"Well, I'm off duty," Officer Delinko told him, "but I'd be glad to call for another unit." He was so exhausted from lack of sleep that he barely had enough energy to carry on a conversation.
"Do you happen to know who's sitting in this car?" Chuck Muckle asked, nodding toward the limo.
"No, sir."
"Miss Kimberly Lou Dixon!"
"That's nice," said Officer Delinko blankly.
"The Kimberly Lou Dixon."
"Well, what d'ya know."
Chuck Muckle thrust his ruddy face closer. "You've got no idea who I'm talking about, do you, Officer?"
"Not a clue, sir. Never heard of the lady."
The company vice-president rolled his eyes and proceeded to explain who Kimberly Lou Dixon was, and why she'd traveled all the way from Beverly Hills, California, to Coconut Cove, Florida.
"And right this minute," Chuck Muckle said, "she rather urgently needs a powder room."
"A powder room," Officer Delinko repeated quizzically.
"A place to powder her nose! A place to freshen up!" Chuck Muckle erupted in exasperation. "Is this really such a difficult concept to grasp, Officer? Let me try to put this in language you can understand-she needs a potty, okay?"
"Gotcha." Officer Delinko gestured toward Curly's trailer. "Follow me."
When Kimberly Lou Dixon got out of the limousine, Officer Delinko was startled by how young she looked compared with the wrinkled old granny she played on the TV commercials. Kimberly Lou had bright green eyes and rich auburn hair and smooth milky skin-a lovely and cultured woman, Officer Delinko thought.
Then she opened her mouth.
"I gotta tinkle," she announced in a sandpaper voice. "Lead the way, hotshot."
The actress carried a leather tote bag over one shoulder, and she wore high heels, a black skirt, and a pale silky blouse.
Curly was dumbstruck when he opened the door of the trailer. Without a word, Kimberly Lou Dixon stepped past him and made her way to the bathroom.
"Can I change in here?" she asked in a husky voice.
"Change what? You look pretty darned good the way you are."
"Change into her Mother Paula's costume," Officer Delinko interjected. "She's with some guy; he wants to know if she can use your trailer as a dressing room."
"Anytime," Curly said with a dreamy smile.
A man's silhouette filled the doorway, followed by a gust of oily cologne. "Why, you must be the one and only Leroy Branitt," growled a familiar sarcastic voice.
Curly cringed. Officer Delinko stepped out of the way and said, "This gentleman is from the pancake-house company."
"I figured," said Curly. He held out his right hand to Chuck Muckle, who stared at it as if it were a dead mudfish.
"Please tell me, Mr. Branitt, that you have no bad news that would spoil this lovely tropical morning. Tell me everything's hunky-dory here in Coconut Cove."
"Yessir," Curly said. "We stayed the last two nights on the property, me and the policeman here, and it's been peaceful as a church house. Ain't that right, David?"
"Right-o," Officer Delinko said.
Chuck Muckle whipped off his shades and eyed the patrolman dubiously. "You wouldn't happen to be the same crackerjack lawman who fell asleep in his car while the vandal trashed our survey stakes, would you?"
As curious as Officer Delinko was to see Kimberly Lou Dixon dressed up as Mother Paula, he now wished that he were somewhere far, far away.
"The same genius," Mr. Muckle went on, "whose careless sleep habits resulted in a newspaper article that unfairly smeared the good name and reputation of Mother Paula? Was that you?"
"Yeah, that would be him," Curly said.
Officer Delinko shot the foreman a dirty look before addressing Mr. Muckle. "I'm really sorry about all that, sir," the patrolman said, thinking: Sorrier for me than for you.
"It's rather astounding that you still have a job," Chuck Muckle remarked. "Your police chief must have a charitable heart. Either that or he's desperate for warm bodies."
Curly finally came up with something positive to contribute. "Officer Delinko is the one who helped me catch that burglar the other night!"
It was a shameless exaggeration of Curly's role in the capture of Dana Matherson, and Officer Delinko was about to set the record straight when Kimberly Lou Dixon came rocketing out of the bathroom.
"You've got, like, a major roach situation in there!" she exclaimed.
"They ain't roaches, they're crickets," Curly said. "I don't know where the heck they all came from."
He elbowed his way past Officer Delinko and Chuck Muckle, and introduced himself to the actress. "I'm the supervising engineer on this project, Miss Dixon, and I just want you to know that I seen all your movies."
"All two of them, you mean?" Kimberly Lou Dixon patted his shiny scalp. "That's all right, Mr. Branitt, it's still a darling thing for you to say."
"Hey, I can't wait for your new one, too-Mutant Invaders from Saturn Eleven. I really go for that sci-fi stuff."
"Jupiter Seven!" Chuck Muckle cut in. "It's called Mutant Invaders from Jupiter Seven."
"Whatever," Curly gushed, "you're gonna make a fantastic grasshopper queen."
"Yeah. I'm already writing my Oscar speech." The actress glanced at her diamond-studded wristwatch. "Listen, I'd better hurry up and start turning myself into adorable old Mother Paula. Can one of you sweethearts please fetch my suitcase out of the limo?"
TWENTY
A smaller limousine delivered the Coconut Cove mayor, Councilman Bruce Grandy, and the chamber of commerce president to the construction site. A satellite truck from a Naples television station came next, followed by a newspaper photographer.
City workers tied red, white, and blue streamers to the fence and hung a hand-lettered banner that said WELCOME, MOTHER PAULA.
At ten minutes to noon, Roy and Beatrice arrived; this time she rode the handlebars and he pedaled, the camera stowed safely in his backpack. They were startled to see that they weren't the only ones to show up-the freckle-faced boy, the red-haired girl, and at least half of Mr. Ryan's history class were already there, along with a bunch of parents.
"What in the world'd you say to those kids yesterday?" Beatrice asked. "You promise 'em free flapjacks or somethin'?"
"I just talked about the owls, that's all," Roy said.
He got another pleasant surprise when a van from the Trace Middle School Athletic Department rolled up and Beatrice's soccer teammates piled out, some of them carrying posters.
Roy grinned at Beatrice, who shrugged as if it was no big deal. They scanned the growing crowd but saw no sign of her runaway stepbrother.
There was no sign of the owls, either, which didn't surprise Roy; with so much noise and human commotion, the birds would likely stay underground where it was dark and safe. Roy knew that's what the pancake people were betting on: that the owls would be too frightened to venture out.
At quarter past twelve, the door of the construction trailer swung open. First to emerge was a policeman whom Roy recognized as Officer Delinko; then the bald construction foreman with the rotten temper; then a snooty-looking guy with silver hair and dorky sunglasses.
The last to come out was the woman who played Mother Paula on the TV commercials. She wore a shiny gray wig, wire-rimmed glasses, and a calico apron. A few people clapped in recognition, and she waved halfheartedly.
The group marched to a rectangular clearing that had been roped off in the center of the construction site. A megaphone was handed to the silvery-haired guy, who said his name was Chuck E. Muckle, a vice-president from Mother Paula's company headquarters. He really thought he was hot snot, Roy could tell.