She shuddered. Lucius held her and said nothing, letting her speak at her own pace.

“They assembled the household slaves and took them into custody, dressed in their nightclothes. I’m not sure where they took them, but we later learned they were tortured – all of them, from the youngest to the oldest, from the accountant who kept records for the Virgo Maxima to the half-witted slave who emptied chamber pots. ‘You never know which slaves will yield the most damning evidence’ – so Catullus said at the trial. And by law, the testimony of any slave must be obtained by torture, even the slaves of a religious order like the Vestals. Some of the slaves died from the torture; they were too old to endure it. Others were maimed for life.

“Four of us were accused of breaking our vows of chastity: Varronilla, the Oculatae, and myself. I’m not sure why I was accused. They had no evidence against me, as it turned out. But I didn’t know that at the time. I racked my brain, trying to imagine what they knew and how they found out. We were always so careful, you and I! Or had they simply invented something, and intended to make their case using false evidence, against which I could offer no possible defense? We were taken to the Regia, the ancient house of the Pontifex Maximus in the Forum, and confined to a small room. I didn’t dare say anything to the others for fear that Catullus or one of his henchman was listening from some place of concealment.

“The trial took place in the Regia. Domitian presided, not in his role as censor but as Pontifex Maximus. All the Vestals and a great many priests were there. Catullus presented the evidence.

“Poor Varronilla! There was no question of her guilt. She had been very careless, confiding in one of the slaves, even telling the woman the name of her lover. The Oculata sisters were even more flagrant. They shared the same lover, at the same time, and were seen coming and going outside his house. The lovers of Varronilla and the Oculatae had already confessed, but they were made to appear before the court and repeat their testimony.

“Before Domitian rendered his judgement against those three, the Virgo Maxima begged him to be lenient. He told her she should be ashamed of herself, that she was running the House of the Vestals as if it were a brothel. But he offered conditional clemency: if the accused Vestals would admit their guilt, he would forgo the traditional punishment – being buried alive – and allow them to choose their own form of death. Varronilla and the Oculatae agreed. They confessed before the court, with Catullus asking questions. He forced them not only to name their lovers but to recount each of the occasions on which they broke their vows and to describe the specific acts in which they engaged, no matter how intimate or embarrassing – which parts of their bodies had been touched and penetrated, and in what positions, and what acts they had performed to please their lovers.

“After Catullus had wrung every humiliating detail from Varronilla and the Oculatae, he allowed them to step down. During all this time, no one had questioned me or even mentioned my name, except in the initial reading of the charges. I almost thought they had forgotten me. But they were saving me for last.

“No witnesses were called against me. How could there be witnesses, when not a single slave in the House of the Vestals knew anything of our affair, and no slave of yours had ever seen me in this house? Catullus called on me to name my lover and confess. If I did so, he said, I would be spared like the others from being buried alive and be allowed choose my own form of death.

“I told him I had nothing to say. Domitian rose from his chair and stood before me. ‘If you confess now, at this moment, you will be spared the traditional punishment. But this is your last chance. If subsequent evidence goes against you, and you are pronounced guilty, you will be buried alive. What do you say, Vestal?’

“Still I said nothing. But I thought: they must have Lucius; they must be holding him just outside this room. If I fail to confess, Catullus will parade Lucius before me, and my lover will tell them everything, and I shall be buried alive. How close I came to confessing! I was terrified. The suspense was unbearable. I could have ended it by telling Domitian what he wanted to hear. I had only to utter a few words, and it would be over.

“But I held fast. I said nothing. Catullus took Domitian aside and whispered in his hear. Domitian announced that I was to be taken to a private chamber, stripped, and examined to determine whether or not I was a virgin. He himself, in his role as Pontifex Maximus, would conduct the investigation, with the Virgo Maxima as witness.”

Lucius felt physically ill, imagining the scene. He shuddered.

“No, Lucius, it didn’t happen. The Virgo Maxima stood up to him. She said that such a procedure, carried out against a Vestal who maintained her innocence and against whom there was no evidence of wrongdoing, would be an offense against Vesta. The priests agreed. As timid as they are, almost all of them stepped forward to object. Even Domitian could see he had gone too far. He backed down. But he was furious. So was Catullus. Every time that man looked at me, I felt naked.

“Domitian dropped the charges against me. The Virgo Maxima counted that as a small victory. I still don’t know why I was accused, since they could produce no evidence against me. I think someone must have accused me anonymously, someone who may have suspected me without knowing enough to testify. Perhaps they thought I might confess simply from fear. I very nearly did.”

Lucius nodded slowly. “I think this Catullus was your accuser. Had you ever seen him before?”

“I must have, as part of the emperor’s entourage. I never took any notice of him.”

“But I’ll wager he noticed you. A man like that, lusting after a woman he can’t have, will use whatever influence he has to get her under his control.”

“He very nearly drove me to my death.”

“You’re a Vestal, Cornelia. Beautiful, aloof, unobtainable. There are men who would take perverse pleasure from destroying a woman like you. That may be exactly what Catullus wanted, to see you stripped naked and humiliated.”

“He failed, then. But he did manage to destroy Varronilla and the Oculata sisters. They were returned to their cell. The Virgo Maxima obtained a fast-acting poison for them. They died before sundown.”

“And their lovers?”

“Because they freely confessed, Domitian was lenient. Instead of being hung on crosses and being beaten to death with rods, they were stripped of their property and citizenship and sent into exile – a punishment no more severe than those Domitian hands out to slanderers and adulterers. But, Lucius, what of you? When you heard about the arrests, you must have been terrified.”

“My suffering was nothing compared to yours, Cornelia.”

“Even so-”

“It isn’t worth speaking of.”

In fact, the days and nights immediately after he learned of the accusations against the Vestals had been the longest of his life. At every moment he had expected a knock at his door. The punishment for a despoiler of a Vestal haunted his nightmares; sleep became impossible. He considered fleeing to one of his country estates, or even taking an outbound ship from Ostia, heading for the Euxine Sea and land of the Dacians to join Dio, but the futility of such an enterprise stopped him; if Domitian wanted to arrest him, there would be no escape, and sudden flight would be as good as a confession. Nor could he abandon Cornelia. If he should be arrested, he would refuse to testify, even if he was tortured – so he told himself – and if he was executed, he would die with the knowledge that he had not betrayed Cornelia.

He talked to no one about the arrests and upcoming trial, not even Epaphroditus. If he was being watched and followed, anyone with whom he had contact might fall under suspicion.