I understood that. But I also understood that I still had to kill Dekker. But now my shoulder was dislocated, and it would only get worse if I continued to wrestle. The naadam, for me, was over.

Chapter Twenty-one

I watched from the edge of the arena as Zolbin won his second match. The thrill was bittersweet. I knew I shouldn’t be pissed. I had done what I’d come here to do and succeeded. But it was over. It had to be.

Dr. Baatar managed to pop my joint back into place, and I managed not to scream during the process. It was a minor victory, if a hollow one. I didn’t feel sorry for myself. How many men got to do something like this? And I’d managed to win with multiple injuries. In the past, I would’ve considered this a perfect experience.

So why didn’t I consider it that now? The boys were advancing and I was happy for them. Zerleg was up in the stands, flirting with Opia. I could only guess that they were talking about poetry by the way she looked at him. Good for him. Zolbin was off with his friends. Yalta made him swear off the beer, but I knew his buddies would be celebrating for him tonight.

Back at the ger, the three of us sat on our cots dissecting the boys’ matches as I helped them plot their moves for the next day. I promised to cheer for them, and Yalta convinced me to be on the field to help him coach. That made me feel good. It also made me realize that I was no longer twenty-one. Hell, I’d be forty soon.

Yalta had accepted the passage of time and moved gracefully from athlete into his role as coach. When would I do the same thing? Was Veronica right? How long was I going to travel around the world, fighting men younger and better trained than me?

Whoa. This idea shook me to my core. I was aging. Me. In fact, I was considered old in most of the countries I trained in. And while my experience had helped me win today, my body had given out on me. Granted, the concussion was not an age thing, but the shoulder was. I listened to the boys as they fell asleep, oblivious to all but victory and glory. They weren’t even twenty, but here in Mongolia they were men. Back in the United States they would still be mostly pampered by their parents.

I remembered that age. I was invincible. Bulletproof. And while forty wasn’t old back home, men my age usually settled for softball and golf, not fullcontact sports. Here, people were more philosophical about aging. They embraced it as the next stage in life…one to be respected and revered.

When would I have respect for my own age? Was that what Veronica was trying to tell me? Hell, she was in her late twenties. Why would she worry about my age?

I hadn’t seen her since she left the stands after Zerleg defeated Dekker. That worried me, but I didn’t check up on her, because I assumed Odgerel was in contact. I wanted Ronnie to come to me. I wanted her to say she trusted my judgment and that this was my life to do as I wished. But she hadn’t. There wasn’t so much as one word from her.

Oh, well. I had pretty much decided it was over anyway, right? There was no way I could reconcile our divergent lives. No, it was better this way. After tomorrow, she’d hop back on a plane to her little ivory tower, thinking of this as just an adventure before settling down in a classroom somewhere.

It saddened me to think this was the only living she would actually do, but it was her decision to make. Just as I owned my life, she owned hers. It was no longer fair for me to judge her or tell her what to do. There. That was mature. Yay, me.

Exhaustion pressed on my chest like a weight. I’d been awake since before dawn. I had wrestled and been broken in both body and soul. The pain I felt emotionally had outstripped the physical pain. Sleep wasn’t going to be defeated, and I gave in willingly.

I woke up early the next morning, feeling sore and stiff, but excited by the boys’ spirits. Today was the last day of the naadam, and it was possible they could win, returning to their families in victory and impressing a girl or two.

I gave them the last of my protein bars and, after several cups of tea, I started warming them up with exercises. I put on a pair of khaki pants, my gutals, a T-shirt and my deel, and coached them until Yalta arrived. I saw Ronnie leave with the others to head to the stands. She did not look at me.

We arrived in the stadium, and the boys translated for Yalta and me as we watched the other matches, sizing up the competition. I felt honored that Yalta considered me his assistant. I tried to be helpful and respectful. Zolbin was up soon, and we were watching his opponent warm up.

“Look.” I pointed at him for Yalta and spoke in Mongolian. “He favors his left leg. I wonder if he injured his right one yesterday?” Sure enough, as he turned, we saw a large bruise darkening his right calf. Yalta told Zolbin to use his foot to hook him on his sore leg and bring him down. When it was Zolbin’s turn, the match lasted all of one minute.

I felt better standing in the sun and being useful. The day’s competitors were seasoned, and these bouts took longer. Zerleg barely managed to squeak through his first event, but he won and that was what was important. The boys were scheduled for their second competitions at the same time before noon. Yalta and I split up, and Zerleg and I walked to the opposite end of the field for his match.

“Nervous?” I asked as I stripped off his deel.

He was looking anxiously at the stands. “Yes.”

I admired the honesty of these people.

“Don’t win for Opia,” I said. “Win for you.” When I noticed he was still staring at the bleachers, I added, “Or don’t win, and you can spend the rest of the day charming her with poetry.”

Zerleg laughed at this as the judges indicated they were ready. I stood still as the kid did his eagle dance around me, and it hit me what an honor this was. He considered me his zazul and was showing me his respect. I felt a sense of pride others might feel when their son hit a home run or daughter aced that spelling bee. Wow. I didn’t see that coming.

The opponents squared off, and I had to stow my feeling of euphoria. It was time to help him from the sidelines. And strangely enough, I really enjoyed it.

“Watch his left arm!” I called. Zerleg didn’t have to acknowledge this. I knew he understood. I don’t know how I knew, but I did. Zerleg shifted to the right as his opponent tried to sweep his legs using his left arm. The dodge worked. The young men locked their shoulders and began to strain. They appeared evenly matched for strength. Zerleg would have to win on his brains this time.

Chudruk appeared at my side and the two of us continued to shout encouragement. We watched as the two wrestlers moved back and forth, appearing to rock each other. Neither side gave one inch. This was going to be a long match. As Chudruk made suggestions, I realized that all I’d had was one minor glimpse into the world of this sport. There was so much more I would need to devote my life living here to learn. I froze on the spot.

Zerleg went for his opponent’s knee. This was the big moment. His competitor somehow managed to step back, saving himself. Zerleg had overestimated his strength and stumbled forward, his right hand catching the ground. It was over.

“You did great, kid.” I patted him on the back.

Chudruk smiled at his nephew. “You made us proud!”

Zerleg grinned. It wasn’t all about winning here. He had done well. And his prize was a pretty, educated girl beaming at him from the stands. I noticed that as he walked over to her, he didn’t even bother to cover up with his deel. Tonight he would be celebrating a victory of sorts.