“You guys were blinding me,” he said.
He gave a hollow laugh. “Thanks, Sorcerer.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“I don’t suppose you could flash that helicopter back here?”
Regret etched his face. “I’m sorry, man. I tried to perform a grounding spell, but it got away before I could get a good grip on it.”
Jax stood and helped his mate up, limping a bit on his bad leg. He’d have to get the wound checked out. Later. “That’s all right. It’s my fault those sons of bitches got away with Aric. I take full responsibility.”
He drew her into his side, unable to let go. Not now, maybe never. How was it possible for a man to be so elated, yet completely consumed with guilt? Whatever happened to Aric was on his head.
To have his mate alive and healthy, he would pay whatever price the future held.
“Is everyone else okay?” he asked Kalen.
The Sorcerer nodded. “A little beat up, but healing.”
“That’s good.”
Nick walked over, his expression unreadable. “We’ll talk at the compound.” His gaze flicked to Kira. “I’m glad you’re all right.”
“Thanks to my mate.”
“Yes.” Their boss was silent for a moment. “Let’s finish our sweep, make sure there are no captives here, and get out.”
They finished their jobs, speaking very little. The others knew what he’d done, remembered more than Kira did. He could tell by the solemn stares directed his way. They’d never begrudge him his mate’s life, but they were all sick about Aric.
No captives were found, nor was there any scent of Micah or any other shifters in the lab or holding areas. The computer hard drives contained no information they could use. The entire scene that Zan and Kalen had observed, with Bowman, Chappell, Beryl, and their henchmen moving crates and equipment into this building had been a ruse. A setup from start to finish to trap them.
Weary, the team began the long trek home, made interminable by the loss of one of their own. By the time they reached the compound, dawn had broken. They dragged themselves inside and headed for their separate quarters. Jax turned to his boss and awaited his instructions, stomach churning.
“You going to give me walking papers?”
Nick sighed. “I don’t know. You two get some rest and I’ll see you in my office this afternoon.” He left them standing there, staring after him.
“Come on, handsome.” Kira tugged on his hand. “Let’s go.”
He let her lead him to their apartment, pull him inside. As they undressed, he recalled his bullet wounds and inspected them in the bathroom mirror. Just a scratch across his right butt cheek, and the wound in his bad leg was already healed. It still hurt, but he could live with it.
He had his mate.
They brushed their teeth and then he turned on the shower. He let the water get hot and then pulled her inside with him. Just held her as the spray washed away some of the terror and sadness of the past few hours.
“I couldn’t lose you,” he said hoarsely, tightening his arms around her.
“You didn’t, and you won’t have to.”
His cock filled to press against her belly. He’d almost lost her, and both the man and the wolf needed to reaffirm their connection. Reclaim their mate.
Nuzzling her, he kissed his way to her nipples, licked at the droplets streaming over them. He suckled them until she squirmed, tugging at his wet hair. He straightened and a small hand found his sac, fingers manipulating him. Driving him insane.
“I can’t wait, baby. I need to be inside you.”
“Then don’t wait,” she urged breathlessly. “Fuck me.”
Holding her around the waist, he lifted her and pinned her back against the tile. “Hang on.”
She clung to his shoulders, legs going around his middle, and he positioned the head of his throbbing length to her opening. Pushed slowly inside and impaled her, inch by inch.
“Oh, God! That’s so good,” she praised. “More.”
He gave her all of him, supporting her with his hands cupped under her bottom. Began to thrust, loving the feel of her slick heat massaging his cock. Again and again he drove into her, knowing this wouldn’t last long.
When she shuddered around him, crying out, he went over the edge. Pumped himself deep inside, giving her all of him. This was where he belonged.
“I love you, Kira.”
“I love you, too. So much.”
He drew back to see tears in her eyes, and wiped them away. “Don’t cry, angel.” Carefully, he pulled out and set her down.
“I can’t help it. You saved me, and now Aric—”
“Shhh. I wouldn’t change what I did even if I could. We’ll find him. In the meantime we’ll move forward and live all those perfect moments, just like we planned.”
“And the not so perfect ones.”
“Those, too.” Drying them both off, he carried her straight to bed and held her close.
“Hey, I just realized I lost the bet,” she said, voice drowsy.
“What bet?”
“I didn’t get Raven or Belial rehabbed within the month. Now I have to wash the whole team’s dirty laundry.”
She sounded so mournful, he chuckled. “I never told the others about that, you know. I think we can let it slide.”
“Yeah?”
“Absolutely. Sleep, baby.”
She drifted off, but slumber eluded him. Instead, he simply enjoyed her warm body tucked into his. Cherished the fact that she was here, whole and healthy. He wouldn’t waste this second chance. He owed that to her.
And to Aric.
Nick was waiting when Jax walked into his office several hours later.
“Take a seat.”
He did, certain the ax was about to fall. “I’ll have my stuff cleared out and Kira and I will be gone by tonight.”
His boss arched a brow. “Just like that?”
“Yes. It’s what I deserve.”
“Really? You think you deserve to run from the consequences of your actions? You think your team deserves to have you desert them just when they need you the most?”
Jax sat back, stunned. “Well, no. But I don’t understand how you can go easy on me after I chose Kira over one of my own brothers.”
“Is that what you think? That I’m going easy?” Nick smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “No, Jax. You’ll stay here and do your part on this team. You’ll help us win the war against Chappell and find out who’s backing him. And you’ll help us locate Aric, Micah, and anyone else they’ve gotten their dirty hands on, and bring them home. That’s your mission. Is that understood?”
He swallowed hard. “Yes, sir. I won’t let any of you down again.”
“You didn’t let us down with your choice to save your mate,” Nick said softly. “Everyone understands, even me. Especially me. But actions have consequences, sometimes far-reaching ones.”
“Have I completely screwed up the future, put us in even more danger?” He dreaded the answer. But it wasn’t what he expected.
“No man should be cursed with knowing what the future will bring, or how the endless array of choices made every second affects the possible outcomes. Those choices are like balls striking one another on a pool table—you know?”
“I—I think so.”
“Each choice affects another. A single deed or whispered word can topple an empire . . . Or save a loved one. All we can do is weigh the risks and rewards, and move on. That’s all any man can do, and for all your abilities, you’re still a man at heart. Nothing more.”
His words humbled Jax. He hung his head for a moment, thinking. Then he looked at his boss, and friend. “I can’t help but feel like we failed.”
“No,” he said firmly. “We learned what Chappell and his partners are up to, and we learned Beryl is alive and is one of them. We rescued two shifters and we’re going to liberate more, including our own. We’re on the trail of our enemies, and we’re going to win.”
“If we make the right moves.”
“Of course.”
Jax knew Nick wouldn’t reveal more. He stood, offered his hand, which his boss shook. “I won’t let you down,” he repeated. “Or my team.”