41

I REALIZED THAT without the ardeur I didn’t want to have sex in the bare living room with the only main door from the upper areas forcing people to walk right by us. I’d gotten better at being nude in front of people, but it didn’t do anything for me. I was just never going to be the exhibitionist that some of my boyfriends were, but since Micah wasn’t an exhibitionist, and Asher had issues because of his scars, going to the bedroom worked for all of us. Mephistopheles was fine once I took him by the hand and made it clear we weren’t stopping, just finding privacy.

It was too late for Jean-Claude and Richard even if they’d wanted privacy. Envy’s face and body language as they held her between them said she was too far gone to stop. If I’d been the woman in the middle and they’d tried to make me stop, I’d have been pissed. I paused, unsure whether I needed to explain to Jean-Claude and Richard where we were going. Asher and Micah waited just ahead of me; Mephistopheles waited with his hand in mine. Nathaniel was just behind me. I had one of those Miss-Manners-doesn’t-cover-it moments. Do you need to tell Boyfriend A and Boyfriend B that you’re leaving not because you don’t want to see them have sex with another woman, but because you’d rather not get all naked and fuck in front of anyone who might happen to walk through the door?

I’d never watched any of my men with another woman. I’d never really seen them this completely comfortable with anyone but me. I think Jean-Claude would have been more comfy with the other men, but he was always very careful with their comfort level; for the first time with Richard they were doing something that they could both just enjoy. No being careful was needed, and it showed. With the heels Envy was as tall as Jean-Claude, so he’d bent her body backward just a little; his hand cupped her chin, fingers tracing the long curve of her neck, her hair pushed to one side by his arm coming around her neck. His other arm was around her waist helping bow her body just that slight curve backward, tilting her lower body forward so that the long naked line of her was held out for Richard. He knelt at her feet, the summer brown of him looking even darker against all that pale skin. His mouth was pressed between her legs, his hair forward so I couldn’t see exactly what he was doing, but I knew. One hand was between her thighs, and the other was curved around the outside of the other leg. Between the two of them they had her legs spread wide, so that she was unsteady on the tall silver stilettos. I realized that Jean-Claude was holding most of her weight, because between the two of them they had her completely off balance, but she wasn’t complaining. Her eyes were closed, mouth half-parted, her breathing fast and faster, making her breasts rise and fall frantically.

She was a better height for them both. I’d have been too short to be stretched between them on my feet. There was something graceful in the curves of her body between them. She screamed, her body bucking. Richard pressed himself tighter against her, and Jean-Claude’s mouth closed over the strained curve of her neck. Her body spasmed between them, and Jean-Claude rolled just his eyes up to look at me over the line of her neck. I looked into those dark blue eyes. His eyes bled to midnight fire as I watched. I gave a small wave and led the rest toward the bedroom. It looked like a lot of fun, but I wanted more privacy.

Nicky followed us, but Dino stayed. It was Wicked who fell in beside Nicky to guard us. I thought they meant to take up posts by the door like they did when I was with Jean-Claude and the rest, but they followed us into the bedroom. I turned and said, “If I’d wanted an audience I’d have stayed outside.”

“He looks tame, but he’s an unknown weretiger who’s been trained in combat by some very good warriors. We can’t let you be with him the first time with no one in here to guard you.”

“What, I’m like royalty, I have to have witnesses to the bedding process?”

“They didn’t insist on witnesses just because of some old-fashioned idea that if it wasn’t witnessed it wasn’t real, Anita. Sometimes they put witnesses in the room so that one half of the new royal couple couldn’t accidentally injure or kill the other,” Wicked said.

I looked at him, and my face must have asked for me.

“Not everyone was happy with their arranged marriages,” he said.

I thought about that for a moment, then shook my head. “I don’t know what to say to that.”

“Don’t say anything; just know that Nicky and I will be by the door keeping everyone safe. We’ll just be on this side of the door.”

“Yeah, we would suck as bodyguards if we let you get hurt because we were too pussy to watch,” Nicky said.

I frowned at him.

He grinned. “But if you want me to do more than guard, you know all you have to do is ask. I’ll be happy to lend an extra hand or mouth.”

I frowned harder at him, but he knew I didn’t mean it, not really, because his grin got wider. If he’d really thought I was mad at him he’d have reacted to it, because he had to. He was designed to make me happier, not unhappy. It was all very reasonable, the guards on this side, as I looked up at six feet of muscle that was still holding my hand. Even if he’d been just human, he would have outweighed me by a lot, but he wasn’t human, and that made him potentially very dangerous. I agreed with their guarding us in principle, but in actuality something about the walk here and the talk with them had taken some of the shine off the mood for me.

Micah came to me. He hugged me, kissed my cheek, and whispered, “You’re thinking too hard.”

I turned with a frown, but staring into his face from this close I couldn’t keep it. I felt my face soften, felt some of the strain slip away. I hugged him back, leaving Mephistopheles standing by himself while I wrapped myself around Micah and let him wrap himself around me. I held on, trying to decide why I was suddenly so tense.

Had it bothered me to see Jean-Claude and Richard with another woman? No. And then it hit me: What bothered me was that it hadn’t bothered me, and I felt vaguely like it should have, and more than that I thought Envy looked beautiful stretched between them. The thought of them doing the same to one of the other men while I watched tightened things low in my body, so I found that more titillating, but I hadn’t found Envy stretched between them unappealing. Was I having a homophobic moment? Was that really what was wrong? Or did I just think that I should have been jealous, and was surprised that I wasn’t?

I whispered into the thick fall of his hair, “I think I’m bothered that I’m not bothered.”

He drew away enough to see my face. “Two years of being with you and I actually understand that.”

I frowned at him.

He laughed. “Anita, you’ve never seen any of us with another woman. You think you should be jealous, but you weren’t.”

I shrugged, and moved a little way away from him. I took a deep breath and said, “And I’d like to see that with one of you guys in the middle, and that bothers me, and she wasn’t . . . she was beautiful.” I frowned and looked at him.

He smiled and moved toward me. “You’re bothered that you liked seeing another woman like that?”

“I think so, or I’m bothered that it didn’t bother me. Oh, hell, I don’t know.”

“Being bothered about seeing same-sex fun and games, welcome to our world.” He tried to hug me, but I stepped out of reach.

“Does it bother you?” I asked.

“No,” Nathaniel said. He came up to both of us. “We are not going to do this tonight.”

“What?” I asked.

He took me in his arms. “I love you,” he said.

“I love you, too,” I said, but I was studying his face, because I wasn’t sure where we were going.

“But you are trying to talk yourself out of sex.”