Sorrow. It invaded every inch of her body, crawled in her mind, lay heavy on her soul. Mikhail was lost to her. Somehow, some way, during those few hours he was apart from her, he had slipped away. Raven shook her head, her grief so deep and wild she was strangling on it, unable to get enough air to breathe.
“Raven, stop this!” Father Hummer caught her small, bent figure and guided her to the edge of the bed. “Mikhail asked me to be here. He said he would come for you early this evening.”
“You don’t know...”
“Why would he have gotten me out of bed at such an hour? I’m an old man, child. I need my rest. You need to think, use your intellect.”
“But it feels so real, as if he’s dead and I’ve lost him forever.”
“But you know it isn’t so,” he argued reasonably. “Mikhail chose you for his own. What you share with him is what his people share with their mates. They take the physical and mental bond for granted. They cherish it, and from what I have learned over the years it is so strong, one rarely survives the loss of the other. Mikhail’s people are more of the earth, wild and free like the animals, but with phenomenal abilities and a conscience.”
He surveyed her tear-ravaged face, the grief in her eyes. She was still laboring to breathe, but he felt her tears lessen. “Are you listening to me, Raven?”
She nodded, striving desperately to latch onto his words, to regain her sanity. This man knew Mikhail, had known him for years. She could read his affection for Mikhail, and he was certain of Mikhail’s strength.
“For some reason God has given you the ability to form a mental as well as physical link to Mikhail. With that comes awesome responsibility. You literally hold his life in your hands. You must get beyond this feeling and use your brain. You know he isn’t dead. He told you he would return. He sent me to you, afraid you might harm yourself. Think; reason. You are human, not an animal crying out for its mate.”
Raven tried to grasp what he was saying. She felt as if she was in a deep hole and couldn’t claw her way out. She concentrated on each of his words, forcing them into her mind. Deep breathing forced air into her burning lungs. Was it possible? Damn him for putting her through this, for knowing it would happen. Was she really that far gone?
Raven brushed the tears from her face, determined to pull herself together. She was determined to push the grief aside enough to let in rational thought. She could feel it eating at her, waiting on the outer edges of her consciousness to consume her. “And why can’t I eat or drink anything but water?” She rubbed at her temples, missing the alarm that spread across the priest’s weathered features.
Father Hummer cleared his throat. “How long has that been going on, Miss Whitney?”
The terrible emptiness crouched in her gut, in her mind, waiting to leap, to sink its teeth into her again. Raven struggled for control. She lifted her chin. “Raven; please call me Raven. You seem to know all about me anyway.” She was trying to control the trembling. Holding out her hands, she stared at them as they shook. “Isn’t this silly?”
“Come to my house, child. It will be dawn soon. You can spend the day with me. I would consider it a great honor.”
“He knew this would happen to me, didn’t he?” Raven asked softly, beginning to understand. “That’s why he sent you. He was afraid I might actually harm myself.”
Edgar Hummer let out his breath slowly. “I’m afraid so, child. They are not as we are.”
“So he tried to tell me. But I’m not like them. Why would this happen to me?” Raven asked. “It doesn’t make any sense. Why did he think this would happen?”
“You completed the ritual with him. You are his other half. The light to his darkness. One can’t be without the other. Come with me, Raven, back to my house. We’ll sit together and talk of Mikhail until he comes for you.”
Chapter Eight
Raven hesitated. The idea of learning more about Mikhail was tempting. Very tempting. “I think now that I know what is happening to me, I might be able to handle it on my own. It’s very late, Father, and I already feel ashamed that you’ve had to sit in the cold and watch over me.”
Father Hummer patted her wrist. “That’s nonsense, girl. I enjoy these little errands. At my age, one looks forward to the unusual. At least come downstairs and spend some time with me. Mrs. Galvenstein keeps a fire going in the parlor.”
Raven shook her head vigorously, an instinctive act of protection for Mikhail. The inn held many of his enemies within its walls. She would never place him in danger no matter how difficult a time she might be experiencing.
Edgar Hummer sighed softly. “I can’t leave you, Raven. I gave my word to Mikhail. He has done so much for my congregation, the people in this village, and asks little in return.” The priest rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. “I must stay, child, in case it grows worse.”
Raven swallowed hard. Margaret Summers was asleep somewhere in the building. Raven could guard herself, even her most intense grief, but she could easily read Father Hummer’s natural worry. If she could do it, Margaret could. Making up her mind, Raven caught up her jacket, brushed at the tears on her face, and led the way down the stairs before she changed her mind. The most important thing for her at that moment was to protect Mikhail. The need was elemental, part of her soul.
Once outside, Raven zipped her jacket to her chin. She had changed to her faded jeans and a college sweatshirt the moment she had returned to her room. Fog was everywhere, thick, only a foot or so from the ground. It was very cold. She glanced at the priest. His English might be a bit halting, but intelligence and integrity shone on his weathered features and in the faded blue of his eyes. He was cold from the time spent on the balcony. The priest was too old to be dragged from the warmth of his cottage to do such a task in the middle of the night.
She pushed back stray tendrils of hair as she forced herself to walk calmly through the village. It should have been peaceful, but she carried the knowledge that a group of fanatical people was murdering those they believed to be vampires. Inside her heart was aching and heavy. Her mind needed the reassurance of a mind touch with Mikhail. She glanced at the older man beside her. His walk was brisk, his manner restful, soothing. This was a man long ago at peace with himself and those around him.
“You’re certain he’s alive?” The question slipped out before she could stop it, just when she was so proud of herself for appearing normal.
“Absolutely, child. He gave me the impression that he would be gone this day until nightfall without the usual means of contacting him.” He grinned at her, a conspirator’s grin. “Personally, I use his pager. Gadgets fascinate me. When I visit him, I play on his computer as often as I can. Once I locked the thing up and it took him a while to figure out what I did to it.” He was absurdly pleased with that. “Of course, you understand, I could have told him, but it would have taken all the fun out of it.”
Raven laughed; she couldn’t help herself. “At last, a man after my own heart. I’m glad someone besides myself gives him a hard time. He needs it, you know. All those people bowing and scraping. It’s not good for him.” Her hands were freezing so she shoved them into her pockets.
“I do my best, Raven,” the priest admitted, “but we don’t need to be telling him. Some things are best kept between us.”
She smiled at him, relaxing just a little. “I agree with you on that. How long have you known Mikhail?” If she couldn’t reach out to him, touch him, maybe she could soothe the gaping raw wound of emptiness by talking about him. She found she was beginning to feel angry at Mikhail. He should have prepared her for this.
The priest looked toward the forest, toward Mikhail’s home, then raised his eyes heavenward. He had known Mikhail since his own youth, when he’d been a green priest, sent straight from his homeland to a tiny village in the middle of nowhere. Of course, he had been moved around since, but he was semiretired now, and they let him go where he wanted, the place he had grown to love.