"Too bad," Mr. Crepsley said. "It is the hand you have been dealt."

"I hate you," I snarled.

"Too bad," he said again. "You are stuck with me. If it is any compensation," he added, "I am none too fond of you, either. Turning you into a half-vampire was the worst mistake I ever made."

"So why not free me?" I wailed.

"I cannot," he said. "I would if I could. Of course, you are free to leave any time you like."

I stared at him suspiciously. "Really?" I asked.

"Really," he said. "I do not mind. In fact, I would prefer it if you did. That way, you would no longer be my responsibility. I would not have to watch you die."

I shook my head slowly. "I don't understand you at all," I said.

He smiled, almost tenderly. "Nor I you," he said.

We laughed a little then, and things returned to normal. I didn't like what Mr. Crepsley had tried, but understood why he'd tried it. You can't really hate someone who has your best interests at heart.

I told him what I'd done that day, about going to the railroad yard with Sam and how he saved my life. I also told him about almost becoming Sam's blood brother.

"It is a good thing you stopped when you did," Mr. Crepsley said.

"What would have happened if I hadn't?" I asked.

"Your blood would have tainted his. He would have developed a taste for raw meat. He would have hung around butcher shops, staring in the windows. He would have aged at a slightly slower rate than normal. It would not have been much of a difference, but it would have been enough."

"Enough to do what?" I asked.

"Drive him mad," Mr. Crepsley said. "He would not have understood what was happening. He would have thought he was evil. He would not have known why his life had changed. Within ten years he would have been a screaming wreck."

I shivered at the thought of how close I'd come to destroying Sam's life. This sort of thing was precisely why I had to stay with Mr. Crepsley until I'd learned everything about being a half-vampire.

"What do you think of Sam?" I asked.

"I have not seen much of him," Mr. Crepsley said. "He comes mostly by day. But he seems nice. Very bright."

"He's been helping Evra and me with our chores," I said.

"I know."

"He's a good worker."

"So I have heard."

I licked my lips nervously. "He wants to join the Cirque," I said. Mr. Crepsley's face darkened. "I was going to ask Mr. Tall, but I forgot. I'll ask tomorrow. What do you think he'll say?"

"He will say you have to ask me. Children cannot join the Cirque Du Freak unless an independent member agrees to be their guardian.

" I could be his guardian," I said.

"You are not old enough. It would have to be me. I would have to give my permission. But I will not."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because it is a crazy idea," he said. "One child is bad enough. There is no way I would take on a second. Besides, he is human. I am stuck with you because of the vampire blood in your veins. Why should I put my neck on the line for a human?"

"He's my friend," I said. "He'd be company for me."

Mr. Crepsley snorted. "Madam Octa is company enough."

"That's not the same," I whined.

"Tell me this," Mr. Crepsley mused. "What happens when he finds out you are a vampire? You think he will understand? You think he will sleep easily, knowing his best friend would like nothing better than to slit his throat open and drink him dry?"

"I wouldn't do that!" I yelled.

"I know," Mr. Crepsley agreed. "But I am a vampire. I know what you are really like. So do Mr. Tall, Evra, and the others. But how do you think an ordinary human would see you?"

I sighed unhappily. "You won't let him join?"

Mr. Crepsley began to shake his head, then stopped and nodded slowly. "Very well," he said. "He can join."

"He can ?" I stared at him, shocked. Even though I'd been arguing on Sam's behalf, I'd never really thought they would let him join.

"Yes," Mr. Crepsley said. "He can join and travel with us and help you and Evra with your jobs. But on one condition." Mr. Crepsley leaned in close to me and grinned wickedly. " He has to become a half-vampire, too !" he hissed.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

My heart was heavy when I saw Sam run into camp early the next morning. I hated having to disappoint him but knew I had to. There was no way I could let Mr. Crepsley turn Sam into a half-vampire.

I'd thought about it a lot during the night, and the frightening thing was, I believed Sam would agree to become a half-vampire if I gave him the option. Smart as he was, I don't think he'd have stopped to consider the loneliness and awfulness of being a vampire.

He rushed over when he saw me, too excited to notice my new clothes and haircut.

"Did you ask him? Did you?" His face was bright, filled with hope.

"Yes," I said, smiling sadly.

"And?"

I shook my head. "Sorry, Sam. He said no."

Sam's face fell about a thousand miles.

" Why ?" he shouted.

"You're too young," I said.

"You're not much older!" he snapped.

"But I don't have parents," I lied. "I didn't have a home when I joined the Cirque."

"I don't care about my parents," he said with a sniff.

"That's not true," I said. "You'd miss them."

"I could go home for holidays."

"It wouldn't work. You're not cut out for life in the Cirque Du Freak. Maybe later, when you're older."

"I don't care about later !" he yelled. "I want to join now. I've worked hard. I've proved myself. I kept quiet when you were lying to R.V. about the wolf-man yesterday. Did you tell that to Mr. Tall?"

"I told him everything," I said.

"I don't believe you," Sam said. "I don't think you spoke to him at all. I want to see him myself."

I shrugged and pointed toward Mr. Tall's van. "That's where you'll find him," I said.

Sam ran off in a huff but slowed after a few steps, then came to a halt. He kicked the ground miserably, then returned and sat down beside me.

"It's not fair," he grumbled. I could see tears trickling down his cheeks. "I made up my mind to join. It was going to be great. I had it all planned."

"There'll be other chances," I said.

"When?" he asked. "I've never heard of a freak show playing around here before. When will I run into one again?"

I didn't answer.

"You wouldn't have liked it, anyway," I said. "It's not as much fun as you think. Imagine what it's like in the middle of winter, when you have to get up at five in the morning and shower in ice-cold water and work outside in blizzards."

"That doesn't bother me," Sam insisted. Then his tears stopped and he got a crafty look in his eyes. "Maybe I'll come along, anyway," he said. "Maybe I'll sneak into one of the vans and stow away with you. Mr. Tall would have to take me then."

"You can't do that!" I snapped. "No way!"

"I will if I want." He grinned. "You can't stop me."

"Yes, I can," I growled.

"How?" He sneered.

I took a deep breath. The time had come to scare Sam Grest away forever. I couldn't tell him the truth about me, but I could invent a story almost as horrifying, one guaranteed to send him running.

"I never told you what happened to my parents, did I, Sam? Or how I came to join the freak show?" I kept my voice low and steady.

"No," Sam said quietly. "I've wondered a lot, but I didn't want to ask."

"I killed them, Sam," I said.

" What ?" His face went white.

"I go crazy sometimes. Like the wolf-man. Nobody knows when it's going to happen, or why. I was in a hospital when I was younger, but I seemed to be getting better. My parents brought me home for Christmas. After dinner, while I was in a fight with Dad, I flipped out.