"And I plan to stay that way."

The bell rang, signaling the next class.

"Okay," I said. "Tomorrow. We'll need to think of some way to get inside that hospital, though.

They'll really be on the lookout."

"Actually, Cassie already suggested some thing to me," Marco said.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, man. You know, I like Cassie. But this is the girl who suggested we try an ant morph."

Marco started to head into the gym. I headed toward class.

"Not ants," he said over his shoulder.

"I don't even want to know."

"Think dog poop."

"What?" I demanded. But by then he was through the door and gone.

40 Chapter 10

Something nice, but for fifteen bucks or less," I said. "My dad's birthday is in two months, so I have to spread my money pretty thin."

It was after school. We had headed to the mall. Me and Cassie and Rachel. My mom's birthday was coming up. I had about fifteen dollars to buy her something, and the last time I'd bought her a present it hadn't turned out all that well.

Who would ever guess that she wouldn't appreciate a classic Spiderman #3 in almost mint condition?

Okay, so I was a year younger then. Plus, I had asked Marco to help me find something.

This time I asked Cassie if she would help me shop. Which was almost as dumb, since Cassie isn't really into clothing and cute little stuff.

So Cassie had asked Rachel to help.

"How about that store?" I asked, pointing at one that had women's clothing.

"Yeah, right. Good choice, as long as you have at least a hundred dollars to spend," Rachel said.

"Okay. How about ..." Cassie began.

"Uh-uh. Cassie, think about it," Rachel said, looking slightly perturbed by our stupidity. "Look at the name of the store. It might as well scream 'fat, middle-aged ladies.' Jake? Do you want to tell your mom you think she's fat?"

"No." I shook my head vigorously. But then I thought it might be a trick question. "I mean, I don't, do I?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "No, you don't. Duh. Have you two ever shopped for anything? I feel like I'm dealing with Ax here. I mean, are you two from this planet? We're looking for something on sale. Something that says 'Mom, I still think of you as being young and cool.' Something classic, understated. Most likely, we're talking a department store." She pointed. "That department store.

Second floor. Toward the front, on the right. That's where we want to be. Look for sale signs.

They'll be red with black letters."

Cassie grinned at me. "See? Rachel owns this mall."

"Shopping and kicking butt. Rachel's specialties," I said affectionately.

We cruised the department store and in about ten minutes, Rachel had found a silk blouse.

"It was thirty-three dollars originally," Rachel crowed. "Thirty-three, marked down to twenty-five. Then, a thirty percent discount for this one- day sale. We got it for seventeen fifty! Do you 41 realize that's almost half off the original price? Seventeen and a half bucks! For that blouse! Yes!

She shops, she scores!"

"Yeah, but I was only going to spend fifteen," I said meekly.

"You didn't spend too much. Don't you know anything? You saved fifteen dollars and fifty cents.

You came out ahead by more than fifteen bucks!"

"Wait a minute. How did I save, if I spent?"

Cassie put her hand on my arm. "No. Don't ask. Rachel uses a whole twisted math involved in shopping. Don't even try and understand it."

Rachel ignored Cassie's teasing. "Hey. While you pay, I have to go check something in Juniors.

Meet you at the food court."

Rachel peeled off, leaving me and Cassie alone in the racks of clothing.

"So when are you going to tell me your idea?" I asked.

"I thought Marco already told you."

I shook my head. "Nope. He just said 'think dog poop.' I did. I got a very bad feeling as a result."

Cassie looked a little pouty. "Look, it was the only animal I could think of that could get in and out of a hospital without getting stepped on or poisoned. We wouldn't even be seen, probably. I mean, they go everywhere. Who even notices them?"

"Cassie, so far I have done three insects. Flea, that was okay. Ant, that was definitely not okay.

And roach. I'm starting to feel jealous of Tobias. I mean, he's stuck as a hawk, but at least he doesn't have to go around turning into bugs."

"Do you have a better idea, Jake? Because I respect your feelings. I was just trying to help. It's just a suggestion."

I drew a deep breath. "No, I don't have any great suggestions. I'm just ... I mean . . . it's just, whatever happened to the good old days when we would be tigers or wolves or something fun? I don't want to be a fly. I saw that movie. The Fly. Both versions. The old one, and the new one with Jeff Goldblum. I mean, a fly? A fly?"

"The movie. I forgot that movie," Cassie said.

She made a face. "The one where the guy has a tiny little human head stuck on a fly body and he's trapped in a spiderweb and he's going 'h-e-e-e-l-p m-e-e-e' in this little tiny voice? And that guy is so grossed out he just crushes him?"

We both just stood there, looking kind of sick.

42 "Moths?" Cassie suggested.

"Too slow," I said. "And too big. They would spot us."

"Okay ... um ... bees?"

"No way. No social insects ever again. Bees could be as bad as ants that way. No social in sects.

No hives. No colonies." I shuddered at the memory of the ant morph. It had been like dying. The ant had no individual self. It was just a part of a bigger machine.

"Flies aren't social," Cassie said.

"Can I help you?" a saleswoman asked.

"No," Cassie said. "Thanks, anyway."

We started walking, heading to the food court to hook up with Rachel.

"It would just be to get into the hospital," I said, thinking out loud. "If they are using the hospital to transfer Yeerks into hosts, it will mean they have some kind of a Yeerk pool in there. That's what we are after. Find that Yeerk pool, wipe it out."

"So we would just be in fly morph for a brief time," Cassie said. "I mean, if we decided to do it.

We'd have to demorph to do any damage."

"And then, if we create enough confusion, we can escape in some other way. We wouldn't have to do flies again."

"True," Cassie agreed. "We'd probably only be in the fly morph for a few minutes."

"Yep."

"So it's flies," Cassie said.

"Yep."

Then, both of us, at the same time, said "H-e-e-e-l-p m-e-e-e! H-e-e-e-l-p m-e-e-e!"

43 Chapter 11

Here's the thing about flies.

Being a fly is fun. It really is.

Turning into a fly ... that is a whole different story.

I guess it's no big secret that I kind of like Cassie. I think she's really pretty. But when I saw these two huge, glittering, bulging, compound eyes come popping out of her eye sockets, I screamed.

I mean, I screamed like a baby.

"Yaaaaahhh!"

"Great, Jake. That's going to make her feel good," Marco said.

"Marco, you have your eyes closed," I pointed out.

"And they're staying closed, too."

"Excuse me," Rachel said. She raced for the door of the barn and ran outside. A few seconds later we heard the sound of barfing.