Connor to Mara, and I'd barely told my dad anything about him, just said I was going out on a

date with a guy on the basketball team whose name was Connor. "Won't you come join us for a

drink?" she asked. She tucked his hand under her arm and led him through the arch that separates

the entrance foyer from the living room.

"Actually, we should probably get going," I said to their retreating backs.

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"Don't worry, we'll make it a quick drink," she said, laughing. She still had her hand on his,

practically stapling it to her arm. My dad followed them, and after a second, I did, too.

"What would you like, dear?" she asked, leading Connor over to the sofa. She was being so

solicitous I thought she might actually help him sit down, but at the last second she let him take

care of that on his own. "Shall I mix you a martini?" She laughed again, like she'd just heard the most amusing joke in the world.

Connor told her he'd have a Coke.

"Doug, honey, will you be a darling and get Connor a Coke?" While Mara might be willing to

take people's drink orders, she sure isn't going to hustle into the kitchen to fill them.

"Sure thing," said my dad, smiling.

I headed for one of the wing chairs, but as I attempted to sit, I suddenly realized my dress was

really short. Like, extremely short. Like, you'd-better-not-sit-down-unless-you're-prepared-to-

share-your-thong-with-the-entire-room short. I ended up sort of sliding onto the edge of the chair

and crossing my legs tightly, balancing my weight on my left foot.

Mara turned in my direction. "Lucy, what would you like?"

"I'm fine," I said. She seated herself next to Connor on the sofa, and a second later both

Princesses came in and sat down, something I'd never seen them do in all

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the months I'd lived with them. Had the World Wide Web crashed, leaving them without access

to instant messaging for the evening?

"So, you play basketball?" Mara asked, which answered my question of whether or not my dad

had told her Connor was on the team. "You know, Lucy's a huge basketball fan." She smiled

across the room at me. "Aren't you, Lucy?"

Was I really supposed to answer her question? Since she continued to smile at me and didn't say

anything else, I figured I was. "Sure am," I said, giving her a tight smile. She turned back to

Connor.

"It's unusual to see a girl so obsessed with sports," she said.

Unusual? Obsessed? I felt my hands clenching into fists.

"Yeah, it's really cool," said Connor. I couldn't tell if he'd deliberately misunderstood her insult or was sticking up for me on purpose, but either way, Mara suddenly decided to take a different

approach.

"Living with her and her father, I'm actually starting to care about the sport myself," she said. "I must be getting infected with March Madness."

The only March Madness I'd seen Mara infected with was her insane desire to lose five pounds

off her already skeletal frame before bathing-suit season.

"Yeah," said Princess Two, "Lucy makes it seem like basketball is really interesting. I want her to teach me all

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about it." She actually had the audacity to look at me as she said this, neglecting to mention that

in December she'd suggested I might be A) so tall and B) so interested in basketball because of

an undiagnosed hormonal imbalance.

"Drinks are served," said my dad, coming in with a tray. Princess One leaped to her feet;

skipping around the coffee table to grab the Coke for Connor, she just missed impaling herself

on a glass figurine.

"Thanks," he said, smiling at her.

"Okay," she said, not quite looking at him. Then she went back to the tray, which didn't have any glasses on it now that my dad and Mara had both taken their drinks.

"Lucy, don't you want a drink?" she asked. "I'll get you one."

Connor was smiling at Princess One with that look people get when they're simultaneously

amused and touched by a child's excellent manners. I, on the other hand, was smiling at her with

that look people get when they're pretty sure someone they know well has been replicated by

aliens.

"I'm fine," I said, my teeth clenched. Then in spite of myself I added, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said. "If you change your mind, just let me know."

This was all getting to be a little too much for me, and I stood up. "We should go," I said.

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"But Connor hasn't even had a chance to drink his Coke," said Mara, touching him on the sleeve.

My flesh crawled.

"That's okay, Mrs. Norton," said Connor, taking a big swig and smiling at her. "Lucy's right." He stood up, and the Princesses jumped to their feet. After a second, my dad and Mara both stood

up, too.

"It was nice meeting you," Connor said to my father.

"You too," said my dad. He looked from me to Mara like he wished we weren't dressed quite so

identically. Then he shook Connor's hand again. "Enjoy your dinner," he said to him.

"Yes," said Mara, taking his hand and half holding, half shaking it. "Enjoy your dinner." Then she looked over at me and back at Connor. "And take care of our girl."

Now I was glad I hadn't had anything to drink; my empty stomach was the only thing that kept

me from puking all over her.

"I will, Mrs. Norton," he said. "And thanks for the Coke." He looked over to the Princesses. "It was great to meet you girls."

"You too," said Princess One. Princess Two just sighed.

Everyone walked us to the door and waited while I reached intothe closet and grabbed Connor's

jacket. "Well, bye," I said.

Even with an antique breakfront the size of the

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Titanic against one wall, the entryway is pretty big, but with everyone huddled around us I

practically had to step outside to have enough room to put the jacket on.

"Bye, Lucy," said the Princesses.

"Good-bye, kids," said my dad. "Have fun."

Mara just waved and smiled at us, like a contestant in a beauty contest. When we were in the car

with the doors closed, Connor turned to me before putting the key in the ignition.

"Wow," he said, "you have an awesome family."

I was about to tell him my "family" is about as awesome as the Mansons, but as I opened my

mouth to explain what a farce he'd just witnessed, he leaned toward me. "Good to see you, Red,"

he said.

And right then, facing the mighty power of Connor's delicious kisses, the lecture I'd been about

to deliver on the duplicitous nature of pure evil was lost forever.

As Connor and I drove to the restaurant, I started to feel nervous. Technically, this was our first

date. True, we'd gone out before. But we hadn't been alone. What if we didn't have anything to

talk about over dinner? What if we just sat there, staring at each other across the table in total

silence? But then Connor started talking, explaining that he was driving his dad's car because a

warning light had suddenly lit up on the dashboard of his SUV. When he finished the story, he

popped in a CD, cranked the volume, and dropped a hand onto my knee. A minute

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later, he took my hand and ran his thumb across the back of it.