Lucy sat alone with Oliver for a long time while Alexander and I lingered together in agony in the front room. It was about an hour before he stood, “I’ve got to talk to him,” His voice was desperate, “He has to listen to me now. Someone has to get through to him.” I watched Alexander walk to the bedroom and I heard him ask Lucy to give him time with his brother.
Lucy and I stood in the hallway and held each other close as he began to speak.
“Oliver, I’m glad you’re awake. Listen, I need to tell you some things. Mind, I’ve always told you what I’m thinking, so I’m not stopping now just because you’re sick. Listen to me now. It’s important. You were the oldest by thirteen minutes. You were always the first, always faster, always a little bit bigger and better than me. Truth is I looked up to you. We all did. You were the bravest of anybody we knew. I hid in your shadow so often, Brawd. I don’t think you even knew it. I always felt as long as I had you somewhere close I was safe. I’ve always known that somebody would be on my side no matter what because I had you for my brother. ” He was speaking quickly, leaning over the bed, “I need to tell you some things, so all that’s never been said is said. You never let me down. I’ve always been proud to be your twin. It took me a long time to step out of your shadow and figure out who I was. Even then I wished I was more like you. You’ve got a rotten streak in you, but you’ve always been kind. I get angry and I do and say things I might not mean, but you…you only say what you mean and even when it’s nasty it’s fair. You did more good things in your life than I can count or probably even know about.” Alexander’s voice was losing its resolve, “Who knows how many children might have suffered or even died if you hadn’t been their doctor. And you with all of our kids…you were amazing to watch. I still admire you.”
He pulled the chair close to the side of the bed and sat, “As we got older, I hoped it would be me who died first. I’m afraid, Oliver. I’m so selfish, really. There you are wasting away and I keep thinking that I’ve never been without my brother. Eighty-five years and I’ve never had my own birthday. I don’t want to start now, either. My God, Ollie, I’ve never even had my own face! I’ll be the only one who looks like me. And then I think what will I do without my brother? Where will I hide? Who will back me up when I bite off more than I can chew? Who is Alexander without Oliver? I don’t know the answers. I’m truly afraid. I feel like half of me is being cleaved off. I love you, Oliver,” His voice broke, “And I don’t want to say what I’m going to, but it must be said…” Alex took a deep breath before he spoke again, “You’re dying and there’s nothing any one of us can do to help you anymore. We watch you fight it and you’re very brave, but…there comes a time when you have to let it go. You don’t have to be strong anymore. This is bigger than you. You can’t beat it and you don’t have to suffer on our account…” He was sobbing now, “I don’t know why it’s you and not me, but you need to go, Brother. You need to go. God, how I will miss you, but, please…”
Oliver spoke, but I could not make out a word he said. Alexander nodded, “I know you do. No, Oliver, you’ve no reason to be sorry! Lucy will be fine. She’s sad. We’re all sad…what? I promise. I promise I will.” Oliver gurgled something else, “OK. I’ll tell her. I promise, Big Brother.” Alex’s voice broke, “Oliver, it’s OK. Please don’t hurt anymore. I can’t watch you go through this anymore. It’s OK to die now. I swear it is. I will take care of her. I’ll look after Silvia. I promise.”
I allowed him sit with his head on his brother’s shoulder for a long time before I let my sister go and walked into the room. I put my hand against the back of Alexander’s head and gently stroked his hair, “May I speak to him now?”
Alex stood and moved the chair aside so I could lie on the bed I shared for so many years with Oliver. Lucy came in and put her arms around her husband. She took him into the front room, but he could hardly walk. She held him up all the way until the nurse offered him her arm.
After listening to Alex, something had clicked in my mind. That something was that Oliver was not going because of me. When he had promised so many years ago that he’d never leave me alone, we had just been children. Forever had a completely different meaning then. We certainly were not children anymore. It was time for me to release him from that bond. Oliver needed my permission to die.
I put my face close to his and laid my arm across his chest. What I said was the hardest thing I have ever had to say, “He’s right, Sweetheart,” I whispered into his ear, “It’s OK. You can leave me now. Alexander and I will take care of each other. I won’t be alone. We’ll be fine.” I wove my fingers through his, “I don’t want you to die, but I do understand that you don’t have a choice. You’re not breaking any promises. Don’t suffer for me, Oliver. I would never ask you to. If you’re still afraid, I’ll stay here with you just like this until you’ve left. I’ll hold you forever if you need me to. It’s all right now. I’ll love you still even more when you’re gone. It’s part of the magic, remember?”
I heard a crack. I thought it was the window before I heard a voice that I had only heard once in my life and not again since.
“It’s very kind for Silver Miss and the Doppelganger to set the Boy from the Olive Tree free. He’s been fighting Death for days just waiting for the both of you to tell him he could go.”
“Hello, Lady Folia,” I whispered.
“He’s had a good life. The best kind and he’ll even have a fine death with the one he was born next to and the one he was meant to walk with at his side.” There was a long pause, “I know not much about the secrets of humans and of how they come and go, but I do know they share a magic with us called Love. It’s a strong magic, it comes from deep within the source of all creation. Because it’s so strong with him he takes it when he crosses through the veil. As well, because he has been so loved, he has even a gift when he arrives. Death has waiting for him the boon you lost so long ago. He’ll be with your Little Cara in a place where no touch can ever harm them.”
“Have peace, Silver Miss. What she says is true,” It was Lord Copse that spoke, “Death feels cold to the living, but to those he is receiving, he has gentle hands. Because of the magic of Love, when Death comes for you, you will find the boon Cara and he with her. In your time, Silver Miss. In your time, you will.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, “Thank you both.”
“There is no thanks needed,” Lady Folia’s voice was reflective, “It has been our great honour to have known a friend as fine as the Boy from the Olive Tree. His crossing the veil does not have the same meaning to us as to you. We will hear him in the whispers and see him on the winds, but even still like you, we will miss his presence in the wood.”
“In all the ages no one has been as loyal as he,” Lord Copse sounded so close I was sure he stood on the bed, “We must go now and prepare our lament, Silver Miss. Even we somehow must find a way to say goodbye.”
There was a crack and I knew they had gone.
Oliver was looking at me. His eyes were cloudy with illness and pain, dulled by medication, but for just a second they looked exactly the same as they had all those years ago when he was a boy making sure I wasn’t hurt after he hit me in the head with a rubber ball.
“It’s OK. Go now,” I leaned over him and I kissed him on his mouth, “I’ll stay with you. I’m not hurt or ticked off…I’m just fine…”
“You’re Just Silvia,” He whispered. His voice did not sound like his own except that it was so gentle, “And I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
He pushed the button for more medicine to be released into his IV and closed his eyes. I felt his body relax.