"One hundred decillion fold," I confirmed. "When the fluid is injected into the subject's brain, the entire brain becomes arbitrarily indeterminate, for the brain's size is now less than the one-meter Planck length. The personality associated with the brain becomes able to do anything whatsoever."
"A third-order uncertainty," mused Bitter. "An ingenious device. And you say that you invented it?"
"No one invented it, I tell you. I got it from Harry and Harry got it from me. It made us build it."
"Yet it only wants to work three times," said Bitter, sitting back in his chair. "What do you think of all this, Sybil?"
"I think you're right to let Nancy have the third wish," said Bitter's wife. She had lighted a cigarette and was holding her head tilted back to keep the smoke out of her eyes. "It's like a fairy tale. Do you remember the story of the magic fish that we read, Serena?"
"Yus."
"How does it go?" asked Nancy.
"Like this," said old Sybil. "A poor fisherman catches a magic fish. The fish says, 'Put me back in the water and you can have anything you want.' So the fisherman throws the magic fish back in the water. When he gets home to his little hut, he tells his wife. The wife says she wants to live in a mansion. So the fisherman goes back to the ocean and asks the fish for a mansion. Fine. When the fisherman gets home, there's a mansion, but his wife isn't satisfied for long. 'This isn't enough,' she says. 'I want to be a queen in a castle.' So the fisherman goes back to the ocean and calls to the fish again. When he gets home, his wife is a queen in a castle, but she still isn't happy. 'I want to be empress of the sun and the moon,' she says. Well, the fisherman goes back to yell for the magic fish again, but this time the fish gets mad and takes everything away."
"It was the wife's fault!" I exclaimed. "It was the wife's fault that they ended up with nothing."
"It wasn't the wife who kept going back to bother the magic fish," said Sybil, looking at me through a haze of smoke. "The fisherman should have thought for himself. I know another three-wish fairy tale, too."
"I've heard it," I interrupted. "'The Peasant and the Sausage.'"
"Yes," said Sybil. "And I suppose you blame the wife in that one too, don't you, Joe?" She was just backing up Nancy because they were both women.
"Of course it was the wife's fault. If she hadn't asked for that stupid sausage —"
"And what if the husband hadn't been so mean? They would have had two good wishes left. A husband should think for himself and keep his temper."
I was going to yell something back, but Bitter interrupted me. "Don't try to argue with Sybil. It's hopeless. I'll try and get you the yellow gluons, Joe, but Nancy will have to be the one to get blunzed."
"All right," I sighed. "But what are you going to wish for, Nancy? Make sure you get me back my right body, and get Harry and Sondra and me out of trouble with the law."
"I'll wish what I like," said Nancy tartly. That Sybil was a bad example, a real troublemaker.
"I made a big wish once," said Alwin suddenly. "It was a long time ago. I was involved with a dangerous experiment — an experiment even more dangerous than yours, Joe. It gave me endless power, but the world was being destroyed. I had to use my power to renormalize reality. I had to use my power to get rid of my power."
"Do all the wish stories have to end that way?" protested Nancy. "With everyone back where they started?"
"One could argue that the world is perfect just as it is," said Bitter. "The world is the sum of all our wishes about it. And all of us are aspects of the One."
"I understand," said Nancy softly. "I understand, Alwin."
"Well, I sure don't," I said, rising to my feet. My skirt was rucked up awkwardly around my waist. I patted at my big hips, trying to smooth the fabric down. "Come on, Dr. Bitter, less talk and more action. Let's go get those gluons."
"All right. I'll make a phone call first."
Nancy and I said goodbye to Serena while Bitter made his call. Sybil kept staring at me in curiosity. She seemed fascinated by the idea of a man trying to move a woman's body around.
"Don't you like being a woman?" she asked me finally.
"No, it's too hard. There's a fairy tale about that too, isn't there?"
"That's right," said Sybil. " 'The Farmer Who Would Keep House.' " Her soft eyes were dancing and her broad mouth was amused. It was hard to stay mad at this woman.
"Can you watch Serena just a little longer?" asked Nancy.
"I have to go meet a friend," said Sybil. "But my daughter Ida will be home from school soon. She'll keep an eye on Serena. Make a good wish, Nancy!"
"It's all set," said Bitter, coming back into the room. "Tri Lu has some yellow gluons you can have for one million dollars."
"Let's go."
Alwin and Nancy and I set out on foot. Lu's office wasn't far.
26. I Do It
Tri Lu had big teeth, a skinny yellow face, and an unruly shock of dry, black hair. It was love at first sight.
"Ah Joe Fletcher you?" Long, jerky laughter. "You very lucky!" More laughter. He stuck out his thumb and pinkie and put his hand to his ear — miming a telephone call. "I talk Dr. Baumgard. He very angry you."
"Has he called the police?"
"He want information you promise. He want right away. You sit my lap now, Joe. I call." He was laughing again, pulling in lungfuls of air between each spasm. Hohawhaha-gasp-hohawhahahagasp. Finally it turned into a coughing fit and he buried his face in his hands. He was embarrassed by how much he wanted me.
"Are you sure this is the right guy?" I asked old Bitter.
"Yes. He's our finest experimentalist. If he can't help you, no one can."
"I don't like the way he looks at you, Joe," said Nancy.
Nervously I reached up to ruffle my hair. Tri Lu had recovered now. He was watching me. He was ready to eat me alive, drumsticks first.
"Why don't you two wait outside," I told Nancy and Alwin. "Dr. Lu and I will work this out."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Please leave us alone till I call you. Go for a walk or something."
They went out and I closed the office door. I leaned against it, hands behind my back, and gave Tri Lu my biggest smile. He smiled back.
"Come here, Joe. I dial."
I went and sat in Lu's lap while he dialed Baumgard's number. It seemed like the easiest thing to do. Hell, I had nothing to be scared of. I had twenty pounds on the guy, easy.
"I hope I'm not too heavy for you, Dr. Lu."
He handed me the receiver and threw his arms around me. "Good fat American cowgirl. I love."
"Hello?" quacked the little voice on the phone. "Baumgard here."
"Dana. This is Joe Fletcher." Lu had his hands on my breasts. The nipples were starting to tingle. It was hard to concentrate on the secret of the universe. "I'm in Tri Lu's office, and he said I should call you, so…" I broke off in a squeal as Lu's hungry Vietnamese fingers dug too far into my ripe American flesh.
"You sound odd, Fletcher. Has something happened to you?"
"I'll say. Never mind. I wanted to call you about the reason why things exist."
"The experiment was a success?"
"Yes. The universe is a sort of perpetual motion machine. It funnels energy from the future back to the past. The universe is a self-excited system."
A pause. Then, "That's not enough, Fletcher. Where does the whole system come from at all? The world-snake bites its tail — fine. Where did the snake come from?"
Lu was trying to force his hand between my thighs now. I had my knees pressed tight together, but I could feel myself weakening. This skinny little guy was awfully cute. "What did you say, Dana?"
"Where does the self-generating universe come from?"