Eventually I stopped saying it. So today what I have been saying is that the world is everything that is the case, instead.
Oh, well.
In the meantime I have also been wondering if one's reading of six pages in a history of music that was written for children, and had been printed in extraordinarily large type, can truly be considered as the reading of a life of Brahms?
Or did I also read certain additional pages in the more genuine life of Brahms, such as certain pages about dancing girls, when I was setting fire to those pages in trying to simulate a seagull?
Not knowing that there was a second copy of the identical book, with all of the pages still in it, still here in the house?
Doubtless these are inconsequential perplexities. Still, inconsequential perplexities have now and again been known to become the fundamental mood of existence, one suspects.
The world is everything that is the case.
Hm.
But I have just made one more connection that I had never thought about before either.
Will the house that I am dismantling become the second house on this beach that I have burned to the ground?
Granting that I am burning that house board by board, and that it will be quite some time before I have dismantled it fully enough to be able to consider it as having been burned to the ground, nonetheless the fact that I am doing exactly that would appear to be indisputable.
One day that house, too, will look as if Robert Rauschenberg had gotten to it.
There is the house that I dismantled board by board and erased to the ground, I will think in walking past.
Doubtless by then I will also be erasing another house.
Naturally I have been leaving out such things as stone chimneys when I have spoken about houses as still being houses even when they are no longer houses, by the way.
Well, and plumbing.
As a matter of fact one can still see a toilet fastened to pipes on the second floor of the house in which I knocked over the kerosene lamp.
Even if there is no longer a second floor.
There is the toilet on the second floor of the house that I burned to the ground, is what I will more truly think, in walking past. Or, soon I will be coming to the toilet on the second floor of the house that I burned to the ground.
In SoHo, back at the beginning, I now remember that I used to empty bottled water into the tank, so as to still be able to flush.
Any number of habits died hard, that way. For some period I continued carrying my driver's license and other identification, similarly.
Naturally I will have stopped taking the path to the beach once it has become genuinely snowy here, on the other hand.
Which is to say that I sometimes still do make use of a bathroom after all, even if in this case it is by having taken up a board from the bathroom floor.
Perhaps I have not mentioned having taken up a board from the bathroom floor.
I have taken up a board from the bathroom floor.
In a manner of speaking, doubtless it might be said that I am dismantling this house, too.
Although I have scarcely burned that particular board, which is in fact normally back in the identical place from which I have taken it.
As often as it has appeared necessary, I have shoveled away part of the embankment just outside.
Doubtless I had established some sort of similar hygienic arrangement in the house that I burned to the ground on the night that my rowboat disappeared, as well.
In fact my rowboat did not disappear on the night that I burned that house to the ground.
It was on that night that I happened to become aware of the rowboat's disappearance, which is something else altogether.
Very possibly the rowboat had already been gone for days, since I had scarcely yet taken to looking out for it as I do now.
I will not trouble to point out again how one's language is frequently imprecise in such ways.
One morning I was similarly convinced that all seventeen of my watches had disappeared too, now that I think about it.
What happened was that I woke up in a car beside the Pont Neuf, in Paris, and understood that I had not heard the alarms.
Why have I been awakened by the sun coming in through my windshield, I wondered, instead of by my seventeen simultaneous buzzings?
It was some moments before I remembered that I had divested myself of the watches on a different bridge altogether, some while before, I believe in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
Although I find it interesting that I can almost always make a distinction between periods when I was mad and periods when I was not, when one comes down to it.
Such as when I read certain books out loud, as I did with Aeschylus and Euripides when I was living in the Louvre, which was always a conclusive sign.
The Louvre is practically right beside the Pont Neuf, by the way.
The reverse of that statement being equally true, obviously.
In either case doubtless I was not yet living in the Louvre on the morning when I woke up in the car practically right beside it.
Surely I would have had no reason to sleep in a car if I had already taken to burning artifacts and picture frames in the museum itself, which I unquestionably eventually did.
Well, such as the frame from La Gioconda by Leonardo, for instance, from which the old varnish gave the smoke an astringent odor.
Although the sun actually woke me in cars far more times than that once, to tell the truth.
Frequently I watched the sun setting from cars, as well.
The latter was especially true in Russia, of course, where I kept on driving into the west for day after day after day.
Almost every one of the books I read about ancient Troy was a book that I read out loud, come to think about it.
For some reason, a part I always liked was Odysseus pretending he was mad himself, so that they would not make him go to fight.
How he pretended this was by sowing salt into the ground, while he was plowing.
Somebody very shrewdly put Odysseus's little boy into one of the furrows, however, and naturally he did not plow his little boy.
Tiepolo painted this also, I believe. The Madness of Ulysses, being what he called it.
In fact I am quite certain that the painting is in the same museum with The Rape of Helen, even if I cannot remember which museum that is.
Possibly I should point out that Odysseus and Ulysses were the same person. For some reason the Romans changed his name.
Well, doubtless they did this for the identical reason that the Spaniards changed El Greco's name. Even if Odysseus seems hardly as difficult to pronounce as Domenikos Theotocopoulos.
La Gioconda is another name for the Mona Lisa, of course.
In the Odyssey, while he is waiting for Ulysses to come home, the same little boy goes to visit Helen and Menelaus, in Sparta, and Helen has a splendid radiant dignity.
Then again the little boy is hardly so little by then, it having been ten years for the war and still another ten with Odysseus being a tourist.
This is the same twenty years during which Penelope is said to have spent her time weaving, naturally, if one wishes to believe that.
I doubt that I believe one word of it, myself.
Penelope and Helen were cousins, incidentally.
The things one knows.
Well, this making her Clytemnestra's cousin too, of course, Helen and Clytemnestra having been sisters.
Although what I am now thinking about is the scene in which Odysseus has himself lashed to the mast of his ship, so that he can listen to the Sirens singing but will stay put.
For some reason this story reminds me of something, even though I cannot remember what it reminds me of.
Telemachus is the little boy's name, by the way. Although I believe I mentioned this a good many pages ago.