He mounted his horse and began back towards Moscow at a gentle trot. Standing in the place where I had last seen Maksim alive and watching Dmitry depart, I was filled with the premonition that this would also be the last time I saw Dmitry. I recalled the miscommunication of my last words with Maks and the casualness of my farewell to Vadim. I knew that I could not let Dmitry leave quite like this.

I climbed on to my own horse and caught up with him. Perhaps if I had pleaded with him then, I would have been able to persuade him to stay with me. His joy at knowing I wanted him would have overcome his fear. But the truth was, I didn't want him with me. I just wanted him to leave on better terms.

'Take this,' I said, taking the icon from around my neck and handing it to him.

'It's no protection from them,' he said. 'You know that.'

'Do you think I'd be giving it away if it were?' I laughed, and was pleased to see something of a smile in him. 'It's a symbol, not a talisman.'

'A symbol of what?'

I did not have an answer. He put the chain around his neck and tucked the pendant into his shirt. 'When you're in Moscow, go to Ordynsky Lane,' I told him.

He looked puzzled. 'And why's that?'

'That's where Boris and Natalia are.'

He raised an eyebrow and then smiled at me. 'Thank you, Aleksei. I hope to see you soon.'

'You will,' I replied. We shook hands, and then he departed with the same steady trot of a few minutes before, but with his head held inestimably higher.

I rode back to the hut and packed my few possessions; then I turned and headed south towards Kurilovo.

It was around noon the following day, the twenty-eighth of October, when I finally reached the village. The blizzards of the past few days were beginning to abate, leaving the whole landscape as a desert of white. The crossroads where I was due to meet with Iuda that evening was a little to the south of the village. The sun was already low on the horizon by the time I inspected it. Already I could see a narrow crescent moon in the sky and even that would be following its brighter cousin round to the other side of the world before long.

As I had remembered, the crossroads was at the top of a slight hill. To the north, the buildings of the village were small and distant. To the east and west, I could see down the roads even further. The fields between the roads were smooth, blank and white. Anyone attempting to approach the crossroads by them would not only be hampered by the deep snow, but would also be seen long before they got anywhere near. The closest cover was to the south – a small coppice of trees which spanned the road almost a verst away – still far enough so that any approach from there would be seen long in advance of its arrival.

The crossroads itself was undistinguished, but for one thing – from a makeshift gibbet hung the gently swaying body of a hanged man. It was stiff from the cold and caked with snow, but I only needed to brush a little of the snow aside to discover beneath the dark-blue uniform of a French infantry captain.

I went back to the village and sat in the sole hostelry, drinking vodka until the appointed hour.

'I judge from your sword that you're a military man,' said a voice from a nearby table. I turned. It was just a couple of peasants, bored with each other's conversation and looking for an alternative. The one who had spoken was in his forties, with straggly, long red hair and bloodshot green eyes. His friend – possibly his father – was well past sixty. He had few hairs left on his head and even fewer teeth left in it.

'That's right,' I replied brusquely. My thoughts had been happily settled upon the image of Domnikiia, and I was irritated to be distracted from them.

'A bit of a forgetful one though,' said the older man.

'How do you mean?' I asked.

'Forgot your uniform and turned up two weeks late for the battle,' he laughed.

'You know – the battle. At Maloyaroslavets,' the first man explained, eager to start a conversation. Maloyaroslavets was the site of the first battle between the Russian and French armies after the latter had quitted Moscow. Like Borodino, it had been an encounter in which Bonaparte's tactical victory was to assist his strategic defeat. Though they were the victors, the French were turned back north, to retreat west along the road down which they had advanced – a road which they had already sucked dry of supplies. The town of Maloyaroslavets was almost forty versts away from Kurilovo, but it would be the closest to actual conflict that they had ever come, so it was not unnatural that it should become to the locals 'the battle'.

'I'm afraid I didn't fight there,' I said. 'I haven't been in a battle since Borodino.'

'Well, Bonaparte's probably back beyond Borodino by now,' laughed the second man. 'Maybe you should get back over there and relive your glory days.' These were the men for whom I had spent my adult life fighting. They had probably never left this village, certainly never gone outside the oblast, and yet they could criticize me for what they saw as my cowardice. That is the cross that must be borne by every spy, I heard Vadim's voice silently tell me. He is never given laurels – he must wear his medals inside his tunic. And what choice do they have? They're serfs, Maks now joined in. If they have fought, it was at their master's command. If they stayed home, it was that their masters preferred farmers to fighters, not that they preferred life to death.

There was no madness in my listening to the voices of my departed friends, only pleasure. Even when they were alive, I could at any time have conjured up their voices and their opinions. I had encountered few problems that could not be alleviated by a simple question along the lines of 'What would Maks think?' or, just as often, 'What would Marfa think?' Now, with Maks and Vadim at least, it was the only chance I got to hear them. Even if it was madness, it was a madness I would gladly choose.

I slammed my bottle of vodka down on their table with my left hand, making clear for them to see the wounds that I had earned on the Danube. 'Have a drink on me, why don't you?' I suggested. Whether it was my generosity or my manifest war wounds I do not know, but their mood towards me warmed a little.

'Where did that happen?' asked the older one, once he'd poured himself a vodka, indicating my missing fingers.

'In Bulgaria – Silistria.'

'In a battle?'

'That's right,' I lied, but I couldn't prevent the true story from forcing its way into my mind.

It had not been in a battle, but in a gaol. After Prince Bagration had decided to abandon the siege of Silistria, myself and a few others were sent into the city to spy. We'd split up, and I found myself staying in a hostel, with half a dozen or more men to a room, all of them locals. It was handily located right against the city wall, so all I had to do was drop messages out of the window at an appointed time – midnight each night. One of my comrades had simply to creep over, pick up the message and take the precious information to Bagration.

I don't know if it was me or the courier who got sloppy, but on the third night, it wasn't his hands that the small piece of paper, covered in Cyrillic and wrapped round a stone, fell into, but the hands of a Turkish patrol. There was nothing of much interest in it, even if they could break the simple code and then read the Russian, but they had seen which window it fell from.

Minutes later, Turkish soldiers – Janissaries – rushed into the room. It was easy enough for me to work out from their conversation what had happened, but the problem for them was that there were seven of us in the room. Any one could have dropped the message – and I'd made sure that none of the others had seen me go to the window.