His eyes were liquid.
“That’s enough, Mr. Holser.”
“But, sir--”
“Quite enough! Cadet, come with me.” I turned to the corridor. Derek followed. I led him to Lieutenant Dagalow’s empty cabin near the bridge, shut the hatch behind us.
“Stand easy, Mr. Carr.” Derek sagged against the bulkhead, fighting for control. Now I would get though to him, if ever I would. “Is it bad, Derek?” My voice was soft.
He turned away, pressed his face against the bulkhead as a sob escaped him. “Oh, God. You don’t know! I tried, I did!” He fought shuddering gasps, unable to speak further.
I gave his shoulder a squeeze. It was too much for him; he was completely undone. When his crying eased, he whispered, “Why is he so brutal, Mr. Seafort? Why is there so much cruelty?”
I thought for a moment. “Why does it surprise you?” He looked up, astonished at my unsympathetic tone. “We’ve always had brutality, Derek. It just takes different forms. In the eighteenth century the British Navy flogged seamen to death. In the twentieth century, offenders were cooked by twenty thousand volts of current. In the last century the Pentecostal heretics were savagely suppressed, while most people applauded. There’s always been brutality. Why should the Navy be any different?”
“But...” His lip trembled. “People like you, like Alexi, aren’t--”
“We’re part of the system. We’ve all experienced cruelty.”
I scowled. “Do you think you have it worse than we did?”
“Don’t I?”
“No. Once, when I was a cadet, middies washed my mouth out with soap. They didn’t like my bunkmate; they gave him an enema. Did Vax do that to you?”
“Oh, Lord God! No!”
“I was caned several times at Academy, and I’ve been caned by Lieutenant Cousins aboard Hibernia.I don’t know about Academy, but I don’t think I deserved it here. So what? I survived.”
“What about justice? What about decency, or human feelings?”
“What if you were a middy aboard Celestinaand only absolute, unquestioning obedience to orders would save the ship?” It shocked him into silence.
“Brutality is part of the human condition,” I told him.
“You may encounter a Captain with a sadistic streak. You’ll have to live with him.” I paused to make sure he was listening. “Derek, someday you’ll command squads of sailors.
How can you understand what you’re asking of them unless you can obey orders yourself?”
“I’m never going to command.” His tone was bitter.
“Look at me!”
“You’re going to make it. Hang on; do whatever he asks.
That’s all it takes.”
“I obey orders. He just gets crazier. The things he’s done to me... I can’t stand it! I want out!” Tears flowed anew.
“You can’t quit!” I said angrily. “I warned you before you took the oath.”
“Then--brig me for insubordination, or whatever you do.
I can’t take any more!”
I put both hands on his shoulders. “Derek Carr, I promise you: try your best. Your very best. I’ll know, and I’ll make you midshipman. But it has to be your best. Give it your all.”He looked into my eyes a long while. His breath shuddered.
At last he nodded reluctantly. “I will. But not for him. For you. Because you have the decency to ask, not demand.”
“Whatever you choose to call it. When I’m certain you’ve done your best I’ll make you an officer. Now, this conversation never happened. Cadets don’t cry, and Captains don’t comfort them. Go back to the wardroom, apologize to Vax for your tantrum--”
“I never had a tantrum!” Derek said indignantly.
“I saw you in there, quivering. Not Navy at all. Apologize, and do as he says.”
Derek took a deep breath. “Aye aye, sir.” He swallowed and made a face. Then he saluted. “Thank you, Captain Seafort.”
I returned his salute. “Dismissed, Cadet.”
“Lord God, today is July 23, 2195, on the U.N.S. Hiber-nia.We ask you to bless us, to bless our voyage, and to bring health and well-being to all aboard.”
“Amen.”
I nodded affably to my companions. Mr. Ibn Saud, seated with me by my invitation for the second month in a row, the Treadwell twins, my old friend Mrs. Donhauser. Other guests: Lars Holme, an agricultural economist going to Hope Nation to work for the administration; Sarah Butler, a friendly young lady of nineteen, with whom I hoped to become even friendlier. And Jay Annah, an astrophysicist going on to Detour to set up a new project. Something about wavelengths and timelines; I couldn’t begin to understand him.
Many passengers now sought invitations to the Captain’s table; after the affair with Darla’s memory banks had become known, my long siege had lifted. It would have been politic to include Yorinda Vincente, but I indulged myself, and did not.Rafe Treadwell asked brightly, “Captain, why are we Defusing tomorrow?”
I’d long since stopped wondering how everyone aboard ship knew our doings as soon as I did. “A navigation check, Rafe. To sight on Miningcamp.”
“Are we near?”
“Not close enough to see it,” I said, and his face fell.
“But if we Defuse where we expect, we’ll be only a few days from landfall.”
He chewed his bread, gathering his nerve. “Captain--sir... could I watch us Defuse? Please?”
“Sorry, no. Anyway, there’s not that much to watch. You can look out a porthole and see the same thing.” That wasn’t really true; the simulscreens gave a view the naked eye couldn’t capture. In any event, passengers weren’t allowed on the bridge, especially when the ship was maneuvering.
The youngster tried to hide his disappointment.
Well, what was the point of being Captain if I couldn’t bend the rules? “All right. Permission granted.”
His face lit up. “Wow! Zarky! Can Paula come too?” I wasn’t overjoyed at the prospect of two joeys on the bridge instead of one, but looking after his sister should be rewarded.
I consented.
So the bridge was more crowded than usual: the Pilot and I; the two Treadwells, whom I’d placed behind me in the center of the cabin where they couldn’t touch the console; and Vax, shepherding Derek Carr, who was being taught the elements of standing watch. Carr, squeaky clean, in a crisp spotless gray uniform, observed everything with curious, roving eyes, standing at ease as ordered.
I took the caller. “Bridge to engine room, prepare to Defuse.”
“Prepare to Defuse, aye aye, sir.” A pause. “Engine room ready for Defuse, sir. Control passed to bridge.”
“Passed to bridge, aye aye.” My finger touched the top of the console screen and traced the line from “Full” to “Off”.
A blaze of stars filled the screen. Paula Treadwell gasped with delight. Derek took in a sharp breath.
“Confirm clear of encroachments, Pilot.”
“Clear, sir.”
I took in the splendor in the simulscreens. Finally realizing they couldn’t proceed until I gave the awaited command, I snapped, “Mr. Haynes, plot our position. You too, Cadet.
Mr. Holser, correct his mistakes.”
“Aye aye, sir.”
The Pilot ran his calculations, using the star charts in Darla’s memory. I followed, on my own console. Our positions agreed. Derek misread his figures, but corrected himself when Vax stirred with a growl. He too emerged with a plot that agreed with ours.
“Prepare new coordinates, Pilot,” I said. “Cadet, you also.” At least I’d get to watch Derek sweat over the console, as I’d once done under Captain Haag’s disapproving eye.
To my chagrin, Derek ran through the complicated exercise without error. His figures agreed with the Pilot’s to four decimals. A raw recruit, faster than I was. Muttering under my breath, I worked through the figures, confirming each step for myself. This time no one commented on my delay.
“Proceed.”
The Pilot entered the coordinates. “Received and understood, Captain,” Darla said.
“Chief Engineer, Fuse, please.”
“Aye aye, sir. Fusion drive is... on.” The screens darkened.