10 Operation Checkmate

'Hello?'

'Hello.'

'Is this the residence of the Home Secretary?'

'Yes.'

'Is he there? Home Minister Jagannath Rai will speak to him.'

'One second, Sir. I will pass the line to Home Secretary Sahib.'

(Music.)

'Hello. Baglay speaking.'

'One second, Sir. Minister Sahib will come on the line.' Beep. Beep. Beep.

'Hello. Gopal?'

'Good afternoon, Sir. I am sorry, Sir, I couldn't call you in the morning. My fax wasn't working. But now I have the data. Since yesterday we have had seven cases of murder. Two dacoities have been reported from Hardoi and Moradabad. There have been four rape cases in Azamgarh, Bahra-'

'I am not interested in your daily crime report, Gopal. I am calling you about something much more important. Tell me, have you heard of an American film called Donchi?'

'Donchi?'

'Maybe Vinchi… Vinchiko?'

'Do you mean The Da Vinci Code, Sir?'

'Yes, yes. That is the film. Have you seen it?'

'Yes, Sir. It's rather good.'

'I want you to immediately ban this film in Uttar Pradesh.'

'Ban it? But, Sir, this film is quite old. It has already completed its run.'

'Doesn't matter. Just ban it. I am told that it has offended the Christian community in the State. It makes all kinds of wild allegations, like Jesus was having an affair with some prostitute. How can we allow such films to be screened?'

'Don't you think you should see the film, Sir, before we ban it?'

'Since when has it become necessary to watch a film before banning it? Don't we ban books all the time without reading them?'

'But Sir, there are other issues, such as freedom of speech. Article 19 of the Constitution-'

'The Constitution be damned, Gopal. Hardly anybody reads in this State. Who has time to read the Constitution? Have you read the full Constitution?'

'Er… No, Sir. May I ask, Sir, who mentioned this film to you?'

'It was Father Sebastian. He is a good man. I like Christians. They are such nice, docile people. Always dressed immaculately and they speak such wonderful English. He told me that if I ban the film our party will get some Christian votes in the local elections. That can do us no harm. But I don't want to lose other votes into the bargain. So tell me, if we ban this film will the Hindus in the State be unhappy?'

'I don't think so, Sir.'

'Will the Muslims be unhappy?'

'Unlikely, Sir.'

'Will the Sikhs be unhappy?'

'No, Sir.'

'Then there is no problem at all. Just ban the wretched film. It is my order.'

'As you say, Sir. I will have the gazette notification issued today.'

'And Gopal?'

'Yes, Sir.'

'I believe you have still not carried out my instructions regarding that Superintendent of Police Navneet Brar. As long as I am the Home Minister he is not to be given any medals or awards.'

'Sir, I wanted to discuss this with you. Navneet Brar is a very meritorious officer. He has single-handedly liquidated two major Naxalite outfits operating on the India-Nepal border. If we remove his name from the State Republic Day Gallantry Award winners, it might demoralize the police force and-'

'Gopal… Gopal… Who is the Minister, you or me?'

'You, of course, Sir.'

'And who gives the orders, you or me?'

'You, Sir.'

'Then carry out my order this very minute. Otherwise from tomorrow you will not be Home Secretary but Secretary of the Child Welfare Council. Understood?'

'Yes, Sir.'

'Good morning, Bhaiyyaji, this is Alok Agarwal speaking.'

'Good morning. It is my great fortune that a big industrialist like you deigns to remember me once every three to four months.'

'Please don't embarrass me, Sir. I always try to keep in touch with you, but what can I do? Work is such that I have to visit my international associates quite frequently. I got back from Japan just last night.'

'Arrey, you businessmen are always jet-setting around the globe. Japan today, America tomorrow. And people like me, we just sit and rot here in this State.'

'Don't say that, Bhaiyyaji. You are doing so much for the welfare of the people of Uttar Pradesh. I have been following your campaign for the local elections. You seem to be drawing huge crowds everywhere.'

'I am glad you recognize this. The newspapers are always criticizing me. I have now stopped reading them.'

'You cannot say the same about our TV channel Mashaal. I have personally given instructions that it must cover all your rallies.'

'Yes, yes. Mashaal has been doing a terrific job. True to its name, it is a torch. The torch of truth. And you have got a perfect reporter. What's her name, Seema?'

'Seema Bisht? Yes. Seema is quite good. She narrowly missed the Reporter of the Year award.'

'I am sure she deserved it more than anyone else. She is really very pretty. And so fair. Why don't you ask her to interview me one of these days? Just a – what you people say in English – one-to-one.'

'Certainly, Bhaiyyaji. I will ask Seema to make an appointment with your office.'

'That will be nice. But don't involve my office. Tell her to call me directly on my mobile. Now what can I do for you?'

'Well, Bhaiyyaji, you know we have put in a bid for the second power plant near Dadri.'

'Yes. You mentioned it to me last time we spoke. But you know that you are competing with Tatas and Ambanis. And Singhania of the JP Group is there too.'

'I know, Bhaiyyaji, and that is why I need you. You promised me the first power plant in Rewa. I thought we had a deal, but the contract went to the JP Group.'

'Yes. Mohan Kumar, the former Chief Secretary, tried his best, but the Chief Minister double-crossed us at the last minute. Everyone knows he is in Singhania's pocket. Now Mohan Kumar has retired, so we have to fight that much harder to keep your competitors out.'

'But I hear on the grapevine that Singhania is already acting as if he has got the plant. If this contract also goes to the JP Group I might pull out from Uttar Pradesh completely. '

'Arrey, do you think this State is the Chief Minister's fiefdom? He cannot award contracts only to his people. We all have to have an equal share in the spoils. Don't worry, this contract will definitely go to you, on the same terms as we had finalized for the first plant. Agreed?'

'Agreed, Bhaiyyaji. So can I go ahead and tell my international partners to start preparing for the shipment of the machinery?'

'Yes, yes. No problem. Just don't forget about Seema, OK?'

'Not at all, Bhaiyyaji. She will meet you. This week – I will see to it.'

'OK.'

'Hello. This is Rukhsana Afsar. Can I speak to the Home Minister?'

'Jagannathji is not at home. He is out addressing an election meeting in Gopiganj. Today is the last day of campaigning for the local elections.'

'Who are you?'

'I am his Private Secretary.'

'Jagannathji is not answering his mobile either. What is wrong? He has not taken my call once in the last two weeks.'

'Madam, don't you know that Bhaiyyaji changes girlfriends faster than you change your hairstyle? (Laughs.) You should have got the hint by now… Hello?… Hello?' (Disconnect.)

'Dad?'

'Yes, Vicky? You sound worried.'

'I received a letter in the post today. It is from the Maoist Revolutionary Centre, a Naxalite outfit, threatening to kill me if I proceed with the Special Economic Zone project in Jharkhand.'

(Laughs.) 'And you have started shitting in your pants? Arrey, never forget that you are the son of Jagannath Rai, the most feared name in all of Uttar Pradesh.'