CHAPTER SEVEN

That night before he went to sleep Declan asked them to put another bed in his room; Larry and Paul found a camp bed upstairs which they dismantled and took downstairs and put together again beside Declan's bed. Helen came in and sat on a chair and watched them as they made it up.

'Do you want me to sleep here?' she asked Declan.

'Maybe. I don't know. Sometimes I wake and it's not easy.'

'You can call me. I'm just in the next room.'

'They'd all wake, or you'd think there was something wrong.'

'No I wouldn't. Call me if you need company. Cathal and Manus wake me all the time.'

'Do they never wake their daddy?'

'Sometimes,' she said and smiled, 'but their daddy is a great sleeper.'

'Anyway, I'm going to take a Xanax tonight, so I'll probably be all right. If I'm not, Paul or Larry can sleep here.'

'Is Mammy smothering you with attention?' Helen asked.

'She's finding it all very tough. She's jealous that I didn't want to come to her house. She brought me there today to show me where she would have me sleeping and how much space there was for my friends. No mention of you. But it won't be long before she has a room for you, too. I have a new word to describe her which I picked up from Paul.'

'What's the word?' Helen asked.

'The word is "needy",' Declan said. 'She's needy and she never was that before. I mean she's become needy over the past year or so.'

'Earlier, when we walked on the strand,' Helen said, 'she was different, she was mellow and sort of sad, and I feel she's going to embrace me and all I can do is cringe, but otherwise she's been a complete bitch to Paul and Larry.'

'Yeah, they can't get over it. But Granny is making up for it, isn't she?'

'Granny', Helen said, 'is all charm.'

Larry woke Helen in the night to say that Declan needed company. For the length of a breath she could have been twenty years younger, moving hastily from her room to his. It was just a flash, but it was real and almost perfect; she was surprised at how little the memory disturbed her, how natural the connection seemed.

She put on a pullover and went and sat by Declan's bed.

'Now I feel I've woken the whole house,' he said. 'The Xanax has worn off. There's no point in trying another.'

Larry had been sleeping on the camp bed. Now he and Declan lay on their beds, each with his hands behind his head, while Helen sat on the edge of Declan's bed. They listened to the distant roar of the sea and the moths' brittle wings against the window-pane, but they said nothing. Helen was tired and she wondered what they would say if she said that she wanted to go back to sleep.

'I'd love to have a real house to go back to – you know, a house of my own,' Declan said. 'Somewhere bright and clean.'

'Even an apartment?' Helen asked.

'Even an apartment,' he said.

'Why don't we find you one next week?' she asked.

'No, I mean that was my own, that I had painted and furnished myself.'

'But we'll do that,' Helen said. 'We'll paint it and furnish it, and it will be all bright and clean.'

'Maybe,' Declan said. 'What do you think, Larry?'

'I'm all for it,' Larry said.

Helen made tea in the kitchen and was joined by Lily, who wanted to know if everything was all right. She gave her mother a mug of tea and told her that Declan was almost asleep and it would be a mistake for her to disturb him. When Helen had drunk her tea, she felt even more sleepy.

'I'm going to bed for a while,' she said. 'Wake me if you want me. I'll drive to Dublin and rent you an apartment and furnish it and decorate it, if you want, Declan. You should think about it.'

She did not wake until nine in the morning. She wished there was a back door to the house so that she could sneak out to the car and drive to Blackwater, make her phone call and buy the paper without having to consult anyone. Instead, she would have to go into the kitchen and brave them all. It struck her for a moment how simple Hugh and Cathal and Manus were compared to these people, how settled their relationships, how easy and modest their requirements. In the kitchen now, she was sure, as she got out of bed and went on tiptoe to the bathroom, warring factions were already at work, strange demands and alliances, energies that no one could understand. Soon she would leave, she thought, if only for a day or two, and once she began to imagine a possible escape she felt satisfied, more secure in her mind.

It was Saturday now. Declan was already up, sitting in the chair beside the Aga, taking his drugs. Larry was doing the dishes, the rest of them were sitting at the kitchen table.

'I'm going into the village to get the paper,' Helen said.

'We already have the paper, thank you,' her grandmother said.

'I have to phone Hugh.'

'You phoned Hugh last night,' her mother said.

'I'm going into the village,' Helen said firmly.

'Helen always does what she sets out to do,' her grandmother said.

'I'll come with you,' Larry said, his hands covered in suds.

'No, I'm going now and on my own and I won't be long,' Helen said. She closed the kitchen door behind her.

She knew that Declan had given up his flat in Dublin, but it had not occurred to her until now that this left him at everyone's mercy. Surely they could rent him a comfortable apartment somewhere in Dublin with a garden and large windows. She knew that it would be better if her mother thought of this and did all the organisation. When she went back, she would try to plant the idea in her mother's mind.

Hugh was still in bed when she rang, but the boys were up; she asked Hugh's mother if she could talk to them.

Cathal came first to the phone.

'How are you?' she asked.

'Fine,' he said quietly.

'You were in bed early last night,' she said.

'I think so.'

'Are you having a good time?'

'Yes.' He sounded subdued.

'Is your bed comfortable?' she asked.

'Yes.'

'I'll be up soon, so you'll be able to show me all the sights.'

'Do you want to talk to Manus? He's trying to grab the phone,' Cathal said.

'OK, and tell your father I rang.'

Manus came on the phone. 'We're going fishing,' he said.

'For what?' she asked.

'For all morning,' he replied.

'Is your daddy asleep?' she asked.

'He's not coming. Uncle Joe is coming.'

'Have you got a fishing rod?'

'We're allowed to use the ones here. But we have to go now.'

'You sound very busy,' she said.

'Will you ring again later?' he asked. He was trying to sound like an adult.

'Yes, I will.' She laughed. 'I'll ring again later.'

Manus put down the phone.

Helen bought the paper and sat in the car on the bridge reading the headlines, turning the pages. She looked through the section Apartments to Let, and realised that her mother would relish this work, dealing with landlords and leases.

Lily was in the lane when she returned. On seeing Helen she waved, as if to flag her down. Helen let the car roll down the hill towards her.

'Declan's gone blind in one eye,' her mother said.

Helen parked the car and went with her mother into the house. Declan was sitting exactly where he had been in the kitchen.

'What happened?' Helen asked.

'I felt over the past while that I was losing the sight in it, and now it's gone. It was always going to go, but the other one's fine, the other one's taken care of. I've explained it all.'

'Helen, tell him we should call the doctor,' her mother said.

'Declan, we should call the doctor,' Helen said.