“As far as the investigation into the circumstances of last night, some new revelations have come to light, and I am here to put you on fucking notice.” His mouth curled, almost like a disgusted sneer. “I knew there was something up when I saw Pfc. Bennett by your office door a couple of days ago, but I didn’t follow through. Shame on me.”

His jaw hitched, clenching his teeth his teeth in the process. “So I am going to ask you one fucking time, and one fucking time only. Is there anything you want to go ahead and tell me before I blow this shit out of the water?”

I sat stoic, trying to remain calm and level headed. There was no way I wanted to sit here and admit to First Sergeant that I had committed the ultimate sin as an instructor, but the longer he stared at me…into me… into my soul, I felt compelled to give him what he wanted.

A flash of clarity swept through me, putting Cassie back in the forefront and remembering that unleashing all of my indiscretions would put her on the chopping block, and her well-being meant more to me than my own. So rather than allow him to force a confession out of me, I stuck to my original game plan, even though he was making me sweat with whatever it was he already knew.

He stared at me, his face growing more rigid by the second and fixing into a tight scowl. He finally made a move, wiping his mouth before speaking again.

“You want to play hard ass, Cruz? Go right ahead, but after digging, and speaking to those around you both, your fucking secret is out in the open, and I am going to drag your ass down as far as I can take you.”

His voice went lower, mixed with a deadly concoction of disgust and malice. “You’re a motherfucking predator, using your position of authority to prey on students. I’m going to make a fucking example out of you, and when I’m done you’ll wish you had exercised a little more restraint with your extra-curricular activities.”

He sat red-faced, glaring at me.

My heart was beating so fast I thought it might explode. As badly as I wanted to play it off, I knew what the aftermath would be, and as much as I had prepared myself for it, I hadn’t prepared myself enough. Sweat began coating my brow, my hands, my entire body.  My breathing labored, crushing my chest as I tried to hold it in. He was looking for a moment of weakness and, even though it was oozing through me, I wasn’t about to give it to him.

My ego had taken a beaten while my nerves were being severed by the sharp tongue lashing insults at me. A predator I was not, but how was I going to plead my case with him? I wasn’t sure exactly what he had on me, but from where I was standing, he had enough. Now, I just had to keep calm and make him do the excess legwork to actually prove all of it.

I prayed he wouldn’t be able to do it.

I hadn’t heard him say anything about punishing Cassie, so I sat still, giving nothing away in expression, further pissing him off.

“You’ve got nothing to fucking say for yourself, Devil Dog?”

 My silence had sent him tumbling over the edge. He was shouting, and the veins bulging out of his neck looked like they would burst and spew anger all over me. He slammed both of his hands down on the desk, leaning over and bringing his face inches from mine.

“You were our goddamned NCO of the Quarter, our most highly respected instructor, and a leader for your peers. You’ve turned into nothing more than another fucking idiot who can’t keep his fucking dick in his pants. I’m going to take this shit as far as I can take it, hopefully setting up your court martial right alongside Allen’s. You’re two peas in the same motherfucking pod.”

That comment hit at my psyche, causing my anger to flare up.

“With all due respect, First Sergeant, I am nothing like Allen. I don’t prey on those weaker than me.” If I had lost my right mind, I would have gone off on his ass for the comparison, but he was still my superior and I was still expected to show him respect.

So I showed it, in the least amount possible.

My response must have set him off because he took his big, burly hands and grabbed me by the collar of my t-shirt, pulling my face up to his where our noses were touching. The hot, foul breath intruding my senses made me want to pull away, but I couldn’t. He had me strong and tight, strengthening his grip as he began to speak.

“You listen to me, and you god damn listen well. We are not here to fuck our students, we are here to teach them. What happened to your integrity as a Marine? What happened to your belief in the eagle, globe, and anchor? You set the precedent as lead instructor, and the rest of them are watching you, thinking they can get away with shit like you have.”

Spit was flying from his mouth, hitting my face like a rain shower. I tried hard to hold strong… to not blink… to not give any piece of satisfaction.

 “It’s too bad Pfc. Bennett was attacked because you almost got away with this shit. You hide in the shadows, pretending to be something you are not. Well let me tell you something, Sergeant. You won’t be hearing that title before your name when I get through with you. You won’t be seeing that promotion you’re in line for either. You are a disgrace to me, this unit, and the rest of the fucking Marine Corps. You’re as sloppy as a fucking civilian, and in my eyes, beneath one. Now get the fuck out of my office before I go ape shit on your ass and become unprofessional.”

He let me go, forcefully pushing me away as he did so. He was fire breathing mad, an anger that I had never seen on his face before. My insides were a blended mess. He had me, almost, if not completely. His job was to find concrete evidence to make his claims stick, and I sat there, giving nothing away even though the overwhelming desire to want to spew it all over his desk, like vomit from deep down inside of me was banging on the door—begging to be let out.

While, on the outside, I was calm and collected, my insides were on full panic mode. My throat felt like a spike strip had been yanked up and down, drawing blood and leaving me with the inability to swallow, even though saliva was beginning to build up like a flood.

“I am glad to still find honesty and integrity amongst those around you—that you haven’t tainted them with your affair.” He took a long, deep breath, rubbing his hand down his face. His eyes went into that dark, sinister form that I was becoming well acquainted with before speaking again.

“This shit makes me look bad, and when I look bad, I’m going to make you look worse, you understand that?”

“Yes, First Sergeant,” I replied, looking straight ahead, not giving him any sort of satisfaction.

He studied me for a minute, then looked back down to his notepad.

“Get the fuck out of my office, Marine,” he growled, sitting back down in his chair.

“Yes, First Sergeant,” I replied, showing no signs of weakness where he was concerned. I still hadn’t heard anything about Cassie, so as far as I was concerned, I was leaving pretty much the same way that I went in, only I needed to gather myself and put my insides back together. He had fucking fried them, and now he had me worried about who in our circles went further than necessary and spilled everything. No longer was I worried—I was angry.

 Completely fucking angry.

I walked out of his office, sweating a bit but thankful that I was waiting on news that would destroy Cassie, but never came. I rushed off to my truck, headed back to the base hospital, ready to spend the remaining days with Cassie until the hammer would come down hard and heavy over my head. It would be a miracle if he didn’t come after me with a rope to string me from a fucking tree by my balls.

One thing in particular stood out from First Sergeant’s ass chewing, and that was the fact the he mentioned a couple of times that the people closest to us were willing to talk. It had put me on high alert. Not because I was afraid of whatever they had to say—it seemed Cassie and I were out in the open—but because I had to question their loyalty. And loyalty meant too fucking much to me to let this shit slip through the cracks.