissed her, and laughed with delight. “No, I’m going to burst,” he said. “Tell me everything.” Huskily he added, “Have you been imagining this?”

“No,” she said, nudging him again. Certainly not this. Her fingers floated down from Alexander’s throat to his stomach. All she wanted was permission to touch him again. “Why are you looking at me like that? What do you want to know?”

“What were you expecting?”

Tatiana thought about it. “I really don’t know.”

“Come on, you must have been expecting something.”

“Mmm. Not this.”

“What then?”

Tatiana was quite embarrassed and wished Alexander wouldn’t look at her with such mouthwatering adoration. “I had a brother, Shura,” she said. “I knew what you all looked like. Sort of quiet… and down… and very… hmm…” Tatiana searched for a proper word. “Unalarming.”

Alexander burst out laughing.

“But I’ve never seen one…”

“That was alarming?”

“Hmm.” Why was he laughing like that?

“What else?”

Tatiana paused. “I guess I thought this unalarming thing would… I don’t know… quietly sort of…” She coughed once. “Let’s just say the movement was also quite a surprise to me.”

Alexander grabbed her, kissing her happily. “You’re the funniest girl. What am I going to do with you?”

Tatiana lay quietly facing him, the aching inside her thoroughly unsubsided. She was fascinated with his body. Her fingers lightly stroked his stomach. “So what now?” She paused. “Are we… done?”

“Do you want to be done?”

“No,” she said at once.

“Tatiana,” Alexander said, his voice filled with emotion, “I love you.”

She closed her eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“Don’t give me that,” he said, lifting her face to him. “I have never heard you say it to me.”

That couldn’t be true, thought Tatiana. I’ve felt it every minute of every day since we met. Spilling over—”I love you, Alexander.”

“Thank you,” he whispered, gazing at her. “Tell me again.”

“I love you.” She hugged him. “I love you breathlessly, my amazing man.” With affection she smiled into his face. “But you know, I have never heard you say it to me either.”

“Yes, you did, Tatiana,” said Alexander. “You heard me say it to you.”

A moment passed.

She didn’t speak, or breathe, or blink.

“You know how I know?” he whispered.

“How?” she mouthed inaudibly.

“Because you got up off that sled…”

Another mute moment passed.

The second time they made love, it hurt less.

The third time Tatiana experienced a floating, incandescent moment of such pain-infused exquisite pleasure that it caught even her by surprise. She cried out.

Crying out, she moaned, “God, don’t stop. Please…”

“No?” Alexander said, and stopped.

“What are you doing?” she said, opening her eyes, parting her lips, looking up at him. “I said don’t stop.”

“I want to hear you moan again,” he murmured. “I want to hear you moan for me not to stop.”

“Please…” she whispered, milling her hips against him, her hands around his neck.

“No, Shura, no? Or yes, Shura, yes?”

“Yes, Shura, yes.” Tatiana closed her eyes, “I beg you… don’t stop.”

Alexander moved in and out of her deeper and slower. She cried out.

“Like this?”

She couldn’t speak.

“Or…”

Faster and faster. She cried out.

“Like this?”

She couldn’t speak.

“Tania… is it so good?”

“It’s so good.”

“How do you want it?”

“Any which way.” Her tense hands clenched around him.

“Moan for me, Tania,” Alexander whispered, changing his rhythm and his speed. “Go ahead… moan for me.”

Alexander didn’t have to ask twice.

“Don’t stop, Shura…” she said helplessly.

“I won’t stop, Tania.”

He didn’t stop, and there it was—finally Tatiana felt her entire body stiffen and explode in a convulsive burn, then a lava melt. It was some time before she was able to stop moaning and quivering against Alexander. “What was that?” she uttered at last, still panting.

“That was my Tania discovering what is so fantastic about making love. That was… relief,” he whispered, pressing his cheek to her cheek.