Park Side was owned by Tony Federici, a true man of respect. Not surprisingly, he was a reputed this and a reputed that—but in my book he was nothing more than the best host in the five boroughs of New York City. Typically, you could find Tony walking around his restaurant in a chef’s apron, holding a jug of homemade Chianti in one hand and a tray of roasted peppers in the other.
The Cobbler and I were sitting at a table in the fabulous garden section. At this particular moment we were talking about him replacing Elliot as my primary rathole.
“Fundamentally, I have no problem with it,” I was saying to the greedy Cobbler, who had become obsessed with the rathole game, “but I have two concerns. The first is how the fuck are you gonna kick me back all the cash without leaving a paper trail? It’s a lot of fucking money, Cobbler. And my second concern is that you’re already Monroe Parker’s rathole, and I don’t want to be stepping on their toes.” I shook my head for effect. “A rathole is a very personal thing, so I’d first have to clear it with Alan and Brian.”
The Cobbler nodded. “I understand what you’re saying, and as far as kicking back the cash goes, it won’t be a problem. I can do it through our Steve Madden stock. Whenever I sell stock I’m holding for you, I’ll just overpay you on it. On paper I owe you over four million dollars, so I have a legitimate reason to be writing you checks. And at the end of the day, the numbers will be so big, nobody’s gonna be able to keep track of it anyway, right?”
Not such a bad idea, I thought, especially if we drew up some sort of consulting agreement where Steve would pay me money each year for helping him run Steve Madden Shoes. But the fact that Steve was ratholing 1.5 million shares of Steve Madden stock for me raised a more troubling issue—namely, that Steve owned hardly any stock in his own company. It was something that needed to be rectified now, lest it create problems down the road when Steve realized that I was making tens of millions and he was making only millions. So I smiled and said, “We’ll work something out with the rathole. I think using the Madden stock is a pretty good idea, at least to start, but it leads to a more important subject, which is your lack of ownership in the company. We need to get you more stock before things really start to crank. You have only three hundred thousand shares, right?”
Steve nodded. “And a few thousand stock options; that’s about it.”
“Okay, well, as your general scheming partner, I strongly advise you to grant yourself a million stock options at a fifty percent discount to the current market. It’s the righteous thing to do, especially since you and I are gonna be splitting them fifty–fifty, which is the most righteous part of all. We’ll keep them in your name so NASDAQ won’t flip a lid, and when it comes time to sell, you’ll just kick me back along with everything else.”
The Master Cobbler smiled and extended his hand toward me. “I can’t thank you enough, JB. I never said anything, but it’s definitely been bothering me a bit. I knew that when the time came, though, we would work it out.” Then he rose from his chair, as did I, and we exchanged a Mafia-style hug, which in this restaurant didn’t elicit a shrug from a single patron.
As we both retook our seats, Steve said, “But why don’t we make it a million-five, instead? Seven-fifty for each of us.”
“No,” I said, with a pleasant tingle in my ten fingertips, “I don’t like working with odd numbers. It’s bad luck. Let’s just round it off to two million. Besides, it’ll be easier to keep track of—a million options for each of us.”
“Done!” agreed the Cobbler. “And since you’re the company’s largest shareholder, we should bypass the hassle of a board meeting. It’s all strictly legitimate, right?”
“Well,” I replied, scratching my chin thoughtfully, “as your general scheming partner, I strongly advise you to refrain from using this word legitimate,except under the most dire circumstances. But since you already let the genie out of the bottle, I’ll go out on a limb here and give this transaction a hearty two thumbs-up. Besides, this is something we mustdo, so it’s not our fault. We’ll chalk it up to a sense of fair play.”
“I agree,” said the happy Cobbler. “It’s beyond our control. There are strange forces at work here that are far more powerful than a humble Cobbler or a not-so-humble Wolf of Wall Street.”
“I like the way you think, Cobbler. Call the lawyers when you get back to the office and tell them to backdate the minutes from the last board meeting. If they give you a hard time, tell them to call me.”
“No problem,” said the Cobbler, who had just increased his stake by four hundred percent. Then he lowered his voice and changed his tone to one of a conspirator. “Listen—if you want, you don’t even have to tell Danny about this.” He smiled devilishly. “If he asks me, I’ll tell him they’re all mine.”
Christ! What a fucking backstabber this guy was!Could he possibly think this made me respect him more? But I kept that thought to myself. “I’ll tell you the truth,” I said, “I’m not happy with the way Danny’s running things right now. He’s like the Spitter when it comes to holding inventory. When I left Stratton, the firm was short a couple million dollars of stock. Now it’s basically flat. It’s a real fucking shame.” I shook my head gravely. “Anyway, Stratton’s making more money nowthan ever, which is what happens when you trade long. But now Danny’s vulnerable.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Whatever. I’m done worrying about it. Regardless, I still can’t cut him out.”
Steve shrugged. “Don’t take what I said the wrong way”— Oh, really? How else am I supposed to take it, you fucking backstabber!—“but it’s just that you and I are gonna spend the next five years building this company. You know, Brian and Alan aren’t thrilled with Danny either. And neither are Loewenstern and Bronson. At least that’s what I hear through the grapevine. You’re gonna have to let those guys go their separate ways eventually. They’ll always be loyal to you, but they want to do their own deals, away from Danny.”
Just then I saw Tony Federici heading our way, wearing his white chef’s ensemble and carrying a jug of Chianti. So I rose to greet him. “Hey, Tony, how are you?” Kill anyone lately? I thought.
I motioned to Steve and said, “Tony, I’d like you to meet a very close friend of mine: This is Steve Madden. We’re partners in a shoe company over in Woodside.”
Steve immediately rose from his chair, and with a hearty smile he said, “Hey, Tough Tony! Tony Corona! I’ve heard of you! I mean, I grew up out on Long Island, but even there everyone’s heard of Tough Tony! It’s a pleasure to meet you!” With that, Steve extended his hand to his newfound friend, Tough Tony Corona, who despised that nickname immensely.
Well, there are many ways to go, I figured, and this was one of them. Perhaps Tony would be kind and allow Steve the honor of keeping his testicles attached to his body, so he could be buried with them.
I watched the Master Cobbler’s bony, pale hand hover suspensefully in the air, waiting to be grasped by a return hand, which was nowhere in sight. Then I looked at Tony’s face. He seemed to be smiling, although this particular smile was one a sadistic warden would offer a death-row inmate as he asked, “What would you like for your last meal?”
Finally, Tony did extend his hand, albeit limply. “Yeah, nice to meet ya,” said a toneless Tony. His dark brown eyes were like two death rays.
“It’s nice to meet you too, Tough Tony,” said the increasingly dead Cobbler. “I’ve heard only the best things about this restaurant, and I plan on coming here a lot. If I call for a reservation, I’ll just tell them I’m a friend of Tough Tony Corona! Okay?”
“Okay, then!”I said with a nervous smile. “I think we’d better get back to business, Steve.” Then I turned to Tony and said, “Thanks for coming over to say hello. It was good seeing you, as always.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head, as if to say, “Don’t mind my friend; he has Tourette’s syndrome.”