The road left the town from the west, skirting round Beshtau, the largest of the five volcanoes; below, one could glimpse now and then the bends of the Podkumok, its waters gray and muddy. I didn’t actually have much to do in these other towns, but I was curious to visit them, and I wasn’t burning with desire to go see the Aktion. Yessentuki, under the Soviets, had been transformed into an industrial city of not much interest; I met the officers of the Teilkommando there, discussed their arrangements, and didn’t linger. Kislovodsk, on the other hand, turned out to be very pleasant, an old spa town with a faded, outmoded charm, greener and prettier than Pyatigorsk. The main baths were housed in a curious imitation Indian temple, built around the turn of the century; I tasted the water they call Narzan, and found it pleasantly sparkling, but a little too bitter. After my discussions I took a stroll in the large park, then returned to Pyatigorsk.

The officers ate together in the sanatorium’s dining room. Conversation dealt mostly with military events, and most of the diners showed proper optimism. “Now that Schweppenburg’s Panzers have crossed the Terek,” argued Wiens, Müller’s adjunct, a bitter Volksdeutscher who hadn’t set foot outside of the Ukraine until he was twenty-four, “our forces will soon be in Groznyi. After that, Baku is just a matter of time. Most of us will be able to celebrate Christmas at home.”—“General Schweppenburg’s Panzers are making no headway whatsoever, Hauptsturmführer,” I politely remarked. “They’ve barely managed to establish a bridgehead. Soviet resistance in Chechnya-Ingushetia is much stiffer than they expected.”—“Bah,” exclaimed Pfeiffer, a fat red Untersturmführer, “it’s their last gasp. Their divisions are bled dry. They’re just leaving a thin screen in front of us to try to deceive us; but at the first serious thrust, they’ll collapse or cut and run like rabbits.”—“How do you know that?” I asked curiously.—“That’s what they’re saying at the AOK,” Wiens answered for him. “Ever since the beginning of the summer, very few prisoners have been taken in the areas surrounded, like at Millerovo. From that they deduce that the Bolsheviks have exhausted their reserves, as our high command had foreseen.”—“We talked a lot about this aspect of things at the Gruppenstab and with the OKHG,” I said. “Not everyone shares your opinion. Some think that the Soviets learned a lesson from their terrible losses last year, and changed their strategy: they’re withdrawing before us in an orderly way, so as to mount a sudden counteroffensive when our lines of communication are vulnerable and stretched too thin.”—“I think you’re too much of a pessimist, Hauptsturmführer,” grumbled Müller, the head of the Kommando, his mouth full of chicken.—“I’m not a pessimist, Sturmbannführer,” I replied. “I’m just saying that there are different opinions, that’s all.”—“Do you think our lines are stretched too thin?” Bolte asked curiously.—“That depends on what’s actually facing them. The front line of Army Group B follows the course of the Don, where there are still Soviet bridgeheads that we haven’t been able to eliminate, all the way from Voronezh, which the Russians still hold despite all our efforts, down to Stalingrad.”—“Stalingrad won’t last much longer,” said Wiens, who had just emptied his stein. “Our Luftwaffe crushed the defense last month; the Sixth Army will just have to clean up.”—“Maybe. But since all our troops are concentrated on Stalingrad, the flanks of Army Group B are held only by our allies, on the Don and in the steppe. You know as well as I do that the quality of Romanian or Italian troops doesn’t come close to that of the German forces; the Hungarians might be good soldiers, but they have no supplies. Here, in the Caucasus, it’s the same, we don’t have enough men to form a continuous front along the ridges. And between the two Army Groups, the front peters out in the Kalmuk Steppe; we only send patrols out there, and we’re not safe from unpleasant surprises.”—“On that point,” interrupted Dr. Strohschneider, an immensely tall man, whose lips jutted out from under a bushy moustache and who commanded a Teilkommando on assignment in Budyonnovsk, “Hauptsturmführer Aue is not entirely wrong. The steppe is wide open. A bold attack could weaken our position.”—“Oh,” said Wiens as he drank some more beer, “they’ll never be anything but mosquito bites. And if they take a shot at our allies, the German ‘corsetting’ will be more than enough to control the situation.”—“I hope you’re right,” I said.—“In any case,” Dr. Müller sententiously concluded, “the Führer will always be able to impose the right decisions on all those reactionary generals.” That was certainly one way of seeing things. But the conversation had already shifted to the day’s Aktion. I listened in silence. As always, there were the inevitable anecdotes about the way the condemned behaved, how they prayed, cried, sang the Internationale, or were silent, and then commentaries on the problems of organization and our men’s responses. I put up with all this wearily; even the old-timers were only repeating what we’d been hearing for a year, there wasn’t a single authentic reaction in all these boasts and platitudes. One officer, though, stood out because of his particularly prolonged, coarse invectives against the Jews. He was the Leiter IV of the Kommando, Hauptsturmführer Turek, a disagreeable man I’d already met in the Gruppenstab. This Turek was one of the few visceral, obscene anti-Semites, in the Streicher mode, whom I had met in the Einsatzgruppen; at the SP and the SD, traditionally, we cultivated an intellectual kind of anti-Semitism, and these kinds of emotional remarks were poorly viewed. But Turek was afflicted with a remarkably Jewish physique: he had dark curly hair, a prominent nose, sensual lips; behind his back, some people cruelly called him “Jew Süss,” while others insinuated that he had Gypsy blood. He must have suffered from this since childhood; and at the slightest provocation he boasted about his Aryan ancestry: “I know it’s hard to see,” he would begin before explaining that for his recent wedding he had had to carry out exhaustive research and had been able to go back to the seventeenth century; he would go so far as to produce his RuSHA certificate attesting that he was of pure race and fit to procreate German children. I understood all that, and might have pitied him; but his outrageousness and obscenities surpassed all bounds: at the executions, I had heard, he taunted the condemned men for their circumsized penises, and forced women to strip naked so he could tell them that their Jewish vaginas would never produce any more children. Ohlendorf would not have tolerated such behavior, but Bierkamp closed his eyes to it; as for Müller, who should have called him to order, he said nothing. Turek was talking now with Pfeiffer, who directed the firing squads during the action; Pfeiffer was laughing at his jokes and egging him on. Sickened, I excused myself before dessert and went up to my room. My bouts of nausea had started up again; since Voroshilovsk, or earlier maybe, I was again suffering from the brutal retching that had so exhausted me in the Ukraine. I had vomited only once, in Voroshilovsk, after a rather heavy meal, but sometimes I had to make an effort to control the nausea: I coughed a lot, grew red, I found this unseemly and preferred to withdraw.

The next morning, I went to Minvody with the other officers to supervise the Aktion. I watched the arrival and unloading of the train: the Jews seemed surprised at getting out so soon, since they thought they were being transferred to the Ukraine, but they stayed calm. To avoid any agitation, the known Communists were kept under separate guard. In the cluttered, dusty main hall of the glass factory, the Jews had to hand over their clothes, luggage, personal effects, and the keys to their apartments. That provoked a commotion, especially since the factory floor was strewn with broken glass, and the people, in their bare socks, were cutting their feet. I pointed this out to Dr. Bolte, but he shrugged his shoulders. The Orpos were hitting people left and right; the Jews, terrified, would run and sit down in their underwear, the women trying to calm the children. Outside blew a cool breeze; but the sun was beating down on the glass roof, and the heat inside was stifling, as in a greenhouse. A man of a certain age, in distinguished clothes with glasses and a little moustache, approached me. He was holding a very young boy in his arms. He took off his hat and addressed me in perfect German: “Herr Offizier, can I have a few words with you?”—“You speak German very well,” I replied.—“I studied in Germany,” he said with a slightly stiff dignity. “It was once a great country.” He must have been one of the professors from Leningrad. “What do you wish to say to me?” I asked curtly. The little boy, who was holding the man by the neck, was gazing at me with large blue eyes. He was about two. “I know what you are doing here,” the man said coolly. “It is an abomination. I simply want to wish that you’ll survive this war and wake up for twenty years, every night, screaming. I hope you’ll be incapable of looking at your children without seeing ours, the ones you murdered.” He turned his back on me and went away before I could reply. The boy kept staring at me over his shoulder. Bolte came up to me: “What insolence! How dare he? You should have reacted.” I shrugged my shoulders. What did it matter? Bolte knew perfectly well what we were going to do to that man and his child. It was natural that he should want to insult us. I walked away and headed for the exit. Some Orpos were organizing a group of people in their underwear and herding them toward the antitank trench, half a mile away. I watched them move off. The ditch was too far away for the gunfire to be heard; but these people must have suspected what fate was awaiting them. Bolte hailed me: “Are you coming?” Our car passed the group that I had seen leaving; they were shivering from the cold, the women were clutching their children by the hand. Then in front of us was the ditch. Some soldiers and Orpos were standing at ease, jeering; I heard a commotion and shouts. I passed through the group of soldiers and saw Turek, holding a shovel, striking an almost naked man lying on the ground. Other bloody bodies were lying in front of him; farther on, some terrorized Jews were standing under guard. “Vermin!” Turek bellowed, his eyes bulging. “Grovel, Jew!” He hit the man’s head with the sharp edge of the shovel; the man’s skull cracked, spraying Turek’s boots with blood and brains; I clearly saw an eye, knocked out by the blow, fly a few meters away. The men were laughing. I reached Turek in two strides and seized him roughly by the arm: “You’re insane! Stop that at once!” I was trembling. Turek turned on me in a rage and made as if to raise his shovel; then he lowered it and shrugged his arm free. He was trembling too. “Mind your own business,” he spat. His face was purple; he was sweating and rolling his eyes. He threw down the shovel and strode away. Bolte had joined me; with a few curt words, he ordered Pfeiffer, who was standing there breathing heavily, to have the bodies picked up and to continue the execution. “It wasn’t your place to intervene,” he reproached me.—“But that sort of thing is unacceptable!”—“Maybe, but Sturmbannführer Müller is in charge of this Kommando. You’re here only as an observer.”—“Well, where is Sturmbannführer Müller, then?” I was still trembling. I returned to the car and ordered the driver to take me back to Pyatigorsk. I wanted to light a cigarette; but my hands were still shaking, I couldn’t control them and had trouble with my lighter. Finally I managed it and took a few drags before throwing the cigarette out the window. We were passing, from the other direction, the column that was advancing at a walk; from the corner of my eye I saw a teenager break rank and run to pick up my cigarette butt before going back to his place.