3
Where is Janet Thrush?
I keep calling; no answer. I leave two messages on her machine.
Meanwhile, Emma hovers. She thinks I ought to be writing Jimmy Stoma's obituary by now, but she knows better than to nag. Emma dislikes being reminded that I haven't missed a deadline since she was in Huggies.
Come on, Janet, answer the damn phone.
From Jimmy's sister I need two things. One is a nice warm quote about her brother—I hate to hang the entire obit on Cleo Rio. Second, I want to bounce Cleo's version of Jimmy's life off of Janet to make sure I'm not being steered off course. Wives have been known to lie extravagantly about dead husbands.
Janet Thrush could tell me if her brother had been producing Shipwrecked Heartfor Cleo, and if the CD was nearly finished. Even if Jimmy's widow is exaggerating for self-promotional purposes, at least the tide ought to hold up. That's all I need for my last sentence, which we call the kicker.
While waiting for Janet, I try the Bahamian police. Talk about a long shot. Headquarters in Nassau refers me to Freeport. Freeport refers me to Chub Cay, which refers me back to Freeport. Sunday, it seems, isn't the best day to track down a coroner in the islands.
Finally I hook up with a person who identifies herself as Corporal Smith. She's aware that an American has "very unfortunately" passed away while on a diving trip to the Berry Islands, but she has no further information at hand. She politely instructs me to call Nassau tomorrow and ask for Sergeant Weems.
It's futile to plead my case but I give it a try. And, as expected, Corporal Smith wants to know why I can't wait one more day to write the obit. It's a logical question. Jimmy Stoma certainly isn't going anywhere.
"It's news," I explain valiantly to the corporal. "I'm in a competitive situation."
"No one else from the press has called."
"But they will."
"Then they'll be advised to phone back tomorrow," she says, "just like you."
I hang up. Emma is behind me, her presence a clammy vapor.
"How's it going?"
"Peachy," I say.
"When can I see something?"
"When it's done."
She slides away like a fog.
Desperate for a second quote, I look up the home phone number of our music critic. His name is Tim Buckminster, although he recently began using the initials T. O. in his byline, because he liked the rhythm of it: T. O. Buckminster! He even sent an all-points e-mail instructing everyone at the newspaper to refer to him henceforth as "T. O.," please, and never Tim.
I cannot bring myself to do this. Tim Buckminster is only twenty-five years old, which is too young to be reinventing oneself. So I call him Timmy, as does his mother. Unfortunately, he turns out to be utterly unfamiliar with the music of the Slut Puppies, or of Jimmy Stoma as a solo artist.
"But you've heard of him, right?" I ask.
"Sure. Didn't he marry Cleo Rio?"
Next I try a rock-writer pal in San Francisco. He is kind enough to cobble together an instant quote about the Reptiles and Amphibians of North AmericaCD, which (he speculates) had an influence on current bands such as the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Foo Fighters.
Good enough.
I glance at the clock on the wall. Maybe Janet Thrush will call before deadline, which is ninety-four minutes away. On my desk I spread my meager notes and the morgue clippings, and begin to write:
James Stomarti, the hard-living singer-songwriter who founded the popular rock group Jimmy and the Slut Puppies, has died in an apparent skin-diving accident in the Bahamas. He was 39.
Known to millions of youthful fans as Jimmy Stoma, Stomarti disappeared on the afternoon of August 6 while exploring the sunken wreckage of a smuggler's airplane near Chub Cay, according to his wife, the singer Cleo Rio.
Ms. Rio said her husband went diving in 50 to 60 feet of water with a former handmate, keyboardist Jay Burns, while she waited aboard the boat. Burns came up after an hour, she said, but there was no sign of Stomarti.
His body was found later by Bahamian police, in calm seas a half mile away, Ms. Rio said.
"I think my darling husband swam off and got lost," she said Sunday, still dazed by the tragedy. "When he went diving he was like a little kid. Totally preoccupied."
Ms. Rio said it appeared Stomarti had gotten lost underwater, and succumbed to fatigue. She said an autopsy determined that her husband had drowned.
Bahamian Police Cpl. Cilia Smith acknowledged that an American died last Thursday on a dive in the Berry Islands, but declined to confirm that it was Stomarti or provide details of the coroner's findings.
Stomarti's body was returned to the United States on Saturday. A private service will be held Tuesday afternoon at St. Stephen's Church in Silver Beach. Afterwards the singer's ashes will be scattered in the Atlantic Ocean, according to his wishes, Ms. Rio said.
It is a quiet final chapter to a life that had, until recent years, been tumultuous and troubled.
Jimmy and the Slut Puppies barged onto the rock scene in 1983 with the raunchy hit single, "Mouthful of Muscle." Over the next seven years the band sold more than six million albums, according to Billboardmagazine.
As front man Jimmy Stoma, Stomarti played rhythm guitar, harmonica and sang lead vocals. He also wrote the group's best-known singles, including "Basket Case" and "Trouser Troll," the latter of which appeared on the Slut Puppies' last album, the Grammy Award-winning A Painful Burning Sensation.
"Jimmy and the Slut Puppies was a high-octane act," rock biographer Gavin Cisco said, "and the spark came from Jimmy Stoma. He was a screamer, for sure, but he was also a sly and solid songwriter."
Cisco cited the "obvious" influence of one Slut Puppies album, Reptiles and Amphibians of North America,on the Red Hot Chili Peppers and other current rock bands.
Born in Chicago, James Bradley Stomarti grew up listening to hard-driving, mainstream rock-and-roll. He had a fondness for zippy, double-edged lyrics, and among his early idols were Todd Rundgren and Jackson Browne.
Stomarti was sixteen when he put together his first basement band, Jungle Rot. Several years later he and his best friend, Jay Burns, formed the Slut Puppies and went on the road.
"Mainly to get girls," Stomarti joked in a 1986 Rolling Stoneinterview, "and it worked like a charm."
Stomarti always performed bare-chested in trademark black overalls and combat boots. He was known for his elaborate tattoos, lewd comic asides and indefatigable stage energy.
Offstage, he exuberantly sustained the Jimmy Stoma persona, sometimes with embarrassing results. Stomarti had numerous brushes with the law, including one memorable arrest for indecent exposure during a concert in North Carolina. In that incident, Stomarti strode onstage wearing only a prophylactic, and a mask likeness of the Rev. Pat Robertson, the Christian broadcast personality.
Another time, the singer and an unidentified woman companion were injured when he crashed his high-powered waterbike into the stern of the luxury liner SS Norwaywhile it was berthed in the Port of Miami. Later Stomarti admitted he'd gotten "seriously lit" before the accident, in which he fractured nine out often knuckles.
Indeed, his years of greatest fame and success were marred by heavy substance abuse, leading to the breakup of numerous romances and one marriage.
Stomarti eventually dissolved the Slut Puppies, and in 1991 released his first and only solo album, Stomatose,to mixed reviews and disappointing sales. He soon dropped out of the Los Angeles music scene and moved to Florida.
His wife said Stomarti gave up drugs and alcohol, and became an avid outdoorsman, fitness enthusiast and environmentalist. He bought a second home in the Bahamas, where he indulged his passions for boating and scuba diving.