Monster wagged his tail.

After dinner A.J. sat down with her aunt’s manuscript.

What would Diantha have thought about the choices A.J. had met since inheriting Sacred Balance and the new life that had come with it?

Safe to say many of her choices would not have been her aunt’s.

Life is loss. If we allow ourselves to care, to love, we must accept the pain that inevitably follows. Nothing lasts forever however much we wish otherwise. Yoga teaches us to concentrate on the here and now, on living within the moment. We focus on each breath we draw, and as we focus we become present and grounded in our bodies. Breath is the bridge between what is now and what is not. Grief is part of what is not, and when we are truly living in the moment we are releasing our grief and concentrating only what is now.

A.J. undressed and washed, climbing into the bed that had once been her aunt’s. She listened to the sounds of the house settling down for the night, the crickets outside the window, the owl in the peach tree out back inquiring after his supper.

She wondered what Jake was doing.

Nine

The parking lot was full and classes were in session by the time A.J. arrived at Sacred Balance on Thursday morning. It appeared to be business as usual at the studio. She was glad of that, of course, but there was a tiny insecure part of her that wished things weren’t running quite so smoothly without her.

She was moving slowly, but she was moving, and that was the good news. The bad news was there was no possible way she was going to be able to conduct her classes. That morning’s attempt at Sun Salutation had made that much clear.

In a spirit of optimism A.J. had unfolded her yoga mat in the front room with its picture window view of the sun-flushed meadow. It was still a little too chilly these spring mornings to use the back patio as she did in the summer. A.J. sat down on her mat, breathing quietly.

Soft inhalations.

Soft exhalations.

She gathered herself to rise, and her back immediately spasmed. It was all A.J. could do not to cry. Why was this happening to her?

She struggled with her emotions for a few seconds and then was forced to admit that walking up the long staircase at Yoga Meridian had probably not been a good idea, and diving out the window of Dicky Masrai’s apartment had probably been an even worse one.

Once again she was fighting the very tenets of yoga by trying to force her body to do as she wished rather than what was sensible.

Accordingly she arrived at the studio in a somewhat chastened frame of mind.

“Howdy there, stranger!” Emma greeted her from behind the front desk when A.J. pushed through the glass doors. “We weren’t expecting you.”

Emma was a short, slender, sixty-something black woman. Originally, concerned that Emma would not have the necessary energy or attitude for manning the front desk in a yoga studio, A.J. had been a little hesitant to hire her. It had turned out to be one of the best decisions she’d made. She was especially conscious of this as she remembered her visit to Yoga Meridian where every instructor and employee seemed to be under thirty and genetically airbrushed.

“I thought I’d try to catch up on some paperwork. I’m not really here,” A.J. replied.

“Very metaphysical,” Emma said. “Do I hold your calls?”

“No. Put them through.”

There were not many calls, however, and A.J. was able to drink her tea and go through her e-mail in relative peace.

The harmonious sounds of cheerful voices and laughter in the main lobby informed her when the first sessions of the morning ended. She glanced up as someone-Lily-tapped on her door.

Ignoring that inward sinking feeling, A.J. smiled. “Come in,” she invited. “How are things going?”

“Smoothly. Never better, as a matter of fact,” Lily said with her usual tact. Belatedly, she asked, “How’s your back?”

“It’s getting there.”

Lily’s dark eyes appraised A.J. shrewdly. “I’m a little surprised to see you here, frankly. Are you sure this is a wise decision?”

“I won’t be able to teach my courses, obviously, but there’s no reason for me not to catch up on the administrative side of things.”

Lily nodded, a little frown between her black eyebrows.

“Is there a problem?” A.J. asked, knowing it was a tactical mistake even as the words left her lips.

Lily drummed her fingers on the arm of her chair. “Since you’ve brought it up, yes,” she said at last. “Don’t you think it’s a little absurd for someone with a bad back to be running a yoga studio? You’re not exactly a great advertisement for us.”

A.J. stared at the other woman in disbelief. “‘Absurd’?”

Lily inclined her head.

“First of all, my back is much better these days, thanks to yoga, which should be some of the best advertisement around. Secondly, there’s a lot more to the Sacred Balance philosophy than physical fitness.”

“But that’s my point,” Lily said in the patient tone of one instructing a not-too-bright student. “Diantha left an entire business empire. I don’t see why you feel it’s necessary for you to focus the majority of your attention on the studio when there are so many other divisions that could keep you entertained.”

“Keep me entertained?”

Lily had the grace to look chagrined. “Maybe I didn’t put that as diplomatically as I could, but we both know that the reality is-thanks to your inheritance-unlike the rest of us, you no longer have to work. So doesn’t it make more sense for you to concentrate on some aspect of Diantha’s empire that you’re better suited for? Your background is marketing. Wouldn’t it be better for all concerned if you used those skills to develop and market our sportswear and other merchandise lines-or the plans for organic foods? Those things have all been completely neglected since Di’s passing.”

“It was Aunt Di’s wish that we co-manage. That we work together in the studio.”

Lily was shaking her head, repudiating this. “I loved Di, but there’s no question she was eccentric. And leaving you Sacred Balance had to be one of the most eccentric decisions of her life. In fact I firmly believe that if Di had lived-”

“If I were you, I’d stop there.”

Lily said coolly, “Why? We both know you can’t fire me. We’re stuck with each other. Until one of us quits.”

“I’ve offered to buy out your interest in the studio.”

“I’m not going to sell out. This studio is my life.”

“Then I’m not sure what it is you want.”

The intercom buzzed and Emma said, “A.J., your momma’s on line one.”

“Thanks, Emma.” A.J. continued to wait for Lily to state the true purpose of her visit, but Lily said nothing, simply staring at her in silent challenge.

The call rang through. After the second ring, A.J. said, “I have to take this.”

Still weirdly, defiantly mute, Lily rose and left the office. She closed the door with a little bang.

A.J. realized her hands were shaking. Lily got under her skin like no one else on the planet, and A.J. wasn’t even sure exactly why. She gave herself a moment and then picked up the phone.

Before she could speak, Elysia said, “Maddie has invited us to stay the weekend.”

Her thoughts still on the argument with Lily, it took A.J. a few moments to register what her mother was saying. “Medea Sutherland has-Mother, what did you tell her?”

“Nothing any reasonable person could possibly object to,” Elysia protested. “I merely said she’d been on my mind lately, which is perfectly true. She popped out with the invitation with nary a nudge from me. I think she’s lonely.”

Be careful what you wish for, Maddie, thought A.J.

“What did she say about Dicky?”

“Nothing. I didn’t ask, and she didn’t volunteer any information.”