'Well, sorry, yes, very impolite of me. I'm Israel,' said Israel, putting out his hand to shake.
The man touched his forehead and bowed towards Israel.
'Peace, Israel.'
'Yes. Right. Peace, absolutely. And you're…?'
'You can call me Rabbit.'
'Rabbit?' said Israel. 'Okay. Right, Rabbit; what, as in the John Updike novels?'
'No,' said Rabbit.
'Right. Yes. I read, erm, Watership Down, actually, long time ago now, but…'
Israel always talked nonsense when he was nervous.
And not only when he was nervous.
Other men and women had now appeared from the encampment and come to stand alongside Rabbit.
'This is Israel,' said Rabbit. 'And Israel, this is Bingo, and Bev, and Boris, and Scarlet.'
'Hi,' said Israel.
'Peace,' they said. 'Peace.' 'Peace.' 'Peace.'
'Right. Yes. Same to you.'
'Hello?' Another woman came walking towards them; she was taller than the others, distinguished-looking, with a Pre-Raphaelite, flute-playing sort of look about her. She had long, jet-black hair swept back from her face, with a flash of grey at her temples. She wore tiny gold earrings, and no makeup, and a long bright red skirt and an emerald green shift; she looked as though she might recently have been modelling for John Everett Millais or a Scandinavian shampoo advertisement.
'This is Bree,' said Rabbit.
'Named after the cheese?' said Israel nervously.
'No,' said Bree. 'Named after the fire goddess, Bridgit.'
'Oh. Yes. Of course.'
'Also known as Brizo of Delos, the Manx Breeshey and Britomartis.'
'Gosh. Yes. That's…'
'And that's Spirit,' said Rabbit, referring to the large white dog that accompanied Bree and which was now licking Israel's left hand.
'Ah! Right. Hello, Spirit.' Israel lifted his hand away. Spirit leaped up towards him. Israel put his hand back down. 'Good dog! Good dog! Good dog!'
'Are you here to see us?' asked Bree.
'Actually, to be honest, I'm not-ahem-entirely sure,' said Israel. 'You see, we're two librarians. And our…'
He looked round and realised that Ted had wandered off.
'Ted!'
He looked towards the encampment. There, by the little old camper vans, and the big old converted public service disability vehicles, Ted was standing in front of a brightly painted van.
'Ted?'
Ted did not reply.
'Sorry,' said Israel, addressing his new friends. 'That's my friend Ted.' He walked over towards him, followed by the travellers. 'Ted, are you all right?'
'The van,' said Ted, mesmerised, nodding at the vehicle before him.
'What?'
'The van.'
'What about the van?'
'It's our van.'
Israel glanced at the vehicle. 'It's not our van, Ted. Come on, these people, we need to-'
'It's the van.'
'Ted, it's not the van. It's doesn't look anything like the van.'
'I know my van, and that is my van.' He pointed at it.
Israel went up and peered inside the windscreen.
The shelves inside were still intact. The skylight. The little issues desk.
It was the mobile library.
Fitted out inside with a sofa, and some rugs, and knickknacks on the shelves.
'Oh, my, God!' said Israel. He walked slowly around the whole van, following Ted. 'Oh, my, God.'
Over the cab, where it used it read 'The Mobile Library' there was now a brightly painted eye, which made the vehicle look like it had just woken up. Above the eye were painted the words 'The Odyssey'. Down the side of the van were painted the words 'The Warehouse of Divine Jewels'. Along the side, the lovely red and cream livery had been replaced with images of children playing. On the back, where it used to say 'The Book Stops Here' were painted the words 'Follow Us Towards Enlightenment', with a rainbow painted above it.
They wandered around again, astonished, to the front.
'My van,' said Ted. 'Look what they've done to my van!'
'Well, it's…It's certainly quite colourful, isn't it? I quite like it actually,' said Israel. 'It's rather well done. Is that a Cyclops eye on the front there?'
'It's the Eye of Horus.'
'Is it?'
'Yes. Horus was the Egyptian sky god.'
'Uh-huh.'
Israel turned to face the speaker, who had joined the crowd that had gathered around them. The man wore a bright red sarong and was bare-footed, and bare-chested, and tattooed up across his muscular arms, and he had his hair in dreadlocks, like fat hanks of wool, and silver bangles around his wrists.
'And you are?' said Israel, clearing his throat, just about managing not to say, 'Have you ever seen that Mel Gibson film, Apocalypto?'
'I'm Stones,' said the man.
'Sorry?' said Israel.
'Stones.'
'Right. Named after the Rolling Stones, eh?' ventured Israel.
'Named at Stonehenge. And you are?'
'Israel.'
'Named after the fascist state oppressing the Palestinian people?' said Stones.
'Erm…' said Israel.
'And you're the feckin' arse responsible for this…abomberation?' said Ted, coming over and squaring up to Stones.
'Abomination?' said Stones. 'I cannot claim responsibility for that, no. It's been a joint project.'
Ted and Stones eyed each other up and down, the small crowd watching them intently: the children with long hair, the men with shaven heads, the women wearing head scarves. And the dogs.
Stones was not quite as tall as Ted, but he was definitely younger and fitter, and he had the clear advantage of popular support; Israel wouldn't have liked to have bet on Ted coming out on top in a fight under those particular circumstances. This, however, didn't seem to have occurred to Ted.
'Well, you tell me which one of yous dirty scroungers painted my van and I'll feckin-'
'Did you hear him, children?' said Stones, appealing to the crowd. 'Who painted the van?'
A dozen long-haired children put up their hands.
'I'll-' continued Ted.
'The children did it?' said Israel.
'Under supervision,' said Stones.
'D'you like it?' said Bree. 'We only finished it yesterday.'
'It's…Well, it's very colourful. It's just. It's our van, actually,' said Israel.
'Your van?' said Stones, chuckling to himself. 'It's our van, actually. We bought it only recently, and perfectly legally.'
'You bought it?'
'That's right.'
'From Barry Britton at Britton's Second Hand Van Sales, Lease and Hire, by Wandsworth Bridge?' said Israel.
Stones did not reply.
'Well, we'll take that as yes then, shall we?' said Ted.
'Mr Britton has helped us source many of our vehicles.'
'Source?' said Ted. 'Source? Stolen, more like. You bloody-'
'That is something you'll have to take up with Mr Britton, I'm afraid.'
Ted was still staring at Stones. And Stones was staring back. Stalemate.
'Erm, look,' said Israel, appealing to Stones. 'We need the van,' he said soothingly. 'You see, we're going to the Mobile Meet, which is a big mobile library convention sort of thing, and-'
'No,' said Stones. 'Sorry. I don't wish to appear cynical, obviously, but your arriving here unannounced and claiming that this vehicle once belonged to you is hardly proof of either current or past ownership, is it? And you expect us to just hand it over? You could be anybody.'
'We're librarians,' explained Israel. 'We're over from Ireland.'
'You don't sound Irish.'
'No. No. No, God, I'm not Irish. I'm from London. He's from Ireland.'
'Northern Ireland,' said Ted.
'Ah!' said Bree, as if this explained something.
'Well, clearly there has been some sort of a misunderstanding,' said Stones. 'But I'm sure we can resolve it.'
'I'll show you how we're going to resolve it!' said Ted, squaring up to Stones.
'Yes,' said Israel, tugging urgently at Ted's sleeve. 'I'm sure we can resolve this. Amicably. Leave it to me,' he whispered to Ted.