I stopped at the arch near where the light had come from and peeked in. Mina stood there in front of The Scream, the lone figure in it looking horrified that it was being stolen for the umpteenth time. Jane finished unfolding a painting-shaped soft case from the bag she had brought with her. She then pulled out pieces of an adjustable frame and started assembling them.

“You want to speed this up?” I whispered.

Mina jumped.

“What are you doing up here?” she said. “I thought you were going to take care of your friends.”

I shook my head.

“Apparently, they’re not my friends; they’re yours.”

“What?” She stopped what she was doing and turned to me.

“Seems like I’m not the only one around here with major secrets. You been pissing off the wrong people, Mina?”

She wouldn’t respond, and turned back to her now-assembled frame, which was roughly the size of The Scream. “Shit.”

“You didn’t just figure out I had psychometry all on your own, did you?” I said. Mina remained silent. “Because normal people don’t have zombies coming after them, do they, Mina? You want to explain just what it is that you’re into here?”

“Nope,” she said, and continued working. She started attaching tiny blocks of weight to the interior of the frame she had just assembled.

Low moans came from one of the other rooms. The zombies were no longer downstairs. Contrary to popular culture, zombies weren’t stair-challenged.

“Fine,” I said. “It’s not going to matter once they shamble their way over here.”

“Quiet. I’ve got to counterweight this for the switch out,” Mina said. “I’m going with forty-five pounds, more or less.”

“Are you even listening to me?” I hissed. “They’re coming.”

Mina looked at me, her eyes calm and her voice evening out.

“So deal with it,” she said. “Listen, this next part has got to be pretty precise, and if they ruin it for me, we’re both going to get caught.”

I turned away from her and stormed off toward the zombies. I was going to have to be creative if I was going to stall or beat down an entire pack by myself without disturbing any of the art or setting off alarms. I prayed that some of my new training with the Fraternal Order of Goodness would be of use.

The zombies had all but ignored me before, but I was pretty sure that if I stood between them and their target, they’d try to rip me apart. Still, I couldn’t just wait for it. I’d have to dodge them and play to the fact that I was faster, despite being outnumbered. Stalling them until I could thin their numbers was my best chance for survival.

I backed myself just to the left of the arch leading into the room that Mina and I occupied. I could make a stand against the first few before they tried to converge on Mina. I counted heads. Six of them, one sans fingers. All of them had made it up the stairs. Damn.

Given the width of the opening into the room, only two could force their way in at the same time, and I came down hard and fast on both of their heads with the bat.

In my short time doing all this, I’d never quite gotten used to braining something so identifiably human, but the dull crunch of the skull caving in did the trick on one of them, and it collapsed. The other was more resilient and stumbled into the room with two more right behind him. I backed away, tracking the damaged one, and swung down at it again. It dropped to the ground and stopped moving. I backed up and stepped to the side of the arch.

The zombie closest to me made a beeline for Mina, which was what I had hoped for. I grabbed it by its rotting arm and used its own momentum to swing it off into the open space of the room. I did the same to the others as they entered. As long as I could keep moving and using my brain as more than snack food for them, I might get through this.

I shifted myself back between them and Mina. She was taking forever to swap the weighted adjustable frame with The Scream on the wall. Any bumps or pushes from my fight, and she’d set the alarm off.

I pushed one of the zombies away from me with the tip of my bat. A closer one lunged for Mina, and I swung around and down with a strike to the back of its head as I sidestepped. There was a crunch and it dropped. I paused for a moment. My arms were shaking. I realized that despite my adrenaline rush, I was still truly terrified.

“Almost done,” Mina said. She had the frames swapped out and was busy stuffing The Scream into the padded bag. Cold, rotting breath filled my nostrils. I turned and one of the undead was inches from my face, its lips peeled back as it moved in for a bite.

“Ready,” she said, and I felt a tug at my arm as she whisked me away. I felt slimy teeth brush against my skin as she pulled me along behind her. I shuddered and felt at my neck to see if the skin was broken anywhere. I couldn’t feel anything, but it did cause me to go weak in the knees, forcing me to lean on Mina. By the time we hit the top of the stairs, I started to feel a little stronger and made it down without breaking my neck. When we reached the main lobby, I looked back up them to see the three remaining zombies just coming into sight.

Mina stopped. I thought she was winded since she was breathing heavily, but there was a lustful sparkle in her eyes. I remembered that type of high from back when I was a thief. I felt the sensation a little now and realized that I had missed it. Mina gave me a wicked smile.

“Thanks for keeping me safe,” she said. Then she kissed me. Her mouth was warm and inviting, but it wasn’t what I wanted from her. Not now, not ever. I pushed away from her.

“Mina, I . . .”

I stopped myself. I was at a loss for what to say.

Mina turned away from me and slid the painting bag over her left shoulder. The moans of the remaining zombies came from the top of the stairs.

“Oh, and Simon?” she said, turning back.

“Yeah?” I was still somewhat dazed.

She raised her right hand. Her gun was in it, this time held by the barrel like a set of brass knuckles. “For the record, this is how you pistol-whip someone.”

She swung, hitting me squarely above the shoulder blade, right in the neck meat. If it hurt, I wasn’t sure. I was already unconscious and falling.

28

When I came to, I was thrilled to see that I didn’t have a sudden craving for human brains. I did, however, find myself in the back of a cab parked outside my apartment in SoHo with the driver giving me a gentle shake into consciousness. The side of my head throbbed to a bossa nova beat and I felt dizzy when I tried to reach for my wallet, but the driver waved me away. Apparently, the ride had already been paid for. I guess it was the least Mina could do after giving me a potentially life-threatening concussion and making away with a multimillion-dollar painting. How she had managed to drag me out into the street while carrying the painting and fleeing the zombies, I had no idea. But at least we hadn’t been caught, and now I hoped I’d never see her again.

On my way up to my apartment, I almost passed out several times as my head swam. After I let myself in, I shuffled across my darkened living room, surprised to find my psychometric powers triggering off everything I touched. Apparently, they were back for good . . . or at least until I ran into the gypsies again. I felt oddly comforted by their return, less alone.

I lowered myself onto my couch, letting it swallow all my pains and kinks from the night. I sat there for a long while, enjoying the quiet. It was nice for a change not to get jumped or find someone lurking in the shadows. My head still ached, but I could live with it.

I made my way to the kitchen and fished some aspirin down from one of the cabinets. Then I noticed my answering machine blinking.