Shanlun eyed him levelly. "You're feeling defiant because you're overdue for transfer, and I just came along and took your best prospect away."
"Mairis himself couldn't make me feel Tecton!"
"I know," answered Shanlun kindly.
Fuming, Yuan said, "I'll go make dinner."
Then Laneff had to tell Shanlun of her progress with kerduvon, and her plan to use K/B on herself. "And that's what we're going to do. Azevedo said you know how to use it."
"That's an insane plan!"
"Anything else is insane, too. You've never been junct. What do you know!"
Shanlun squeezed her shoulders. "No hysterics. Listen, there's no reason to contemplate desperation yet. At least not until after Mairis can examine you—and after I've taken care of Azevedo. He's in no shape to do such a high-tolerance job right now."
"And what can Mairis's examination tell you that Azevedo doesn't already know? That I'm junct? That I'm healthy for now? Shanlun, I want this baby—and I want to live to raise her!"
"And that's what Mairis wants, too! You don't know what he went through to arrange this meeting! His advisers say he's losing the election, and this stop isn't going to gain him any votes. With so little time left—"
"Then he shouldn't come."
"Do you honestly think he wouldn't? His own security won't be able to stop him. You mean a lot to him, Laneff, and not just for your project. For you. I asked him; he told me he'd be delighted to accept your pledge to Zeor, if you can survive disjunction. I told him he'd better mean that because I was going to see that you survive! He meant it."
How will Dad feel if I pledge Zeor? He'd lost members before, but never one of his own family. But Sat'htine sin 't really my House anymore, she realized, and her father was Sectuib enough to recognize that kind of personality change.
Shanlun kissed her lightly, aware that she couldn't respond sexually. She let her tentacles ease onto his arms, hyperconsciousness overtaking her. His nager responded gently, masking his core from her even at such close range. Carefully, without denying her the selyn she craved, he disengaged contact, and brought her down to duoconsciousness.
"Shan, I don't know if I can take transfer from a Gen. I'm scared of Gens now. They die too easily!"
"You can't hurt me, or Yuan, no matter what, so relax. This evening, you're safe. And tomorrow we'll face tomorrow."
"How gypsy!" remarked Yuan with mock scorn from the doorway.
"Yes, I suppose," replied Shanlun evenly. "But I don't know what I am anymore, or where I belong, except with Laneff. Anywhere with Laneff."
They ate the good food Yuan had prepared, and then Shanlun went off in search of Azevedo, admonishing Yuan to make sure Laneff got enough sleep. Laneff marveled that Shanlun couldn't conceptualize Yuan as a rival lover, and that Yuan had put all of that aside for Shanlun. No matter what they say or think, they're both Tecton Donors to the core!
But Shanlun hadn't been raised Tecton, and she wondered if his lack of jealousy was simply gypsy-Rathor. She didn't know, but she knew she loved him for it.
Shanlun turned up the next morning for breakfast, reporting that Azevedo had spent most of the night with the tribal leaders and was back there again this morning. She realized the gypsy tribal politics were as complex as any Tecton hassle, and the Rathorites might be held in awe but they weren't bosses by any means.
Yuan was called to the infirmary where his Donor's training could help a Sime who'd been injured, and Laneff took Shanlun down to the lab.
Immediately when she opened the door, Shanlun fell in love with the kittens, who had become socialized through constant handling, though Laneff thought they preferred tentacles to fingers. Shanlun insisted on feeding the cat himself and then sat on the floor and fed the kittens with little drops of milk on the ends of his fingers. She watched, thinking of the way Yuan had virtually ignored the brood, and was reassured she had the right man.
Eventually, Shanlun peeled the last of the kittens from his shirt, put them all to nursing, and rose. "That's the most incredibly marvelous thing. Laneff, somehow, this whole mess is going to work out right!"
"Funny, that's just what Azevedo said when he saw the kittens, and I felt the same way. Illogical, but—"
"No, it's not illogical. Life has a certain symmetry, and when one can find the axis of reflection, lots of unrelated things form patterns that make sense. And that's an intoxicating beauty that's everywhere about us! Haven't you seen the candlebox yet? The symbol of Thiritees?"
And that led her into a discussion of her discoveries and her hypotheses. Just being within his nager cleared her head of the fog of need enough that she felt she was making some sense.
Azevedo found them there, having gathered Yuan from his work.
"The tribes won't go for it. They don't pay much attention to World elections, and don't know who Mairis is other than Sectuib in Zeor, and they don't care.' He shrugged. "I could have told you that last night."
"I was sure you could sway them," said Shanlun.
"I tried. It's going to look bad when they turn him away."
"But Mairis has never claimed gypsy support, and everyone knows we keep seclusion."
"Maybe you shouldn't have told the tribes," said Laneff. "Mairis could've slipped through before anyone knew."
Azevedo and Shanlun shook their heads. "That alley is guarded. No one gets in without being recognized!"
She looked at Yuan and remembered his arrival. He could have been tossed back out in the gutter. She wasn't sure she liked gypsies anymore.
Azevedo sighed. "We've got to get word to Mairis." Yuan said, "Surely you could get through to him by phone, Shanlun. They know you're alive."
"His phone operators know me, true—but the call would be traced. I'm in trouble for leaving without a security pass, without waiting for a proper Tecton Assignment for transfer! Those paranoids will probably be thinking I've gone to spill state secrets or set up a trap for Mairis. Anything I might say would be interpreted in that light. Besides—our purpose was to get Mairis and Laneff together." He nibbled a fingernail. "Azevedo, what exactly is her condition now?" "You're not thinking of exposing her to that crowd! The streets will
be full of people—even nondonor Gens!" "Suppose she has transfer before Mairis gets here?" "No!" Laneff objected. "I'm going to disjunct this time!" Ignoring that, Shanlun asked, "Would she abort off a Gen?" The channel had zlinned Laneff deeply on many occasions.
"Maybe," he admitted. Then to Laneff, he added, "Not as big a possibility as you think. The baby is draining you. You're a mother.
You'll do what you must for your child to survive." "I could do the transfer," said Yuan. He overrode objections to add,
"I know I botched it the first time, but I'd do a lot better this time." The similarity to Jarmi's attitude put Laneff off at once, even not considering that Yuan couldn't handle kerduvon.
"No. Please, no. Azevedo, can't a renSime get channel's transfer around here without begging for it?"
"I told you, if that's what you really want it's available for the asking, and gladly given."
"So I'm asking, but I'm also insisting on kerduvon and K/B. I've made up my mind."
They didn't argue, but she felt their adamant refusal. And she was afraid Yuan would offer to try it. At the moment, she could decline. But would she be able to resist him later?
That evening, Azevedo went again to the tribe leaders, insisting the effort was doomed, but trying anyway.
Shanlun went with Azevedo for their transfer appointment. Laneff spent the time pacing and fretting. She'd had another go-round with the adamant channel and Shanlun. Where they'd been gently putting her off before, they were now insisting the entire thing was out of the question, and any self-respecting scientist should know that. As she plunged into real need, they weren't humoring her anymore. They were trying to control her firmly.