‘And then tonight,’ I said, bending down and giving the evil eye to Malik in the rolled-up carpet under my bed, ‘I’m going back to Sucker Town and find out what’s going on with Fyodor, Mad Max, Darius and my blood, and what they all have to do with the curse, and you are notgoing to stop me.’

Chapter Thirty-One

Sylvia turned up with breakfast. Only she wasn’t alone.

Johnny Depp was with her.

My mouth dropped open.

‘Ta da!’ She spread her arms wide. ‘Look who I found.’

Johnny Depp was with her!And he was dressed in his Captain Jack Sparrow pirate costume!

‘Hello, luv.’ He chucked me under the chin and made a high clicking noise. ‘How’s your ship sailing?’

I narrowed my eyes. That clicking was familiar. Damn, he wasn’t Johnny Depp but Fishface, a naiad—and the clicking was just him laughing.

‘Don’t tell me,’ I said, trying to remember his real name, ‘you’re here to court me.’

‘Got it in one, luv.’ He strolled in trailing the scent of ozone, and stood in the centre of my living room under my amber-and copper-beaded chandelier. He did a three-sixty as he admired the place—not that there was much to admire, but hey, he grinned and looked captivated enough that I almost wondered if he were thinking of moving in—

Half a dozen of the chandelier’s glass beads popped above him. His grinning mouth split into a yawn, his cheeks spread until thick fluted fins flared out to either side, his long pirate dreads morphed into a tall, spiny headcrest that tangled with the lower beads, and his costume disappeared, leaving him standing naked in all his scaly pale grey doubleglory.

I blinked. A six-foot-tall-in-his-webbed-clawed-feet naked naiad wasn’t the sort of sight you wanted to see before breakfast. Or brunch. Or anytime, really.

‘He really knows how to use both of them,’ Sylvia whispered in my ear. ‘He’s a virtual god once you get him between the sheets.’ She squeezed my arm. ‘Don’t mention I said so, though, his head’s big enough as it is.’ She patted my butt. ‘I love your outfit too, Genny. You look fabulous.’

‘Ri- ight,’ I said, wondering whether she’d just given me a personal recommendation, an invitation, or a ‘keep off my property’ warning.

A large folded towel appeared in Sylvia’s hand and she walked up to him and slapped it affectionately on his chest. ‘You still haven’t got the hang of Glamour yet, have you, Ricou?’ She gave me a look that said ‘he’s a lovable idiot really’, and sashayed into the kitchen area where she deposited a large takeaway bag and started unpacking it.

Ricou. Fishface’ s real name was Ricou.

Ricou gave the towel a disgruntled look—it was bright pink and decorated with white cherry-tree blossoms—then wrapped it round his waist and secured it with the end of his whip-like tail. He stuck his webbed clawed hands on his hips and looked up at the beads. The membrane flickered over the black orbs of his eyes. ‘Nice Reveal spells, luv, you get them off old Gillie on the market?’

‘No,’ I said, pushing the door closed, ‘Bernie Mittle made them.’

‘Bernie does great work, but you might want to try old Gillie next time. She’s just as good, but she’s cheaper.’

‘You should listen to him, Genny.’ Sylvia gave a rustling laugh. ‘London’s expert on Which Witch for Which Spell, he is.’

‘Thanks,’ I said, then remembered about my crackedWard and the rug-wrapped fanged occupant of my bedroom. ‘So who’s the best for good, cheap Wards?’

‘Fiddlesticks,’ Sylvia said, unpacking what looked like enough food to feed a whole forest of dryads, never mind the three of us. ‘I forgot about that. I meant to get you one when I was out. You could always use a blood-Ward for today and I’ll pick one up later. Ricky will tell you how, won’t you, babe?’

‘Sure thing, Blossom.’ He steepled his claws together and tapped his lipless mouth. ‘Blood-Wards are a tad primitive, but easy-peasy enough. Just draw a line in blood across all entrances and add your will to it. It’ll stop anyone crossing. ’Course, the real disadvantage is you have to give them a top-up before they run out, which could be anywhere from a few hours to a couple of days, so you can’t just go off and forget about them. Then there’s the physical side—there’s only so much blood and magic a body can offer up before it starts to run on empty.’ He did a wide grin-yawn of a smile. ‘But they’re handy for a quick, free fix.’

It did sound easy. ‘Okay, a couple of questions: do I have to stay inside the blood-Ward for it to work, and what about anyone else inside it; can they leave if they want to?’

‘Hmm.’ His headcrest quivered. ‘You can set the blood-Ward up so youcan walk through it without breaking it, but it’s a bit more complicated the other way. ’Course, if you do set it up so’s they can walk out, then it’ll break when they cross it.’

‘That’s great, thanks,’ I said. It would work. I could leave, Malik would be protected, and when he woke up at sunset, or whenever, he could walk out … or I could trap him— which had its own possibilities.

‘Told you he was the best, didn’t I?’ Sylvia beamed proudly.

I got the subtext as I looked from one to the other: Sylvia pretending to be Carefree Caterer and Ricou doing his impression of Professor of Spells. To be honest, it was hard to miss: they had a thing going on, and Sylvia had very definitely been warning me off. Which made me wonder what the hell the pair of them were doing here supposedly courting me?

‘Look,’ I said, ‘nice as this little breakfast club is, I’ve got places to go, people to meet’— and no way do I want to play gooseberry—‘so you’ll both have to amuse yourselves without me today.’

‘Gosh, don’t worry about us, Genny. We’re both happy to do whatever.’

‘Yeah, luv.’ Ricou thumped his clawed fist proudly on his chest. ‘Ricou here will be honoured to escort you two ladies on the town.’

‘Now then, breakfast is served,’ Sylvia said brightly. ‘We’ve got some more blood’—she tapped a couple of the large cups—‘and pancakes with extra maple syrup—they’re mine, but I’m happy to share; a couple of bacon butties, because the waitress said they were your favourite, and some sashimi tuna and whole sardines for the waterbaby there.’ She waved at the half-dozen other cups and containers. ‘We also have coffee, tea, orange juice, custard doughnuts and a selection of vegetable crudities.’

I eyed the carrot and celery sticks sitting neatly alongside the broccoli and cauliflower florets, all complete with a sprinkling of sesame seed . Eew!That was the sort of rabbit food only Finn ate. And thinking of him … why hadn’t he returned my text?I left the raw stuff and picked up one of the bacon butties.

‘You can drop the act,’ I said, waving it to indicate the two of them, ‘and you can tell me what you’re doing courting me.’ I took a bite.

Ricou’s membranes flickered over his eyes nervously. Sylvia’s dress quivered, and a lone white petal fell to land next to her silver-sandalled feet.

‘Well,’ I said, after I’d swallowed, ‘who wants to go first?’

‘Ricou here won you in a poker game.’ He flexed his head-crest to free it from the beads, making them jangle. ‘Told you that, the last time we met, luv.’ He wandered over to the kitchen, snagged a sardine and threw it in the air, snapping his jaws with a loud smacking noise as he caught it.

‘He means he fixed it so he won.’ Sylvia dribbled the sickly syrup in a criss-cross pattern over her pancakes.

‘She’s a harsh one,’ Ricou said to his next sardine. ‘At least Ricou’s name was on the list.’

I choked on a mouthful of bacon butty. There was a list?

Sylvia absently thumped me on the back. ‘Gosh, but then Ricou here didn’t remove his name, did he?’

‘Ricou was told not to by the Lady Meriel, wasn’t he?’ He snapped at another sardine.