She says, "You're well brought up and polite. And you speak our language very well. Did your mother stay on the other side?"

"No, she died during the war."

"Poor little thing. Come, we have to go to the commissioner's. Don't be scared, the policeman's nice, he's a friend of my husband's."

At the station she tells the policeman, "Here's the son of the man who tried to cross yesterday. My husband will come by at eleven. I'd be glad to look after the child while they're coming to a decision. Perhaps he'll have to be sent back because he's a minor."

The policeman says, "We'll see. In any case I'll send him back to you for lunch."

The woman leaves and the policeman hands the child a questionnaire.

"Fill it out. If you don't understand any of the questions, ask me."

When the child hands the questionnaire back the policeman reads it out loud: "Full name, Claus T. Age eighteen. You're not very big for your age."

"It's because I was ill as a child."

"Do you have an identity card?"

"No, nothing. My father and I burned all our papers before we left."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Something about being caught. My father told me to do it."

"Your father stepped on a land mine. If you'd been walking with him you'd have been blown up too."

"I didn't walk with him. He told me to wait until he was on the other side, then to follow him at a distance."

"Why did you cross in the first place?"

"It was my father who wanted to. They were putting him in prison all the time and watching him. He didn't want to live there anymore. And he took me with him because he didn't want me to be alone."

"Your mother?" "She died in a bombing during the war. Afterward I lived with my grandmother, but she died too."

"So you don't have anyone left over there. No one who will call for you to be returned. Except the authorities, if you committed any crime."

"I haven't committed any crimes."

"Good. All we have to do now is wait for my superiors to decide. For the time being you're not allowed to leave the village. Here. Sign this paper there."

The child signs the statement, in which there are three lies.

The man he crossed the frontier with was not his father.

The child is not eighteen, but fifteen.

His name is not Claus.

Some weeks later a man from the city comes to the border guard's house. He says to the child, "My name is Peter N. I will take care of you from now on. Here is your identity card. All it needs is your signature."

The child looks at the card. His birthdate has been moved back three years, his first name is "Claus," and his nationality is "None."

The very same day Peter and Claus take the bus to the city. Along the way Peter asks questions:

"What did you do before, Claus? Were you a student?"

"A student? No. I worked in my garden, tended my animals, played my harmonica in bars, carried travelers' bags for them."

"And what would you like to do in the future?"

"I don't know. Nothing. Why is it so necessary to do anything?"

"One has to make a living."

"That I know. I've always done that. I'm happy to do any sort of work to make a little money." "A little money? Through any sort of work? You could get a scholarship and go to school."

"I don't want to go to school."

"And yet you should, even just a little bit, to learn the language better. You speak it well enough, but you also have to know how to read and write it. You'll live in a youth house with other students. You'll have your own room. You'll take language courses and after that we'll see."

Peter and Claus spend the night at a hotel in a big city. In the morning they take a train to a smaller city situated between a forest and a lake. The youth house is on a steep street in the middle of a garden near the center of town.

A couple, the director of the house and his wife, meet them. They bring Claus to his room. The window looks out onto the park.

Claus asks, "Who takes care of the garden?"

The director's wife says, "I do, but the children help out a great deal."

Claus says, "I'll help you too. Your flowers are very pretty."

The director's wife says, "Thank you, Claus. You'll be completely free here, but you have to be back in at eleven every night at the latest. You'll clean your own room. You can borrow a vacuum cleaner from the super."

The director says, "If you have any problems, talk to me."

Peter says, "You'll be comfortable here, won't you, Claus?"

Claus is also shown the dining room, the showers, and the common room. He is introduced to the boys and girls there.

Later Peter shows Claus the town, then brings him to his house.

"You can find me here if you need me. This is my wife, Clara."

The three of them have lunch together, then spend the afternoon shopping for clothes and shoes.

Claus says, 'I've never had this many clothes in my life."

Peter smiles. "You can throw away your old coat and boots. You'll be getting some money each month for school expenses and pocket money. If you need anything more, tell me. Your board and tuition are paid for, of course."

Claus asks, "Who's giving me all this money? You?"

"No, I'm just your tutor. The money comes from the state. Since you have no parents, the state is obligated to take care of you until you're in a position to make a living on your own."

Claus says, "I hope that will happen as soon as possible."

"In a year you'll decide if you want to go to school or take an apprenticeship."

"I don't want to go to school."

"We'll see, we'll see. Have you no ambition at all, Claus?"

"Ambition? I don't know. All I want is peace to write."

"To write? What? You want to be a writer?"

"Yes. You don't have to go to school to be a writer. You just have to know how to write without too many mistakes. I want to learn how to write in your language properly, but that's all I need."

Peter says, "Writing is no way to earn a living."

Claus says, "No, I know. But I can work during the day and quietly write at night. That's what I did at Grandmother's."

"What? You've already written something?"

"Yes. I've filled a couple of notebooks. They're wrapped up in my old coat. When I've learned to write your language, I'll translate them and show them to you."

They are in his room at the youth house. Claus unties the string around his old coat. He sets five school notebooks on the table. Peter opens them one after the other.

'I'm very curious to know what's in these notebooks. Is it a journal of some kind?"

Claus says, "No, it's all lies." "Lies?"

"Yes. Made-up things. Stories that aren't true but might be." Peter says, "Hurry up and learn to write our language, Claus."

We arrive at the capital around seven in the evening. The weather has grown worse; it's cold and the raindrops have turned into ice crystals.

The embassy building is in the middle of a large garden. I am brought to a well-heated room with a double bed and a bathroom. It's like a suite in a luxury hotel.

A waiter brings me a meal. I eat very little of it. The meal is not like the kind to which I grew reaccustomed in the little town. I set the tray down outside my door. A man is seated in the corridor a few yards away.

I shower and brush my teeth with a brand-new toothbrush I found in the bathroom. I also find a comb and, on my bed, a pair of pajamas. I go to bed.

My pains come back. I wait for a while but they become unbearable. I get up, look through my suitcase, find my medications, take two pills, and return to bed. Instead of going away the pains intensify. I drag myself to the door and open it; the man is still sitting there. I say to him, "A doctor, please. I'm ill. My heart."