No one can hold you down.
So take what you want and then take all the rest, ’cause this girl is headin’ out of town.
The summer sun was beatin’ down, the day your eyes met mine.
I was mesmerized by the smile on your lips, didn’t know how sweet they could lie.
Every touch, every moment in time, you caused every sigh.
Now I’m left her alone, thinkin’ I should have seen, I should’ve seen you’d make me cry.
’Cause you’re a heartbreaker, a soul taker.
No one can hold you down.
So take what you want and then take all the rest, ‘cause this girl is headin’ out of town.
One day I know I’ll be moving on, but I fear you’ll always be
Right there holding a piece of my heart that’ll never belong to me.
And I’ll live my life, find reasons to smile so everyone will always think
That you didn’t shake me and totally break me.
They’ll never know I’ll never be free.
’Cause you’re a heartbreaker, a soul taker.
No one will hold you down.
So take what you want and then take all the rest, ’cause this girl is getting away from you.
Heartbreaker, you soul taker, I’ll never be the same.
You took what you wanted, I gave it away,
Now I’m left here standing in the rain.
CAGE
I’d pitched a perfect game. Throwing my keys on the bar in the kitchen, I walked over to the fridge to grab a Gatorade. Five green Jarritos sat on the top shelf. I stopped and jerked around to see a very pregnant Low smiling at me and sitting in my living room with her feet propped up.
“No Jarritos in your fridge when I got here? Really? What am I supposed to think? That I’m not welcome in your new digs? Because I have the key you sent me,” she said, dangling the key I’d mailed her once I’d gotten my shit out of Ace’s apartment and gotten my own place.
I took two long strides and jumped the sofa in my way to pull Low into my arms. I missed her. I missed home.… I just couldn’t go back. I couldn’t see it. I’d think of her. I couldn’t let myself think of her.
“You’re fucking here! I can’t believe you’re fucking here!” I didn’t hug her as tightly as I wanted since there was a belly in between us that I was pretty damn sure I wasn’t supposed to squish.
Low squeezed me and laughed. That sound was the first thing that had made me smile in… well, in a while. A long damn while. “Of course I’m here. You weren’t talking much on the phone. You won’t come home to visit. I had to do something. I was worrying.”
“I can’t believe Papa Bear let you travel this far by yourself,” I said, stepping back to look at my very-pregnant best friend.
She scrunched up her nose. “He didn’t. He’s out… That’s who brought me the Jarritos when I got here and saw you didn’t have any,” she teased, punching my arm.
I wasn’t surprised that Marcus wasn’t too far from her. I was glad. Once that had pissed me off. Now it made Low one less thing I had to worry about.
She sat down on the chair she’d been in and propped her feet back up on the ottoman. “So talk to me. You won’t talk to me on the phone. I only know bits and pieces from the short conversations we’ve had. I need to know what the hell is going on with you.”
I didn’t want to talk about this. Not even with Low. I hadn’t talked about it with anyone. I shook my head and turned away from her and stared out the window. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
Low let out a disbelieving laugh. “Uh, no. That’s bullshit. You won’t come home and Eva’s daddy is dying. Something is seriously wrong. I want to know what. So talk or send me into an early labor.”
Maybe if I talked about it, my chest wouldn’t hurt so bad. Maybe I’d be able to close my eyes at night and not see Eva bent over, throwing up, about what she saw. Pictures I’d never seen. Ones I never wanted to see. They would be the end of me. I couldn’t deal with them.
“I fucked up. I let people in I shouldn’t. I trusted the wrong people and got screwed over,” I said, sitting down on the sofa and finally meeting Low’s concerned gaze.
“Explain that. Because you can’t be talking about Eva being the wrong people,” she said with a cocked eyebrow. She was going to defend Eva to the end. I loved her for that.
“No not… not her.” I still couldn’t say her name, dammit. I wanted to say her name. I wanted to feel it on my lips. But I couldn’t. It tore my chest back open if I even tried.
“Then who?”
“The guy I was rooming with when I first got here. That’s who. He was the pitcher. The star pitcher. He wanted the big leagues. He had his eye on the prize, and he was worried about me taking away his game. So he set me up, hoping to send me running home. He… he fucked it all up. He took away my life. So I took away his. Doesn’t feel better. But seeing his face as I pitch a perfect game while he sits on the bench feels good. For a moment. It’s a fleeting moment.”
Low dropped her feet to the floor and leaned forward. “What did he do to set you up?”
“He has a fuck buddy. Some whore who sleeps with the team for fun. He took photos of me that were completely misconstrued and then he had her kiss me out of fucking nowhere and got a picture of that. I shoved her ass off and got away from her, but not before he snapped a photo that I didn’t know he was taking. Then they drugged my beer. Got me making out with her on video. Then took a photo of us naked in bed.” I swallowed hard. Saying the next part was the hardest part. “Then… They… They sent it to… her.”
Low’s gasp as she covered her mouth was followed by a “Holy shit”.
“Yeah. She saw it all.”
“Ohmygod. Why would they? That’s horrible, Cage! Did you tell the authorities? Have them arrested?”
I shook my head. “No. That’s too easy. I wanted to make them pay. I wanted revenge. An eye for a fucking eye.”
“How do you know it was her? Or that roommate of yours?”
I closed my eyes, trying to fight back that morning and the memories that went with it. I didn’t want to remember Eva’s words to me. Those were the hardest. “He told me. He was sitting on the couch after it all went down. Jeremy calling me and everything.” I wouldn’t replay that part for her. “Ace was waiting on me on the couch. He was smirking at me. He said to have a nice trip home. Was sorry I couldn’t stick around. It all started coming together for me. He was the pitcher. I asked him if he knew about this and he said he’d orchestrated it all. He found my weakness and he’d used it against me.” I stopped and took a deep breath. “He didn’t realize how successfully he’d destroyed my world. The only thing he said that morning that I keep reminding myself over and over again was that I didn’t sleep with the girl. It was all set up. I did make out with her against a pool table with a crowd of witnesses. But according to other guys on the team, I was calling her… Eva. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. Even in my drugged-up state, I thought I was with Eva. I wasn’t cheating in my head. I didn’t know.” My chest hurt, but hearing her name on my lips eased some pain.
Low let out a breath she’d been holding. “Oh God, Cage. Have you explained this to Eva?”
I shook my head. “I can’t. She… She told me it was over. She didn’t let me explain. She told me I was her biggest mistake.”
“But, Cage, she was hurting! She had just seen something that destroyed her. I can’t imagine seeing Marcus like that with another girl. It would kill me. She is dealing with the pain of her daddy dying and then this. Of course she wanted to hurt you because she was hurting. It’s been weeks now. Call her. Go see her.”
I couldn’t. She hadn’t called. She hadn’t tried to contact me once. She hadn’t trusted me enough. Wasn’t trust part of love? She believed I didn’t love her, but she sure didn’t give me a chance to say anything.
“She didn’t trust me.”
Low reached over and took my hand in hers. “She was hurting.”