I neglected my wife, risked my marriage, nearly left my children fatherless for what I believed was the pursuit of justice. Instead of justice, I got the truth, and it was a poor substitute. Now I don’t know what I was looking for. I feel like I failed them all, like I failed myself. I saved no one. And yet, I’m going to be decorated for bravery, labeled a hero, given a promotion if I want it. Maybe there is no justice.

But there are other things. I look around and see all I have to be grateful for. I’m surrounded by family. My wife loves me, has her arms around me. Our babies are growing inside her.

I look up at her. It hurts, but I force a smile. “Merry Christmas Kate.”

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Through their support, comments and criticisms, many people have contributed to my writing, and they all have my heartfelt gratitude. Four people, however, have devoted hundreds of hours of their time, energy and skills to my development as a writer over the years: two literary critics from the University of Helsinki, Dr. Nely Keinänen and Dr. Phillips Brooks; the gifted writer Joel Kuntonen; and the brilliant reader Juha Tupasela.

Thank you. Your generosity touches and humbles me, and this novel is dedicated to you.

James Thompson