Pluto snatched me in a headlock and I stumbled beside him as we climbed the stairs to the stage. It was dark in front of the Spot, except for a few low lights over the bar. My eyes adjusted and I could see there were people sitting and waiting in the darkness, and I smelled weed and cigarette smoke and heard shot glasses clinking together.

“Right there,” I heard somebody say, and my stomach clenched. It was G, and just the sound of his voice almost made me pee on myself.

Pluto threw me on the floor, and the funk of thirty different dicks rose from my body. Just make me dance, I prayed. Please don’t beat me no more. Just make me get up and shake my ass, lick my own titties, hold my pussy open, and let these freaks stare at my uterus. Just don’t beat me no more.

Suddenly somebody turned on the spotlight overhead, and I saw that I wasn’t up on that stage by myself. Some guy was sitting in a chair, slumped over with a hoody pulled over his face like he was asleep. I couldn’t see any of his features, and his clothes looked just like every other playa who rolled at the Spot. He was wearing a fresh pair of Timbs, some Sean Johns, and the rest of his gear was Roc-A-Wear.

“Stand up, Juicy.”

I looked out into the audience and saw G sitting there twirling that goddamn ring. Moonie, Ace, and Cooter were also there, along with a few regulars. Slowly, I pulled myself up to my feet, shaking so bad and in so much pain that I almost fell back down. Somebody pointed the spotlight right in my face, and I put my hand up to shield my eyes, squinting as I waited for his next command.

“You like sucking dick, right, Juicy?”

I swallowed hard, fear stealing my breath.

“N-o-o, G,” I whispered. “That’s why I bit Pluto. D-d-dick sucking is nasty. I don’t like to suck no dick.”

A glass came flying toward me, barely missing my face. It shattered against the back wall and I almost peed again.

“Lying ho. Next time it’ll be a whole bottle and I won’t miss.” He started talking again, his words real slow and evil. “So now you think that shit is nasty, huh? Turn around, Juicy.”

I was scared to turn my back on G, but I had no choice. I turned around slowly, bracing myself for the shot that would blow the back of my head all over the stage. Instead, the big screen was lowered and the projector started rolling. G was showing a movie, and I was playing in the starring role.

I started crying when the camera picked up a shot of me and Gino chilling in that phat-ass hotel room in Atlantic City, courtesy of G. It showed us coming out the bathroom wearing fluffy white robes after showering together, and then taking turns rubbing our naked bodies down with designer lotion from the Taj Mahal. Gino looked so good to me, so real and unhurt, that it was painful to imagine him all beaten up like he was the last time I’d seen him, and it almost killed me that I’d never see him again.

But then the camera rolled on and I was on my knees, smiling and taking all ten inches of Gino’s big black dick in my mouth, licking it like it was candy, stroking it with both hands, sucking it so hard my cheeks collapsed.

My shit was done for. To G, this was the ultimate betrayal and disrespect, and I turned back around, ready to face whatever I had coming. Yeah, G had set us up, but I already knew that. His revenge was to humiliate me and keep me fearing for my life. Well, I didn’t give a fuck no more. G couldn’t do no more to me than had already been done. Let him kill me, I didn’t care. He dictated the game and called all the shots, but I wasn’t my mother and I wouldn’t beg or try to trade somebody else’s life for mine.

I stood there waiting, and for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t scared at all. I was ready for G and ready to die. The lights were on me so bright I could barely see G, but I knew he was twirling that ring with a killer look on his face.

“So you do like sucking dick, huh Juicy?”

I glanced over at Pluto. He was holding his shit through his pants.

“I guess.”

“Naw, bitch. Don’t look like you was guessing just now to me. Say that shit out loud. Don’t be shy. Say you like sucking dick, cause that’s exactly what you was doing.”

I went ahead and said it. What did it matter? “Yes, G. I like sucking dick.”

“Good,” he said. “Cause you gonna suck some dick tonight. Pluto, wake that niggah up.”

Pluto came up on stage and snatched the hoody off the brother in the chair. He turned a whole bottle of vodka over and poured it dead in the guy’s face. Ace and G started laughing as the guy sputtered and coughed while coming awake, and as I strained to see around Pluto’s big wide ass I almost passed out when I peeped who was struggling and choking in that chair.

It was Jimmy.

My brother looked more dead than alive. His face was all fucked up and blood was caked up everywhere. He had a dented gash deep in his forehead and his jaw swung back and forth like it was broken.

“Jimmy…,” I moaned, dropping to my knees in front of him. He had come back for me. “Oh, God… Jimmy-Jo… what did they do to you?”

His eyes were so puffy he could hardly open them. He reached out to touch me and I saw that his fingers were swollen and broken and pointing every which way. “You… my heart… Juicy.”

I couldn’t stop crying. “And you my soul.”

I turned to G. “What’d you do to him, G?” I screamed. “I thought you loved him like your own! How could you do him this way?”

“Bitch, you thought I loved Gino, too, but that didn’t stop you from sucking his dick!”

“Get a doctor for him, G. Please. Do what you wanna do to me, but Jimmy is hurt for real. At least get him a doctor.”

“Everything Jimmy’s gonna get is right here.”

I put my head down on my brother’s lap and cried some more. His insides were so busted up that he was bleeding from the mouth and blood sprayed out his nose every time he exhaled.

G said, “You in just the right spot, Juicy. Now, since you like sucking dick so much, pull out that niggah’s shit and get to sucking!”

I looked up. “W-w-what?”

G’s voice was cold as ice. “You heard me. Suck… his… MOTHERFUCKIN DICK!” And then he added softly, “Or watch the motherfucker die.”

A chill ran through my body and I fumbled for Jimmy’s belt. I’d suck his dick. I’d lick his ass, I’d swallow his balls, just as long as G let him live.

Jimmy fought me as I tried to get to him, cursing and protesting. “Juicy… no… stop, Juicy. No…”

Ace and his niggahs was laughing like crazy as I slapped at Jimmy’s hands, crying louder as he winced in pain from my blows. I didn’t give a fuck. I was gonna suck his dick until the skin fell off. I’d do anything to please G and to keep my brother alive.

I managed to undo the top button on Jimmy’s pants and he finally quit fighting me and let me get his zipper down, but as soon as I reached down into his underwear he brought his knee up and caught me in the chest, and if I hadn’t grabbed hold of the chair I would have fallen over backward.

Jimmy looked down at me with love and tears in his eyes and I knew the only reason my brother was here was because of me. We stared at each other for a split second and I tried to make him see without words why we had to work together, why we had to do whatever it took to keep him alive. But he shook his head no.

“I love you, Juicy-Mo,” my baby brother whispered with blood on his lips, and as I opened my mouth to tell him the same thing, he stood up and reached into his pants and then I saw a quick flash of silver and heard two thunderous booms.

The first shot got G right where he stood, and the second shot, the one that Jimmy turned on himself, sent blood and brains and shattered pieces of bone raining down all over my head as my soul broke free of his body and floated up to heaven.