And Megan thought: Do I care enough? And if I do, why am I enjoying being with this man? I should be thinking only of returning to a convent. There was a power in Jaime Miró that was like a magnet. Is he like Manolete? Risking his life taking daring chances because he has nothing to lose?

"What will they do to you if the soldiers catch you?"

Megan asked.

"Execute me." He said it so matter-of-factly that for a moment Megan thought she had misunderstood.

"Aren't you afraid?"

"Of course I'm afraid. We're all afraid. None of us wants to die, Sister. We'll meet your God soon enough. We don't want to rush it."

"Have you done such terrible things?"

"That depends on your point of view. The difference between a patriot and a rebel depends on who is in power at the moment. The government calls us terrorists. We call ourselves freedom fighters. Jean Jacques Rousseau said that freedom is the power to choose our own chains. I want that freedom." He studied her a moment. "But you don't have to concern yourself with any of these things, do you? Once you're back in the convent, you'll no longer be interested in the world outside."

Was that true? Being out in the world again had turned her life upside down. Had she given up her freedom? There was so much she wanted to know, so much she had to learn. She felt like an artist with a blank canvas about to start sketching a new life. If I go back to a convent, she thought, I will be shut away from life again. And even as she thought it, Megan was appalled by the word if. When I go back, she corrected herself hastily. Of course I'm going back. I have nowhere else to go.

They camped that night in the woods.

Jaime said, "We're about thirty miles from Logroño and we aren't supposed to meet the others for two days. It will be safer for us to stay on the move until then. So tomorrow we will head toward Vitoria. The next day we'll go into Logroño and just a few hours after that, Sister, you'll be at the convent in Mendavia."

Forever. "Will you be all right?" Megan asked.

"Are you worried about my soul, Sister, or my body?"

Megan found herself blushing.

"Nothing will happen to me. I'll cross the border into

France for a while."

"I will pray for you," Megan told him.

"Thank you," he said gravely. "I will think of you praying for me and it will make me feel safer. Get some sleep now."

As Megan turned to lie down, she saw Amparo staring at her from the far end of the clearing. There was a look of naked hatred on her face.

No one takes my man from me. No one.

CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR

Early the following morning, they reached the outskirts of

Nanclares, a small village west of Vitoria. They came to a filling station with a garage, where a mechanic was working on a car. Jaime pulled into the garage.

"Buenos días," the mechanic said. "What is the problem?"

"If I knew," Jaime replied, "I would fix it myself and charge for it. This car is as useless as a mule. It sputters like an old woman and has no energy."

"It sounds like my wife," the mechanic grinned. "I think you may have a carburetor problem, señor."

Jaime shrugged. "I know nothing about cars. All I know is that I have a very important appointment in Madrid tomorrow.

Can you have it fixed by this afternoon?"

The mechanic said, "I have two jobs ahead of you, señor,

but—" He let the rest of the sentence hang in the air.

"I will be glad to pay you double."

The mechanic's face brightened. "Will two o'clock be all right?"

"Wonderful. We'll get something to eat and come back at two."

Jaime turned to the others, who had been listening to the conversation in amazement. "We're in luck," Jaime said. "This man is going to fix the car for us. Let's go eat."

They got out of the car and followed Jaime down the street.

"Two o'clock," the mechanic said.

"Two o'clock."

When they were out of earshot, Felix said, "What are you doing? There's nothing wrong with the car."

Except that by now the police will be looking for it,

Megan thought. But they'll be looking on the road, not in a garage. It's a clever way to get rid of it.

"By two o'clock we'll be gone, won't we?" Megan asked.

Jaime looked at her and grinned. "I have to make a phone call. Wait here."

Amparo took Jaime's arm. "I'll go with you."

Megan and Felix watched them walk off.

Felix looked at Megan and said, "You and Jaime are getting along well, yes?"

"Yes." She suddenly felt shy.

"He is not an easy man to know. But he is a man of great honor and great bravery. He is a very caring man. There is no one like him. Did I tell you how he saved my life, Sister?"

"No. I would like to hear."

"A few months ago the government executed six freedom fighters. In revenge, Jaime decided to blow up the dam at

Puente la Reina, south of Pamplona. The town below was headquarters for the army. We moved in at night, but someone tipped off the GOE, and Acoña's men caught three of us. We were sentenced to die. It would have taken an army to storm our prison, but Jaime figured out a way. He set the bulls loose in Pamplona, and in the confusion got two of us away.

The third one was beaten to death by Acoña's men. Yes,

Sister, Jaime Miró is very special."

When Jaime and Amparo returned, Felix asked, "What is happening?"

"Friends are picking us up. We'll have a ride into

Vitoria."

Half an hour later, a truck appeared. The back of it was covered by canvas.

"Welcome," the driver said cheerfully. "Hop in."

"Thank you, amigo."

"It's a pleasure to be of assistance to you, señor. It's good that you called. The damned soldiers are swarming around like fleas. It is not safe for you and your friends to be out in the open."

They climbed into the back of the truck, and the huge vehicle headed northeast.

"Where will you be staying?" the driver asked.

"With friends," Jaime said.

And Megan thought: He doesn't trust anyone. Not even someone who is helping him. But how can he? His life is in danger. And she thought of how terrible it must be for Jaime to be living under that shadow, running from the police and the army. And all because he believed in an ideal so much that he was willing to die for it. What was it he had said?

The difference between a patriot and a rebel depends on who is in power at the moment.

The ride was a pleasant one. The thin canvas cover offered security, and Megan realized how much fear she had felt when they were out in the open fields, knowing that they were all being hunted. And Jaime lives with that tension constantly.

How strong he is.

She and Jaime talked, and the conversation flowed easily,

as though they had known each other forever. Amparo Jirón sat listening to them, saying nothing, her face impassive.

"When I was a boy," Jaime told Megan, "I wanted to be an astronomer."

Megan was curious. "What made you—?"

"I had seen my mother and father and sisters shot down,

and friends murdered, and I couldn't face what was happening here on this bloody earth. The stars were an escape. They were millions of light years away, and I used to dream of going to them one day and getting away from this awful planet."

She was watching him, silent.

"But there is no escape, is there? In the end, we all have to face up to our responsibilities. So I came back down to earth. I used to believe that one person could not make a difference. But I know now that that is not true. Jesus made a difference, and Mohammed and Gandhi and Einstein and

Churchill." He smiled wryly. "Don't misunderstand, Sister.

I'm not comparing myself to any of them. But in my small way,