'So anyway, you'll be doing the last call yerself. It's up by the Devines' there-if I drop you off you can walk down the wee rodden when you're done, sure. Bring you out by the big red barn.'

'Which big red barn?'

There were quite a lot to choose from round and about.

'The Devines' big red barn. "Awake To Righteousness Not Sin".'

'Oh, right, that big red barn, yes.'

Israel had quickly become accustomed to seeing walls and barns and signs painted with light-hearted biblical texts and evangelical appeals, which he'd found shocking at first, the reminder that 'Brief Life Here Is Our Portion', or that 'And After This, The Judgement', but you can get used to anything, it seems. He now found something of a comfort in the thought that all this was temporary.

'Yeah, that's fine,' said Israel, who had also become accustomed to agreeing eventually to whatever Ted suggested.

'Good. Dennis's first then.'

They drove up the long lane to a tall red-brick building, taller than it was wide, and which must have commanded fantastic views from the top.

'What's this place?' said Israel.

'Dennis's? It's the old water tower.'

'It's amazing.'

'It's an old water tower.'

'Towers are very important, you know, to the Irish imagination. I read a book once-'

'Ah'm sure. Well, I'll tell you what's important to this Irish imagination. Getting these shelves sorted and getting home for my tea.'

Ted pulled up the van and honked the horn.

A man appeared at an upper window of the tower.

'Dennis,' shouted Ted, getting out of the van.

'Ted,' shouted the man at the window, who was bearded, and probably about the same age as Israel and probably half his weight. He reappeared at the bottom of the tower a few minutes later.

'Dennis, Israel,' said Ted. 'Israel, Dennis.'

'Hello.'

'Pleased to meet you,' said Israel. Dennis seemed to be splattered all over with paint.

'Shelves for the library then, is it?' said Dennis, in businesslike fashion.

'Aye.'

'I'll need to measure her up.'

'Help yourself. Israel, open her up there for Dennis, will you?'

Israel and Dennis climbed into the back of the van.

'Where d'you want them?' asked Dennis.

'Down the sides, I suppose. I can ask Ted.' Israel stuck his head out of the window. 'Ted, where do we want the shelves?'

'Where d'you think, Einstein? On the ceiling?'

'Yeah, along the side,' said Israel to Dennis.

'Fine. Hold this then.' He gave Israel the end of his tape measure.

'How long have you been in this old game?' asked Israel, which was the question he asked everyone he didn't know what to say to.

'What game?'

'This, er, game. You know, erm…'

'I'm not.'

'What?'

'I just do it on the side, like. Bend down,' said Dennis. 'Lovely.'

Ted appeared at the front of the van, smoking.

'Garden's looking well for the time of year, Dennis.'

'Aye.'

'Leeks and potatoes, is it?'

'Aye.'

'What's your day job then?' asked Israel.

'I'm a painter.'

'Oh, that's handy. You can do the joinery then and the painting and decorating?'

'No,' said Dennis, unimpressed. 'I'm an actual painter.'

'He does portraits and everything,' explained Ted.

'Oh, gosh. Sorry,' said Israel.

'He's been to college and everything,' said Ted. 'Where was that place you went? He'll know. He's from England.'

'It's a big place, England,' said Israel, laughing. 'There's a lot of colleges.'

'The Royal Academy,' said Dennis.

'Oh. Right. Yes.'

'Other side then,' said Dennis, and they moved to the other side of the van to start measuring.

'You heard of that?' asked Ted.

'Yes. Yes. That's quite famous,' said Israel.

'Bend down.'

Israel, embarrassed, bent down.

'That'll do, then,' said Dennis. 'What do you want them in, Ted?'

'I don't know,' said Ted. 'You know the council. They're going to want the cheapest, aren't they?'

'MDF then?'

'Aye, I s'pose.'

'You'd be better with something a wee bit more sturdy, like,' said Dennis, 'Even for the look of it just.'

'Aye, I know, but.'

'D'you want to come in the workshop, have a look at what I've got? I've maybe something recyclable.'

Dennis's workshop was a red brick outbuilding behind the tower, stuffed to overflowing, literally stuffed to overflowing, stuff coming out of the doors and windows, like it was making an escape for the wild across the gravelly yard: old broken-down bits of furniture, and tables, and chairs, and picture frames, and window frames, and doors, and planks, anything wooden, like something out of Walt Disney's Fantasia. Inside there was an overpowering smell of polish and sawdust.

'This is like an Aladdin's cave,' said Israel, noticing cartwheels and a rocking horse, and a couple of old shop display cabinets.

'Everybody says that.'

'Oh, sorry.'

'It's all right. It is like Aladdin's cave. I just get used to it, I suppose.'

'What's it all for? Do you collect it?'

'Ach, no. I do a bit of conservation, like. Restoration. You know.'

'Right,' said Israel.

'D'you have any waney-edge?' asked Ted, who was poking around in a pile of logs. 'Just, I'm thinking of putting up a wee bit of fencing, for the dog.'

'Maybe somewhere, Ted. I'll have to look around.'

'Right enough.'

'Here's the planks but,' said Dennis, pointing to a row of old and seasoned timber stacked against the wall.

'That oak?' said Ted, pointing to a beautiful big golden plank with silvery flashes.

'Aye,' said Dennis. 'That was off of a trawler I think, down County Down.'

'Lovely that, isn't it, Israel?' said Ted.

Israel did his best to show enthusiasm for the old plank. 'Mmm,' he said. 'Yes. That's lovely.'

'We've got more oak here,' said Dennis, moving along the row of planks, running his hand across the wood. 'More oak. Elm. Mahogany. Teak. Walnut. Ash. There's cupping on some, but, so you wouldn't get the full length.'

'Cupping?' said Israel.

'A wee bit bowed, just,' said Dennis. 'Well?'

'What do you think?' Israel asked Ted.

'You're the boss,' said Ted. 'But in my opinion-I'm biased, mind-the old girl deserves the best.'

In the end, with Dennis's guidance and Ted's encouragement, Israel chose some old beech which had apparently originally graced the floor of a dance hall down in Belfast that Ted had once been to: it certainly had a beautiful grain. And it was considerably more expensive than the MDF.

'You'll square that with Linda then, will you, Israel?' said Ted.

'Oh yes,' said Israel. 'I think I can handle Linda.'

'Aye,' said Ted. 'Ah'm sure.'

Before they left, Dennis fetched a carrier bag full of books from the tower.

'Blimey,' said Ted when Dennis handed them over. 'What have you got in there?'

'It's art monographs, mainly,' said Dennis. 'And I threw in a few spares in case. Exhibition catalogues and what have you.'

'Great,' said Israel. 'That's brilliant.'

'Have those shelves for you beginning of next week, Ted,' said Dennis.

'Aye. Right enough,' said Ted. 'Bye then.'

'This is you then. I'll set you down here,' said Ted, about ten minutes after they'd left Dennis. 'Last call. You're doing it yerself, remember? I've to get on to the BB. I'll drop the van in to the farm later.'

'Oh, yes. Sure.'

Israel went to get out of the van.

'It's just up yonder there. And when you're done, look, it's back down here and left down the rodden there, and you'll be back at the farm in ten minutes.'

'Right. OK. Whose house is this then?'

'Pearce Pyper, he's called. You'll like him. He's more your sort.'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Well, you know, he's a bit…'

'What?'

'Ach, Israel, I don't know. Nyiffy-nyaffy.'