“Did you and Patrick discuss having a family? Do you feel that you missed out on that?”

“We did in a general sense. It was important to him to have someone to carry on the family name, but I never got the impression that he was all that interested in personally being a father.”

“And you?”

“I didn’t know what kind of parent I would make. Frankly, the idea terrified me for most of my twenties. I’m sure any shrink would tell me it’s because of my upbringing and they’d very probably be right. We were both pretty career focused, so it was an easy discussion to put off.”

“And now? Any regrets?”

She started to say something, then stopped. “What about you? You’re still in that stage where families get started.”

“You’re forty, not eighty. Families can start at any time.”

Her look instantly shuttered, though she held his gaze. “Is that a goal of yours? I mean, it’s the natural thing, so not surprising, just-”

“Kirby, I have the same fears as you do, for probably even more reasons than you do. And I definitely don’t want to know what any shrink would tell me about the long-lasting effects of my childhood. I think it was a triumph just to get myself raised. I don’t know that I was ever anxious about raising anyone else. Don’t let that spook you, okay?”

“I wasn’t spooked-okay,” she added, when he gave her a look that said he clearly knew otherwise. “Maybe a little, but it’s a knee-jerk reaction. You see, I was worried about it, but not anymore. I-I can’t have kids.”

“No?”

She shook her head. “Not by choice. It’s a long story, but I found out about eight years ago that I have a few genetic issues that make carrying a baby pretty much impossible.”

“Did Patrick know about it?”

She nodded. “He was with me when I found out. We had-well, we had a little pregnancy scare once. I’d missed a few months, but the home tests were negative, so I made an appointment to find out what was going on. Turns out my plumbing isn’t exactly normal. Anyway, I was fine, but the end result was finding out that I probably won’t ever get pregnant.”

“How did he take the news?”

“Well, or so I thought. I mean, like I said, he had made a big deal out of carrying on the family name. He mentioned adopting a few times, but we quickly got absorbed back into our work lives and it never really came up again.”

He ducked down to keep her gaze when she would have glanced away. “But?”

“But nothing; there’s nothing more to tell. I know it makes me sound like less than a woman, maybe, to say that I’m okay with that future. I never ruled out adoption, but then things turned out like they did, I moved here…I’m forty now, and…well, I made peace with it.”

“What else?”

“Nothing else.” She finally sighed when he kept staring. “Okay, okay, so the personal assistant he was with when I walked in on them…they’re married. She’s already had their first child by now, at least I assume so since she was pregnant when I left Colorado.”

“Ah. Fresh start a few thousand miles away. Good choice.”

“I thought so.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Things tend to work out the way they do for a reason. I don’t know that I’d have ever stepped out from his shadow to build my own life. Now we both apparently have what we wanted. It’s not a bad thing, Brett.”

And it was clear that she meant it.

“I just didn’t-”

“Want the pity party. I know. That’s not you. And, for what it’s worth, I’m kind of glad it worked out like it did, too.” He snugged her closer against his body. “Purely selfishly speaking.”

She giggled, which made him smile in return. He framed her face with his hands and kissed her. “I guess we’re both a couple of misfits, finding our own place,” he said.

“Something like that, I guess.”

“I like this place, Kirby. Your space. You. This. All of it. I couldn’t have said what it was that was going to make me feel content, or at peace. Or excited about life. About what I was going to do next. I should have never stayed in that world as long as I did, but I didn’t know where to go. I just knew where I wasn’t going. And that was into business with Dan.”

“The guy who came to see you?”

“Mmm hmm,” he said, bussing her on the nose, then hopping over to the stove when his sauce started to boil. “Turns out he’s not as happy for me as I thought he was.”

“Oh?” Kirby had picked up her knife again, but put it right back down. “In what way?”

“He was thinking I’d get over this…ennui, or whatever you want to call it, and come back and work with him. I worked for his dad as a kid, and with him off and on the whole time I was playing cards. His dad retired about five years ago, moved to Palm Springs. Dan runs their home building and construction company now. And though I enjoy aspects of it, it’s not really want I wanted to do full time, or how I wanted to make use of my degrees.”

“Which are?”

“Architecture and design theory.”

“There wasn’t a way to join his world to yours? They sound related.”

“Not the type of business he does, no. And…frankly, maybe I always knew that I wanted to get out of the desert, take on a new challenge. Vegas and the surrounding counties aren’t exactly known for their architectural brilliance, at least beyond the magnificence of the resort casinos. And I don’t have any interest in commercial building.”

“What did you want to do?”

“That’s just it. I only knew what I didn’t want to do. And I guess Dan thought he knew me better than I did, and figured I’d finally realize that I was destined to work with him. Things aren’t apparently going so well right now, and I’ve offered to help him out, but he’s too proud to accept a loan, much less an outright gift.”

“I understand the feeling.”

He smiled briefly. “I know you do. And I’ve tried to be more discreet and creative in the way I offered help, but…let’s just say it was a sore subject which has been closed for a long time.”

“Until this morning?”

He nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

He looked over, surprised.

“It’s obviously eating away at you. You’re a nurturer, Brett. You take care of people. You want to help Dan because you love him. He can’t accept your help because it makes him feel less of a man, less of an equal. I don’t know what it’s like being in Vegas with you, where you’re like some kind of rock star poker legend, but I’m guessing it can’t be easy on him. So…I guess I kind of understand where he’s coming from. But it’s a shame he can’t see the rest, about your future, I mean. Have you told him?”

“About?”

“The rest, whatever it was you discovered today. About the house and whatever that means to you.”

“I told him about you.”

She looked up; now she was the one with the surprised expression. “You did?”

He nodded. “I wanted him to meet you. And for you to meet him. It’s important to me.”

“Do you think that’s part of why he begged off tonight? I mean, first you turn him down on going back to work with him and I’m guessing he see’s me as an obstacle to that.” Her eyes widened. “Oh, wow, the charity event. He knows you’re helping me? I mean, not directly, but in finding a way to drive guests to the area, to the inn?”

“Not the particulars, but yes.”

“It’s no wonder he stayed away.” She put her knife down. “Maybe you should go over there, talk to him. Spend the evening hanging out, get room service or go out.” She lifted a shoulder and smiled that half smile of hers. “Be anywhere other than here playing house with me.”

She’d said it affectionately, easily. But that’s what they were doing. Playing house. Only he didn’t want to play at it. Not forever, anyway. Slowly, Hennessey. She’s had a lot of experience with temporary. Let her get used to the idea of you becoming permanent. Hell, he still needed to get used to the idea. There was no need to rush anything, anyway. She wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was he. She’d realize that sooner or later. He would find his niche here. And it if it was all meant to be, it would all figure itself out in time.