The sandalwood scent. She had recognized it. It had triggered the first event in the cave. It had intruded upon her dreams. Of course. Alex stood, went for the package of Oreos and poured a glass of milk.

She returned to the table. Humans lived experiences through the senses. Studies had proved, of all the senses, the sense of smell was the most strongly associated with recovered memories.

Alex dunked a cookie in the milk, gaze fixed on the list, thinking back to her visions and dreams and how they had adapted to each new piece of information. The faceless baby, no longer faceless. The scent, now identified. And most recently, the angry voice, the words she had not been able to grasp.

“You want to know so bad? I’ll show you.”

Clark’s voice. Even as a chill moved over her, she shook it off, frustrated. Had it been Clark speaking all those years ago? Or had her confrontation with him, the implied threat simply triggered the memory?

She didn’t know. She was no closer to an answer than when she had begun.

Could she be responsible for any of this?

She couldn’t do this alone, Alex realized. She needed someone who knew her well, who wouldn’t judge. Someone who would help her see through her emotions and ferret out the truth.

Tim. She needed Tim.

Alex dialed his number. It rang once, then twice. She prayed he’d answer. He did and relief rolled over her. “Tim, it’s me.”

“Hey, you.” He yawned. “I’d wondered if you’d fallen off the planet.”

She struggled to keep her voice from shaking. “I need to talk to you.”

He yawned again. “What the hell time is it?”

“Early. It’s important.”

He must have heard the urgency in her voice, because he suddenly sounded wide awake. “What’s wrong?”

“I think-” A hysterical-sounding laugh bubbled to her lips. Now she sounded as crazy as she thought she was becoming. “Tim, I think I’m losing my mind.”

He laughed. “And you’re just realizing that? Honey, you lost your mind a long time-”

“I’m not joking, Tim.” She lowered her voice. “I need you to come here. Can you?”

“I guess, sure. I have classes until-”

“Can you cancel them?”

His silence said it all. Now he was worried.

“Please,” she whispered. “You know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t an emergency.”

For a long moment he was silent. Finally, he agreed. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Sit tight.”

CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

Monday, March 15

9:10 A.M.

The two hours’ wait seemed interminable. She made another pot of coffee, showered and straightened the cottage. Still, every minute seemed like ten. When he finally pulled up, she ran to meet him.

He wrapped her in his arms. “My God,” he said, “you’re shaking.”

“There’s so much to tell you… so much has happened. I don’t know where to begin.”

“Slow down, honey. Take a deep breath. Start with today.”

Alex breathed deeply, then said, “To start with today, I have to show you.”

She led him into the house and through to the bathroom. She flipped on the light and stepped aside. She saw it through his eyes, the smears of garish red, the crudely written word, the underlying mania of it. As if it had been done in a frenzy.

He looked at her. “Holy shit, Alex. What is this?”

“I don’t know, but I’m afraid… I think I might have done it.”

For a long moment he didn’t speak. When he did, he did so carefully, his tone measured. “That’s a fairly bold statement, Alex. One I don’t think you should make lightly.”

In his eyes, she saw real concern. “I’m not. I thought someone had broken in. The window was open. I was startled awake by something.”

“Or someone.”

“That’s what I thought, but then I saw… my right hand was stained. From the lipstick.” She held out her hands. “I showered. I probably shouldn’t have, but… It was on my sheets, too. I could show you.”

“It’s okay. I believe you.” He frowned and touched one of the smears, then rubbed it between his fingers. “I’ve never seen you wear red.”

“Rachel and I each bought a tube of it. We were being silly.”

He looked at her. “Who’s Rachel?”

“My stepsister. I really like her.” She rubbed her arms, suddenly chilled. “I need some sun. How about you?”

They ended up on the front porch, on the swing. On the way out, she’d grabbed the legal tablet and handed it to him now.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“I made a list. Of everything that’s happened. I hoped it would help me make sense of it all.”

He took the tablet from her and began to read. While he did, she held her face to the sun. The morning was bright and lovely. The light angled across the porch, touching them as the swing moved. In the small oak tree at the end of the porch, two finches were busy building a nest.

After several moments, he stopped the swing and looked at her. “I want you out of here, Alex.” As if anticipating her argument, he held up a hand to stop her. “You should have gotten the hell out when you found that lamb. Frankly, I’m a little concerned that you didn’t.”

“I thought the same thing this morning, when I took it all in.”

“And?”

“They’re not going to chase me off, Tim.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know, whoever’s doing this. I’m not leaving until I learn the truth.”

He angled toward her and gathered her hands in his. “What truth is that, Alex?”

“What really happened twenty-five years ago. To my brother. To me. Why my mother took me away and did her best to expunge my memory of the first five years of my life. What they’ve told me so far is a lie.”

Tim frowned. “What’ve they told you?”

“That my mother had been seducing the teenage sons of her and Harlan’s friends. It was a club, she publicly initiated them into sex. Then they all-”

She bit the last back.

“Then they what, Alex?”

She looked at him defiantly. “Took turns fucking her.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Who told you that?”

“Wayne Reed. He and his wife were my mother and stepfather’s best friends. His oldest son was one of the boys.” She cleared her throat. “After Dylan’s abduction, he confessed it all to his father. Wayne Reed went to the other fathers, they confronted her and ran her out of town.”

“And he just shared this out of the blue?”

“No. I was asking around about her ring, the one I found in her trunk.”

“With the vines and snake motif?”

She nodded and he frowned. “I thought maybe it’d been from my father. Turned out she’d had it designed for herself. Her initiates got a tattoo of the same motif.”

“And one of those ‘initiates’ turned up dead?”

She nodded. “They were afraid their secret would get out. They hadn’t even told the boys’ mothers. Or Harlan, he’d already lost so much. Plus, they didn’t want it all dredged up for the boys.”

“Nice and neat,” Tim murmured. He tapped the list. “Except for all this. Why’s it happening?”

A rhetorical question, she knew. Reed’s words jumped into her head again. “Whatever’s happening, you’re a part of it.”

Tim returned his gaze to hers. “Describe your wine cave experiences. Physically, how did they make you feel?”

“Both times, it was like having a panic attack. My heartbeat accelerated. My breathing. Palms began to sweat.

“Then the hallucination thing happened, though the two episodes were very different.” She clasped her hands together. “The first time, I smelled incense and heard a group of people… I thought there was a group having a party. I called out, but no one answered.”

Alex cleared her throat, remembering. “Some of the sounds coming from the group were… strange. Bestial. I lost it and screamed, though I had no recollection of doing it.

“My date found me,” she went on. “I was so certain there were people partying in there, we searched together. But the cave was empty.”