"She's right, Jost. There weren't any Shardbearers there-just Reshi raiders who thought they'd take advantage of the new king. They've never had any Shardblades. If your father saw one, he must be remembering incorrectly."

"Remembering incorrectly?" Jost said.

"Er, sure," Kal said quickly. "I'm not saying he's lying, Jost. He just might have some trauma-induced hallucinations, or something like that."

The boys grew silent, looking at Kal. One scratched his head.

Jost spat to the side. He seemed to be watching Laral from the corner of his eye. She pointedly looked at Kal and smiled at him.

"You always got to make a man feel like an idiot, don't you, Kal?" Jost said.

"What? No, I-"

"You want to make my fah sound like a fool," Jost said, face red. "And you want to make me sound stupid. Well, some of us ain't lucky enough to spend our days eating fruit and laying about. We've got to work."

"I don't-"

Jost tossed the quarterstaff to Kal. He caught it awkwardly. Then Jost took the other staff from his brother. "You insult my fah, you get a fight. That's honor. You have honor, lordling?"

"I'm no lordling," Kal spat. "Stormfather, Jost, I'm only a few nahn higher than you are."

Jost's eyes grew angrier at the mention of nahn. He held up his quarterstaff. "You going to fight me or not?" Angerspren began to appear in small pools at his feet, bright red.

Kal knew what Jost was doing. It wasn't uncommon for the boys to look for a way to make themselves look better than him. Kal's father said it had to do with their insecurity. He'd have told Kal to just drop the quarterstaff and walk away.

But Laral was sitting right there, smiling at him. And men didn't become heroes by walking away. "All right. Sure." Kal held up his quarterstaff.

Jost swung immediately, more quickly than Kal had anticipated. The other boys watched with a mixture of glee, shock, and amazement. Kal barely managed to get his staff up. The lengths of wood cracked together, sending a jolt up Kal's arms.

Kal was knocked off balance. Jost moved quickly, stepping to the side and swinging his staff down and hitting Kal in the foot. Kal cried out as a flash of agony lanced up his leg, and he released the staff with one hand and reached down.

Jost swung his staff around and hit Kal's side. Kal gasped, letting the staff clatter to the stones and grabbing his side as he fell to his knees. He breathed out in huffing breaths, straining against the pain. Small, spindly painspren-glowing pale orange hand shapes, like stretching sinew or muscles-crawled from the stone around him.

Kal dropped one hand to the stones, leaning forward as he held his side. You'd better not have broken any of my ribs, you cremling, he thought.

To the side, Laral pursed her lips. Kal felt a sudden, overpowering shame.

Jost lowered his staff, looking abashed. "Well," he said. "You can see that my fah trained me right good. Maybe that will show you. The things he says are true, and-"

Kal growled in anger and pain, snatching his quarterstaff from the ground and leaping at Jost. The older boy cursed, stumbling backward as he raised his weapon. Kal bellowed, slamming his weapon forward.

Something changed in that moment. Kal felt an energy as he held the weapon, an excitement that washed away his pain. He spun, smashing the staff into one of Jost's hands.

Jost let go with that hand, screaming. Kal brought his weapon around and slammed it into the boy's side. Kal had never held a weapon before, never been in a fight any more dangerous than a wrestling match with Tien. But the length of wood felt right in his fingers. He was amazed by how wonderful the moment felt.

Jost grunted, stumbling again, and Kal brought his weapon back around, preparing to smash Jost's face. He raised his staff, but then froze. Jost was bleeding from the hand Kal had hit. Just a little, but it was blood.

He'd hurt someone.

Jost growled and lurched upright. Before Kal could protest, the larger boy swept Kal's legs from underneath him, sending him to the ground, knocking the breath from his lungs. That set afire the wound in his side, and the painspren scampered across the ground, latching on to Kal's side, looking like an orange scar as they fed on Kal's agony.

Jost stepped back. Kal lay on his back, breathing. He didn't know what to feel. Holding the staff in that moment had felt wonderful. Incredible. At the same time, he could see Laral to the side. She stood up and, instead of kneeling to help him, turned and walked away, toward her father's mansion.

Tears welled in Kal's eyes. With a shout, he rolled over and grabbed the quarterstaff again. He would not give in!

"None of that now," Jost said from behind. Kal felt something hard on his back, a boot shoving him down to the stone. Jest took the staff from Kal's fingers.

I failed. I…lost. He hated the feeling, hated it far more than the pain.

"You did well," Jost said grudgingly. "But leave off. I don't want to have to hurt you for real."

Kal bowed his head down, letting his forehead rest on the warm, sunlit rock. Jost removed his foot, and the boys withdrew, chatting, their boots scraping on rock. Kal forced himself to his hands and knees, then up onto his feet.

Jost turned back, wary, holding his quarterstaff in one hand.

"Teach me," Kal said.

Jost blinked in surprise. He glanced at his brother.

"Teach me," Kal pled, stepping forward. "I'll worm for you, Jost. My father gives me two hours off each afternoon. I'll do your work then if you'll teach me, in the evenings, what your father is teaching you with that staff."

He had to know. Had to feel the weapon in his hands again. Had to see if that moment he'd felt had been a fluke. Jost considered, then finally shook his head. "Can't. Your fah would kill me. Get those surgeon's hands of yours all covered with calluses? Wouldn't be right." He turned away. "You go be what you are, Kal. I'll be what I am."

Kal stood for a long while, watching them go. He sat down on the rock. Laral's figure was growing distant. There were some servants coming down the hillside to fetch her. Should he chase after her? His side still hurt, and he was annoyed at her for leading him down to the others in the first place. And, above all, he was still embarrassed.

He lay back down, emotions welling inside of him. He had trouble sorting through them.

"Kaladin?"

He turned, ashamed to find tears in his eyes, and saw Tien sitting on the ground behind him. "How long have you been there?" Kal snapped.

Tien smiled, then set a rock on the ground. He climbed to his feet and hurried away, not stopping when Kal called after him. Grumbling, Kal forced himself to his feet and walked over to pick up the rock.

It was another dull, ordinary stone. Tien had a habit of finding those and thinking they were incredibly precious. He had an entire collection of them back in the house. He knew where he'd found each one, and could tell you what was special about it.

With a sigh, Kal began walking back toward the town.

You go be what you are. I'll be what I am.

His side smarted. Why hadn't he hit Jost when he'd had the chance? Could he train himself out of freezing in battle like that? He could learn to hurt. Couldn't he?

Did he want to?

You go be what you are.

What did a man do if he didn't know what he was? Or even what he wanted to be?

Eventually, he reached Hearthstone proper. The hundred or so buildings were set in rows, each one shaped like a wedge with the low side pointing stormward. The roofs were of thick wood, tarred to seal out the rain. The northern and southern sides of the buildings rarely had windows, but the fronts-facing west away from the storms-were nearly all window. Like the plants of the stormlands, the lives of men here were dominated by the highstorms.