"Wait!" I cried. "I want no checking account. They could forge my signature like that! And somebody could come in disguised...."
"No, no," he said. "Hear me out. The tellers will be informed that only you may draw it, only you can sign for it and only I will make the accounting. And when you've used it up, you can simply come up to Istanbul and give me another certificate."
Oh, did I smell a big, juicy rat. I must have looked it.
Mudur Zengin, now in his chair, gave me a very level stare. In a voice entirely unrelated to the one just used, he said in cold banker tones, "The Swiss only gave you 10 percent per annum. I can get you 30 percent on short-term loans, even more."
I thought I knew what was coming. He was going to suggest I give him the whole box full. I started to speak to check this obvious raid.
He held up his hand to cut me off. "They could easily have given you 13 to 18 percent. But never mind. Your income on Swiss interest is more than two million dollars a month so leave them there. The main advantage is that it is safe. You owe about a third of a million to the credit companies which I guaranteed to pay off, and that includes the draft I paid Squeeza. I do not like to even seem to interfere between you and that concubine. But my advice to you is that you cease to use credit cards and make her come to you for cash. And you leave me the remaining one million, seven hundred thousand to handle. I doubt you can spend as much as you think around Afyon. But even if you go to a million lira a week-which is about ten thousand dollars U. S., and I can't imagine how you could squander that much-we can manage your dollars left in these four certificates in such a way that they increase and do not diminish."
"Fact?" I said, incredulous.
"I'm glad we have agreed," he said. "You handle it this way and I doubt you'll have to open that safe-deposit box again this year. Or in any year, for that matter, unless you decide to buy Turkey."
I really was blinking. There was a lot I didn't know about banking!
He pushed a buzzer. "I had these papers prepared while we were gone. I knew you would take the advice of an old friend."
The clerk brought them in. The clerk also brought a bale. It was huge. It was Turkish 100-lira notes. There was also a very heavy bank bag full of coins, of 2.50 ЈT, 1 ЈT and 50, 25, 10 and 5 kurus.
"Turkish money," said Zengin, "still buys plenty, if you lay off the imports. Inflation has been reversing itself the last two years. Domestic cigarettes are now ten lira a pack and a cup of kahve is back to seven. I can't imagine how you could get rid of this bale and that bag in one week, but there it is, your first week's allowance: a million Turkish lira-$10,000 U. S. You are a Turkish millionaire and will be one every week if you choose. Sign here."
The guy wasn't a crook after all! He was really helping me out! He'd make his own whack for the bank but I was richer than ever!
I signed.
Trying to struggle out of that office, the string of the heavy bale cutting my fingers and the bag of coins pulling my wrist out of joint, I felt wealthier than Croesus and Midas combined!
And a rich Gris was a very dangerous Gris, as people were about to discover.
"Jeez, boss," said the taxi driver, "you rob that bank?" He was pretty bug-eyed as he got his shoulder to it and boosted the bale of currency into the taxi.
We started off. We passed the Buyuk Post Office, got tangled up in a byway and were wheezing up the hill toward the Great Bazaar. Every few yards, the taxi driver said, "Wow."
After about the thirty-fifth "Wow," and an unusual number of pushcart thumps, with the assorted violence of fist-shaking by the owners which accompanies that, I noted we were heading south and were about to climb into the Street of Weavers. Aside from the fact that it is not wide enough for a taxi, if we were going to return to Afyon, we should be heading in exactly the opposite direction to get across the Bosporus and into Asian Turkey.
"Hey!" I yelled above the scream of pedestrians. "You're going the wrong way!"
He stepped on the brakes and stopped. It was about time, too. The nose of the taxi was into a basket shop, the fat lady proprietor struggling amidst her falling wares.
"Wow," said the taxi driver. He just sat there. I swatted him on the top of the head. It attracted his attention. He turned around, reached over the back of the front seat and tried to heft the bale of money at my feet. "Wow," he said. "Is this really yours, Officer Gris?"
"It certainly is," I said. "And I can get as much every week. Now get this taxi turned around and start home! I have things to do and we've 281 miles to go."
People were pounding on the windows. I handled that. I lowered one, stuck the barrels of the shotgun out, pointed them into the air and fired them.
It didn't have the desired effect. It attracted more crowd.
But Apparatus training asserted itself. I reached into the bag, took out a fat fistful of worthless Turkish coins and flung them over their heads to a point some distance away.
Magic. We immediately had enough space to turn around while people scrabbled for the kurus.
The taxi driver was up to it. We soon were speeding on our way.
"The car!" he said. "It's over in Beyoglu. Hold on, I'll have you there in no time."
We roared past the Egyptian Bazaar, twisted our way into the mainstream of the approaches and were soon rattling across the Galata Bridge which separates the Golden Horn from the Bosporus.
We progressed through a band of smoke-belching factories and, diving down some questionable alleyways, at length emerged into an area which might have once been an estate but which today was a gecekondu, a word which means "set down by night" and designates a squatter town of the meanest hovels.
Wheels skidding in garbage and mud, the taxi approached what might have once been a stable but was now held together mainly by the sheet-iron shanties that were using it for a back wall.
"You let me do all the talking," said the taxi driver, Ahmed. "And throw your coat or something over that bale of money." He got out and approached a door.
I did as he asked. Looking at some of the people around here, I also reloaded the shotgun. Gods, but this was a slum!
The taxi driver came back shortly. He beckoned me to get out. He locked up the cab thoroughly. He whispered, "Now, don't let out any cries of delight or anything like that. This is a real find. The general owned this estate once. He was a very famous man. They have no idea at all of the value of the car, as it was bought when the lira was worth a hundred times what it is now. So don't go shouting 'huzzah.' And don't go throwing your cap in the air. And let me do the bargaining."
I agreed. By bending down and going through a tunnel of fallen stone, we came into a dim area.
There was a loud bustle and squawk. Disturbed chickens were flying everywhere!
My eyes became accustomed to the gloom. A huge bulk of something loomed. It was covered with a worn-out army tarpaulin. And the tarpaulin was covered totally with chicken dung.
I heard a sort of evil cackle to my right. An ancient man was standing there. He had a nose like a beak. He had no teeth. That laugh was reminiscent of the Manco Devil.
A woman bustled in from a side door. She had two naked children clinging to her skirt. She was very fat and very dirty.
"Where's the car?" I whispered to Ahmed.
"Right there," he said. "Don't try to lift the tarpaulin. I've been through all that. It's all right."
I peeked anyway. I saw a tire so flat, the rim was through the rubber. I went a little further. I flinched. I was staring eye to eye with an eagle! It was bright red.