We might find out where the Kandrona is."

Marco laughed. "That's more like the Rachel I know. You were starting to worry me there.

You were sounding so sensible."

"How big is a Kandrona?" Jake wondered. "It would depend on how many pools it had to support. It might be as large as Cassie's barn. It might be the size of one of your human cars."

"The size of a car? Surely a bunch of all-American kids like us could manage to wreck a car," Marco joked.

"How much would it hurt the Yeerks?" I asked. "That's the question. Is it worth running the risk of going down there again? Down to the Yeerk pool?"

We all looked at Ax.

"It would depend. If they have a spare Kandrona, it wouldn't hurt them very much. In any case, they have one aboard their mother ship, so we would not wipe them out entirely. " We all sagged with disappointment.

13 "However, it would not be practical for the Yeerks to shuttle their human-Controllers back and forth to the mother ship to keep them alive. "

"So what would they do?" Marco wondered. "How would Visser Three react?"

"Visser Three is totally ruthless," I said. "He would save as many as he could. But he'd have to let the rest die."

"Yes." Ax agreed.

"It would be a very serious blow. They would survive, but they would be weakened. "

"We'd have to find this Kandrona thing first," Cassie reminded everyone. "And wherever it is, it will be guarded."

Right then I guess we all realized we were going to do it. We were going back to the Yeerk pool.

Jake shook his head slowly. "Down to the Yeerk pool again. I still have nightmares about the first time."

"Yeah," Marco agreed. "Done that."

"The Yeerk pool," Cassie said grimly, and looked away.

I didn't say anything. I don't like talking about nightmares. But I'd had them, too. They were pretty bad.

"I am not very good at understanding human emotions." Ax said. "But you all seem afraid.

And your fear is beginning to scare me."

"Good," I said. "I don't know if you Andalites believe in places like heaven and hell. But let me just tell you - the Yeerk pool is definitely not heaven."

14 Chapter 5

"What's for dinner?" I asked my mom as soon as I got home. The walk in the woods had made me hungry. Being outdoors always does that to me.

So does fear. I just kept picturing the Yeerk pool. The cages full of involuntary hosts, humans and Hork-Bajir, temporarily free of their Yeerk parasites. I kept hearing them. Crying - that's what most of them did while they waited to be reinfested. Others screamed. Some begged for mercy.

Or worse.

My mom was standing by the kitchen counter. She was more dressed up than she usually was in the evening. She was munching nervously on some Doritos and kind of staring off into space.

"Mom? Hello?"

She looked like she hadn't noticed me. "Oh, hi, honey."

"What's for dinner? I'm starving."

"Your father is coming over tonight. For dinner. He said he would pick something up."

I felt my stomach clench. Something was wrong.

Since the divorce, my dad never came over for dinner. My two sisters and I spent one weekend a month overnight at his apartment in the city. Plus the every-other-weekend outing.

But he did not come over for dinner.

I wasn't hungry anymore. "What's going on?"

I demanded.

My mother got this worried look on her face, which she tried to hide. "Your father has something he wants to tell you girls. He was supposed to tell you the other night at the circus.

I guess he forgot."

The way she said "I guess he forgot" made it clear she didn't think that was the truth.

I took my mother's arm. "Mom? I don't like suspense, all right? So just - "

The doorbell rang.

I heard Sara running down the stairs. I heard Jordan yell, "Stop running on the stairs, you'll break your neck." She sounded just like my mother. It almost made my mom and me smile.

"That will be your father."

15 I went to the front room. Sara was leaping into my dad's arms and Jordan was hovering a couple feet away. Jordan shot a quick, questioning glance at me. Unlike Sara, Jordan was old enough to realize something was up.

I shrugged and shook my head.

"Rachel!" my dad said. "How's my girl? Come take this bag from me. Thai food. We have curry. We have pad Thai. We have chicken satay. We have those imperial heavenly whatever-they-call-em shrimp."

He handed me the paper bag. He was being too cheerful.

My father's a reporter for one of the local TV channels. He does a lot of investigative journalism. Plus he anchors the news on Saturday and Sunday. So he's always wearing nice clothes, and always has great hair, and he looks tan even in the total depths of winter.

I took the bag to the dining-room table and started to unpack the little white boxes of Thai food.

"Hello, Dan," my mother said, coming into the room with plates and silverware.

"Naomi," he answered. "How have you been?" By now even Sara had figured out that this was not going to be a happy evening.

We ate a little and struggled along with some small talk about nothing. Until finally my mom said, "Dan, just get it over with."

My dad looked embarrassed. He sent me a sheepish smile, like some little boy caught doing something wrong.

"Okay," he said. He cleared his throat. He sat up straight in his chair. Just as if he were waiting for the cameras to come on so he could do the evening news.

"Kids, I have something I have to tell you about. I've been offered a job. A better job. I wouldn't just be the weekend anchor. I would have the top spot. I'd be anchoring the six o'clock broadcast and the eleven o'clock. And I'd get to do specials. Maybe do some really important work."

Jordan looked at me, confused. It sounded like good news.

"There's just one problem," my father said. "It's not here in town. In fact, it would mean I would have to move."

"Where to?" Sara asked. "To another apartment?"

He forced a smile. "To another city, sweetie. In another state."

"A thousand miles away," my mother said.

16 You know, it's funny how the mind works. See, I've been through more bad things, more terror, more worry, more pain since I became an Animorph than most people deal with in a lifetime. I would have thought I could handle some thing like my dad moving away. A thousand miles away.

"Congratulations," I said, trying not to show any emotion. "It's what you've always wanted."

My dad wasn't fooled. He knew I was upset.

"It's the job, Rachel. It's the way it is. It's not like I won't see you kids. I know it sounds like a long way and all, but that's why we have jets, right?"

"Yeah," I said. "That's why we have jets. I think I'll just go upstairs and do some homework now."

"Wait, I need to ..." my dad protested.

I didn't slam any doors. I didn't throw any thing.

I just left.

Let him feel what it's like, I told myself. Let him feel what it's like to have someone just walk away.

I went up to my room and locked the door behind me. I couldn't breathe. I kept clenching my fists and wanting to pound something. I think I would have cried, but I was just too angry.

"Rachel?" It was him. He knocked lightly on my door. "Can I come in?" I couldn't say no. It would have sounded like I was upset. "Sure. Why not?"