“No.”

His head jerked up at the unfamiliar edge in her voice.

“No, because you’ve got it all wrong. I don’t want to leave. I never wanted to leave, except-” She still didn’t know how to say it, she didn’t know what she would do if Nev said he didn’t love her, not like that, as a sister maybe, as a friend, but not like that.

“Except what?” The tiredness was gone from his voice.

“Oh, damn.” She rubbed at her forehead; bits of blood flaked off under her fingers. “I wasn’t lying to Sir Jasper, Nev. ”

“You-you weren’t?” Nev sounded as if he were having difficulty speaking.

“No. I-that is, of course I was trying to distract him, but I was perfectly sincere. I am mad about you. I never thought love like this was real, but it is and it hurts and I can’t bear the thought of going away, but I can’t bear the thought of staying either-”

“Why on earth not?”

She could barely breathe, but the words kept coming anyway. “I told myself I was being strong, going; but I was being cowardly. I was frightened of telling you the truth. I didn’t want to stand here like I am now and wait for you to tell me that you don’t feel the same way. I know I told you I wanted a marriage based on comradeship and mutual esteem. I know we made a bargain. I know we made vows. And I’m sorry I’m not strong enough to keep them. I made that list, but none of them were the right things, the important things-you’ve done all that, you’ve been wonderful and I don’t know what I’ll do if you don’t feel the same way, I can’t bear it-”

Her nails were pressing into her palm until it hurt, until surely she was drawing blood, and then Nev was beside her and he was holding her hands in his and kissing her fingers. “Don’t, Penny, don’t, I love you too, I swear, don’t cry again-”

She giggled at that, but her chest hurt too. “How do you love me?”

“I love you to distraction,” he whispered in her ear. “My heart burns within me; I have no peace. I am so enamored I know not whether I am on horseback or on foot-”

He was quoting Malory. He was perfect. She laughed, her eyes stinging. “Do you mean it?”

He stepped back for a moment. “Have I ever lied to you, Penelope?”

She thought about it, and was surprised by the answer. “No. No, you never have.”

“Have I ever paid you in Spanish coin?”

“No,” she said again, giddy with it. He hadn’t, Nev had never lied to her, he wouldn’t, so all those things he had said to her, they must have been true-

“Will you stay?”

“Yes,” she promised, “yes.”

“Forever?”

“Well, you know what they say: a Penny saved is a Penny earned.”

Nev whooped and crushed her to him, and Penelope was definitely about to cry again when the door opened and Lady Bedlow walked in.

Penelope tried to pull back, but Nev held her tight against his side and she gave up, smiling like a fool. “Lady Bedlow, what can I do for you?”

“It’s Louisa,” Lady Bedlow said. “And I couldn’t wait downstairs, I had to see for myself that you were all right, oh, Nate, you scared me half to death! You look dreadful, are you sure you’re not hurt?” She did look white and shaken, and Penelope tried again to pull away so that Nev could go to his mother.

His hand was firm and unmoving on her hip. “Yes, I’m sure. What about Louisa, Mama?”

“She’s back,” Lady Bedlow said. “She and Percy.”

Nev groaned. “Oh, for God’s sake. Where?”

They were waiting on the front steps. “We didn’t want to go in; you had forbidden me the house-” Percy stopped short. “Good God, Nev, what’s happened to you?”

“Don’t worry, it’s Sir Jasper’s,” Nev said.

Louisa turned quite pale. “Oh, Nate-”

“It had nothing to do with you, Louisa.” Nev did think Louisa’s elopement might have been the penultimate straw for Sir Jasper, but he could hardly blame her for their neighbor’s insanity, and anyway he couldn’t be angry with anyone at the moment. “I thought you would be halfway to Gretna by now. Did you throw a wheel?”

“I made him turn back after the first twenty miles. I couldn’t do that to you, Nate, I couldn’t-”

His heart, already overflowing, threatened to burst. “Thank you, Louisa. Would you like to announce your engagement tomorrow?”

Louisa tensed, looking dubiously at his blood-spattered waistcoat. “To…?”

He swallowed. “Sir Jasper’s dead, Louisa. I know I haven’t been the best of brothers, but how could you think I wanted you to marry him, anyway? He offered when we were still in London, and I turned him down.”

“I told you,” Percy said to Louisa in a superior tone.

Nev smiled at his friend. “Your engagement to Percy, naturally. But it will have to be a long one, Louisa. A year or two at least. You can live here in the meantime-”

He didn’t get farther than that, because Louisa and her new white dress flew into his arms, heedless of dirt and blood.

Penelope and Nev smiled at each other over their eggs and toast. Penelope eyed the honey jar thoughtfully, reaching for it just as Edward walked in. She drew back her hand with a sigh.

Edward fidgeted with the brim of his hat. “I just-I just wanted to say good-bye.”

Penelope glanced at Nev, who nodded. “All right,” she said. “I’ll see you out.”

She followed him in silence to the door, where his trunk was already lashed to the coach. On the first stair he turned. “I’m glad you’re safe, Penelope.”

“I know. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” he said bitterly. “If you had had to rely on me, I suppose you would be dead.”

She gave Edward a crooked smile. “Well, it’s true I was rather irked when I heard Miss Raeburn’s story, but you thought you were acting for the best. I don’t blame you, truly-”

“Of course not. You’re far too good-natured for that.”

Penelope thought again how little Edward really knew her.

“But I blame myself,” he said in a low, troubled voice. “I can’t help wondering-did I really believe she was delirious? I was angry with you, I think. I was angry that you didn’t love me. I told her you had a husband to take care of you, and I felt so spiteful-what if I knew? What if I knew you were in danger and I didn’t help you because I was angry?” His knuckles were white on the handle of his valise.

Penelope reached out and touched his arm. “You didn’t. I know you didn’t. Edward-I didn’t know this either until recently, but it’s all right to be angry. It really is. If you’re afraid of your emotions, it only makes them more dangerous. You have to-you have to let yourself feel.” She put her hand over his heart. “I know you, Edward. There’s nothing in here that you have to be afraid of.”

He looked down at her hand. “I wish I could be as sure.”

Even though she had been half wishing he would go for days now, she said, “Stay another few days, Edward. I don’t want you to leave like this.”

He smiled at her. “I’d only be in the way. I know that.”

“You’re still my best friend. Nothing will ever change that.” A thought struck her. The doctor had said that Amy’s exertions had weakened her greatly, and recommended she not be moved from the Grange. Penelope was surprised at how little she minded; and Amy’s pleasure at being back in a feather bed had been hard to resist. “Besides, Miss Raeburn is going mad from boredom, and if you’d sit with her a little it would be doing me the greatest favor.”

He hesitated, and then-Penelope hid a grin-blushed. “Are you sure?”

She nodded.

“I suppose I could read to her…”

Amy must be used to Nev ’s reading. “Just talk to her. I don’t think-I don’t think people have really listened to her enough in her life.”

“I certainly didn’t,” Edward muttered, and asked the coachman to take down his trunk and send back the carriage.

The door opened, and Penelope slipped back into the breakfast room. “Now, where was I?” she asked, reaching for the honey.

Nev hastily swallowed his bite of muffin and put his napkin on the table, in case Penelope should decide to sit in his lap.