She smiles and wipes her eyes. “Remember how hard we used to think we had it? How frustrated we used to get with the kids…?”
“How could I forget?”
“You hated your job, I couldn’t stand being with the children, Dad was sick of bailing us out all the time…”
“I know. I remember.”
“I’d do anything to have it all back how it was.”
She’s right. In spite of everything, sitting here with her and with Ellis lying between us, part of me knows she’s right.
“I wish I could be back there,” she continues, reaching down and resting her hand on Ellis’s shoulder. Ellis flinches and tries to roll away, but Lizzie ignores her violent reaction. “You, me, Ellis, and the boys in the kitchen of our shitty little apartment, fighting over the TV or who’d eaten whose candy or something stupid like that…”
“Me, too,” I say quietly, surprising myself with my admission. Another explosion reverberates around the garage, followed by the sound of dust and debris raining down on the roof of the van. This van is like a cocoon, temporarily isolating us from the chaos of the rest of the world, but I can hear the intensity of the fighting outside continuing to increase.
“We can’t stay here,” I tell her. “It’s not safe.”
“I know.”
“I have to go. I have to take her with me and get her away.”
Lizzie nods and wipes her eyes again. She looks down at Ellis and smiles, then crouches down next to her and picks up the knife she was carrying. Ellis tries to lunge at her, the chains still holding her back. For a split second I think Lizzie’s going to attack her, but I watch her face and I know that she won’t. She can’t. She removes the clothesline that has been wrapped around Ellis’s legs, then slides the long blade between her bare ankles and draws it up, cutting through the plastic ties that hold her tight. Ellis immediately reacts, kicking out at Lizzie with incredible, unrestrained fury and anger.
“What are you doing? Get out of here, Liz. Just go-”
“Hold her, Danny.”
I lift Ellis up, her legs still thrashing, and wrap my arms around her chest as Lizzie removes the padlock and chains that have kept her anchored to the floor of the van. Her ferocity and strength are remarkable, and I struggle to keep hold of her. Lizzie removes Ellis’s gag, and her head immediately lurches forward as she tries to take a bite out of her mother’s face. Lizzie ducks out of the way, then lowers the blade toward the ties binding Ellis’s wrists together.
“You should go,” I tell her. “Get back to Mark and the others. Try to get away from here while you still can.”
She shakes her head and starts to cut.
“Let her go, Danny. I just want to hold her before you take her.”
I relax my grip. The plastic ties pop open, and Ellis immediately lunges forward, her incredible strength taking me by surprise. She flies at Lizzie, landing in her arms and smashing her back against the side of the van with a sickening thump. For the briefest of moments they’re locked in an embrace, Lizzie burying Ellis’s face in her chest, not wanting to let her go. I watch the pair of them in the low light, huddled close together. They could be anywhere-saying good-bye in the school playground, sitting on the end of Ellis’s bed last thing at night, keeping her warm when she’s just come in from outside…
Then the expression on Lizzie’s face changes. Her eyes screw shut with pain, and she opens her mouth to scream but no sound comes out. Ellis pushes her away and glances back at me, blood covering the bottom part of her face. She spits out a chunk of Lizzie’s flesh, then turns back and attacks again.
I shuffle back into the corner and cover my head as she rips her mother’s body apart.
38
BLOOD-SOAKED AND PANTING HARD, Ellis sits in the diagonally opposite corner of the van and watches me. What has she become? Does she even remember who I am? She hasn’t tried to kill me. She’d have attacked if she thought I was a threat.
“We have to go, Ellis. We have to get away from here. It’s not safe. People are going to try to kill everyone here. Do you understand?”
No reaction. No time to wait for an answer. I take her rainbow-colored sweater out of my backpack and edge closer to her.
“Put this on. Keep you warm.”
I reach up to put it over her head. She swipes it out of my hands. I pick it up and try again, but she’s not having any of it, and I drop it. She hisses at me and pushes herself farther into the corner. Poor kid, it’s hard seeing her like this. I’d naively expected her not to have changed much. Maybe I’d just been trying to convince myself she wouldn’t be like the kids we found at her school. She’ll be better now that we’re together.
“Come on, we’re going,” I tell her, forcing myself to move. I grab the knife and flashlight in one hand and Ellis’s wrist with the other and drag her out of the back of the van. We hit the ground, and she immediately tries to pull away from me, but I won’t let go. I drop the flashlight, shove the knife into my belt, and lean back into the van again. With outstretched fingers I reach the long length of cord they’d used to tie her legs together. It’s wet with Lizzie’s blood. Ellis keeps pulling against me, her strength and persistence hard to control, but I manage to keep hold and pull her closer. I tie one end of the cord around my waist and the other around hers like a leash. Christ, there’s hardly any meat on her at all. The chubby puppy fat I remember around her belly has gone. She’s lean and sinewy now-just skin, muscle, and bone.
“In case we get separated, okay?”
Still no reaction.
“Ellis, can you hear me?”
She looks into my face but doesn’t respond. Now that she’s attached to me I let her go, and she immediately darts away, almost dragging me over when the cord pulls tight. I try to haul her back, but she’s fighting against me constantly.
“Stop! Ellis, sweetheart, it’s Daddy…”
I’m struggling to keep my footing. In the brief lightning flash of an explosion outside, I see that she’s trying to undo the cord. I run toward her and scoop her up into my arms again. She kicks and squirms to get free.
“Calm down,” I whisper, my mouth next to her ear. “Please, Ellis, just stop…”
My words have no effect. Got to get out of this garage. Maybe she’ll respond better if she can see me clearly and if she can see what’s happening around us. Disoriented, I head the wrong way and find myself trying to get through the rubble at the collapsed front of the building. I double back on myself, past the open van and Lizzie’s body, trying to retrace my steps back out. Someone shines a light in my face. I can’t cover my eyes, so I instinctively screw them shut. I almost drop Ellis but manage to tighten my grip before she falls.
“Let her go,” an immediately familiar voice orders.
“Julia? How did you…?”
“I followed you. We knew you were looking for your kid, and Craven showed me what you found on the system.”
“But what about the plan? The fighting?”
“What about it? Have you seen what’s happening out there? The chain reaction’s started, McCoyne. They’re turning on each other.”
“So you’ve got what you wanted. The city’s falling apart and-”
“I can’t let you take her. Kids like this are the future. We need them more than you can imagine-”
“She’s staying with me.”
“You don’t understand. Sahota and Preston both-”
“No, you don’t understand. Ellis is my daughter, and I’m responsible for-”
“Your only responsibility is to this war.”
“But I’ll take her back to the others. I promised Preston I’d-”
“Do you think I’m stupid? If I let you go you’d disappear and we’d never see either of you again. I can’t take that risk. She’s coming with me, and you should be proud to let her go. We’ll take her, and she’ll help us hunt more of them down until the last one’s dead. Your kid’s already more of a fighter than you’ll ever be, and you should-”