“Diti wants you to…”

“Then she has to come and ask,” I said.

Fanasi frowned. “This isn’t only about her, you know.”

“It’s about her first,” I said. I paused for a moment and then sighed. “Tell her to come out and speak with me.” I looked back at Mwita before exiting. He was shirtless and I was taking the cover. He waved a hand at me and said, “Just don’t take too long.”

Outside was even cooler. I wrapped the cover more tightly around myself and made for the dwindling rock fire. I raised my hand and swirled the air around it until it grew hot again. I waved some warm air toward my tent.

Fanasi placed a hand on my shoulder. “Hold your temper,” he said. He went into Binta and Diti’s tent.

“As long as she does,” I mumbled. I stared at the glowing stones as Diti came out. Fanasi went into his tent and pulled the flap shut. As if Diti and I really had any privacy.

“Look,” she said. “I just wanted…”

I held my hand up and shook my head. “Apology first. Otherwise, I’m going right back into my tent to sleep a long guilt-free sleep.”

She frowned at me for too long. “I…”

“And wipe that look off your face,” I said, cutting her off. “If I’m so disgusting to you, then you should’ve stayed home. You deserved your beating. You’re stupid to provoke someone who can break you in half. I’m taller, bigger, and much angrier.”

“I’m sorry!” Diti shouted.

I saw Luyu peak out of her tent.

“I… this journey,” Diti said. “It’s not what I expected. I’m not who I expected.” She wiped her brow. It was hot now from the fire, suitable for the conversation. “I’ve never been outside of Jwahir. I’m used to good meals, fresh hot bread, and spiced chicken not stewed desert hare and camel milk! Camel milk is for infants and… infant camels!”

“You’re not the only one here who’s never left Jwahir, Diti,” I said. “But you’re the only one acting like an idiot.”

“You showed us!” Diti said. “You showed us the West. Who could just sit there after seeing that? I couldn’t just live my happy life with Fanasi. You changed all that.”

“Oh, don’t blame me!” I snapped. “None of you dare blame me! Blame yourselves for your ignorance and your complacency.”

“You’re right,” Diti said quietly. “I… I don’t know what’s been happening to me.” She shook her head. “I don’t hate you…but I hate what you are. I hate that whenever I look at you… It’s hard for us, Onye. Eleven years of believing that Ewu people are dirty, lowly, violent people. Then we met you and then Mwita. Both of you are the strangest people we’ve ever met.”

“Soon, you too will be viewed as low,” I said. “Soon you’ll understand how I feel wherever I go.” But I was conflicted. Diti and Binta were going through something just as I was, as we all were. And I had to respect that. Despite it all. “You came out here to ask me something?”

Diti looked toward Fanasi’s tent. “Take it off me. If you can. Will you?”

“You won’t like what I have to do,” I said. “I won’t either.”

Diti frowned. Her frown turned to a look of disgust. “No.”

“Yes,” I said.

“Ugh!”

“I know.”

“Will it hurt in the same way?” she asked.

“I don’t know. But when it comes to sorcery, you never get without giving.”

Luyu came out of her tent. “Me, too,” she said. “I don’t care about you putting your hands on me. Anything to enjoy intercourse again. I don’t have time for marriage.”

Binta came scrambling out. “Me, too!” she said.

All I felt was doubt. “Okay,” I said. “Tomorrow night.”

“So you know exactly what to do?” Luyu asked.

“I think so,” I said. “I mean, I’ve never done this before, obviously.”

“What do you think you’ll… do?” Luyu pressed.

I thought about it. “Well, something can’t come from nothing. Even a bit of flesh. Once Aro pulled an insect’s leg off, threw the leg aside, and said, ‘make it walk again.’ I was able to do it but I can’t tell you how. There’s a point where it goes from me doing something to something working through me and doing what’s to be done.”

I frowned considering this. When I healed it wasn’t all me. If it wasn’t all me, then who else was it? It was like that moment I told to Luyu, when you wake up and don’t know who you are.

“Once I asked Aro what he thought happened when he healed and he said it had something to do with time,” I said. “That you manipulate it to bring back the flesh.” The three of them just stared at me. I shrugged and gave up explaining.

“Onye,” Binta suddenly said. “I’m so so sorry. We shouldn’t have gone there.” She threw herself on me, knocking me over. “You shouldn’t have been there!”

“It’s okay,” I said, trying to sit up. She still clung to me and now she was crying hard. I wrapped my arms around her, whispering, “It’s okay. Binta. I’m okay.” Her hair smelled like soap and scented oil. She’d braided her Afro into many small braids the day before we left Jwahir. Since then, the braids had grown out and still she hadn’t undone them. I wondered if she’d decided to go dada. Two of the camels humphed from behind Luyu’s tent where they were trying to rest.

“For goodness’ sake,” Fanasi said coming out of his tent, “Women.”

Mwita came out of his tent, too. I noticed Luyu looking at his bare chest and I wasn’t sure if it was out of the usual curiosity people had about the bodies of the Ewu or something more carnal.

“So it’s decided then,” Mwita said. “That’s good.”

“Indeed it is,” Fanasi said cheerily.

Diti gave him a dirty look.

CHAPTER 35

I SPENT MOST OF THE NEXT DAY AS A VULTURE, soaring, relaxing. Then I returned to camp, dressed, and walked for about a mile to a place I had scoped out while flying. I sat under the palm tree, put my veil on my head, and pulled my hands into my garments for protection from the sun. I cleared my head of thought. I didn’t move for three hours. I returned to the camp just before sunset. The camels greeted me first. They were drinking from a bag of water Mwita held for them. They nudged me with their soft wet muzzles. Sandi even licked my cheek, smelling and tasting the wind and sky on my skin.

Mwita kissed me. “Diti and Binta have made you a feast,” he said.

I especially enjoyed the roasted desert hare. They were right to want me to eat. I needed my strength. Afterward, I took a bucket of water, went behind our tent, and washed thoroughly. As I poured water over my head, I heard Diti shout, “Don’t!” I paused, listening. I couldn’t quite hear over the sound of dripping water. I shivered and finished my bath. I dressed in a loose shirt and my old yellow rapa. By this time the sun had set completely. I could hear them all gathering. It was time.

“I’ve chosen a place,” I said. “It’s about a mile away. There’s a tree. Mwita, Fanasi, you stay here. You’ll see our fire.” I met Mwita’s eyes, hoping he understood my unspoken words: Keep your ears open.

I took a satchel full of stones and the four of us left. When we got to the tree, I dumped out the rocks and warmed them up until my joints loosened. The night was very cold. We’d come far enough for the weather to change. Though the days remained hot, the nights had become utterly frigid. It rarely got this cold at night in Jwahir.

“Who wants to go first?” I asked.

They looked at each other.

“Why not do it in the order of our rite?” Luyu said.

“Binta, you, then Diti?” I said.

“Let’s do it the other way around this time,” Binta insisted.

“Fine,” Diti said. “I didn’t come here to get scared.” Her voice was shaking.

“Spit out your talembe etanou stones,” I said.

“Why?” Luyu asked.

“I think they’re charmed, too,” I said. “But I’m not sure how.” Luyu spit hers in her hand and put it in a fold in her rapa. Diti spit hers into the dark. Binta hesitated. “Are you sure?” she asked.

I waved a hand at her. “Do what you like.” She didn’t spit hers out. “All right,” I said. “Ah, Diti, you have to…”