"I did not say she had."
"Your face said more than your words."
Jonathan turned away, anger making his movements abrupt. Tereza had come up sometime during the healing. Elaine hadn't seen her come. Tereza touched his shoulder, but he pulled away from her. "I cannot change what I am. I cannot."
"Jonathan, please …"
Elaine stood up, leaving both the wizard and her brother's comforting touches behind. "Why do you protest, Tereza? You fear me, too. I saw it in your eyes."
"Elaine, we love you," Tereza said.
"But you still fear me." Tears threatened to close her throat tight. No, no more crying. Blast it all, she was an adult. She didn't need their approval. She wanted it, but didn't need it.
"I know you would never hurt us," Tereza said.
"Do you? Do you really?" She searched the older woman's face, trying to judge the words. Elaine couldn't read her thoughts at that moment and didn't try to. Not out of fear of what she would find out, but out of politeness. If it was rude to eavesdrop, it had to be doubly rude to read another's thoughts without permission.
"The evil is not in the girl," the elf said.
Tereza looked down at him. "We don't think she's evil."
"That's a lie," Elaine said. The tears trailed silently down her cheeks. Tereza's mind had opened to her like a window. She thought that Elaine's burgeoning powers had harmed the man. Tereza knew Elaine hadn't meant to do it, but she had so little control. Images swam in Tereza's mind of the night in the shed over the corpse of the murdered man.
Elaine looked at Jonathan. She riffled his mind like the pages of a book. Distrust, hatred, fear, prejudice. He loved Elaine, but his loathing of all things magic was deeply ingrained. How could he just abandon a lifetime of habit? A habit that had kept him alive and whole.
"I did not harm Randwulf, not on purpose. I have never harmed anyone. I would never harm anyone. I don't even know how to use magic to harm someone." With each word she spoke, she felt the hopelessness of it. They did not believe her. They no longer trusted her. They thought she had tried to kill Randwulf, deliberately. Both of them, it had been their first thought.
"When we go … back," she had almost said home, "from Cortton, I'll leave."
"Mo," Tereza said. She stepped forward, reaching for Elaine.
Elaine held up her hands as if to ward off a blow. "I can read your thoughts. I know what you think of me."
Tereza grabbed her into a fierce hug. "I cannot control my thoughts, Elaine, but do not leave, not like this. Jonathan and I will learn to … It will be all right."
Elaine pushed her to arm's length. "Jonathan and you will learn to what? Tolerate me? Not hate what I'm becoming? Not fear me?" She shook her head and stepped back, out of reach. She turned to the wizard. "If it's all right with you, Gersalius, we could go back to your home. I could live there while you teach me. If that's all right."
She realized for the first time that she should have asked the wizard in private. What if he said no? What if he didn't want her either? She shook her head, fighting not to cry again.
Gersalius stood up, taking her hand in his. "You are most welcome in my house, Elaine Claim, always."
Blaine gripped her shoulder. "Will you have me, as well, Gersalius?"
The wizard raised an eyebrow. "You have some natural calling to animals and plants, but you are no mage."
"I don't come to learn magic. I come to keep you company."
"You are welcome in my home." He glanced at Jonathan and Tereza. "Remember this, that it was not magic that drove them away, but prejudice."
Tereza turned away and walked very fast toward the tents. Jonathan just stood there. He didn't seem to know what to say or even what to do. Elaine had never seen him at such a loss.
"You have commitments, Blaine," Jonathan said at last. Elaine knew what he meant. The brotherhood. She had asked to join, but Jonathan had talked her out of it. She had no knowledge of weaponry, no real way of defending herself. Her visions, though useful, left her sick and bedridden for hours or days. But that had changed.
"If Thordin wants another partner, he can pair with Konrad," Blaine said.
"Konrad's all right, but I don't want another partner," Thordin said. The fighter stood up, half between the three of them, as if he could stop what was about to happen.
"I'm sorry, Thordin," Blaine said.
"And who will be your new partner?" Jonathan asked.
"I will be," Elaine said.
Jonathan turned to her, frowning. "We've discussed this before, Elaine. You are not suited …"
"I had a vision yesterday. I was not bedridden. Gersalius is teaching me to control my powers."
"You still have no way to defend yourself. What if Blaine is not with you? Who will protect you?"
Gersalius gave a small chuckle.
"What is it, wizard?"
"Elaine is powerful, mage-finder. She will be able to take care of herself once she is trained."
"You see, Jonathan, all your objections are gone just like that," Elaine said. There was a large, hot stab of satisfaction at that. She wasn't helpless anymore.
"This is not the time or place to discuss this," Jonathan said. He was right. They were talking nearly openly about a supposed secret organization. But she wanted to finish this conversation. She wanted Jonathan to feel her anger. Elaine wanted him to hear her anger.
The thought was enough. I will be Blame's new partner.
Jonathan paled, his breath coming in a sharp jab of panic. Thordin grabbed his arm to steady him. "What's wrong, Jonathan?"
He shook his head, not trusting himself to speak.
You are hearing my words, Jonathan, nothing more. It won't hurt you. Think something, and I will hear it. Let us finish this between us, here and now.
His skin looked gray. Elaine could feel his stomach knot with fear at her presence in his mind. She didn't care anymore. "Answer me, Jonathan," she said out loud.
"Are you doing this?" Thordin asked.
"He can read my thoughts as I can read his, that is all. It doesn't hurt. It is his own fear that is harming him."
"Elaine, don't do this," Blaine said.
"I have to."
Jonathan swallowed hard, Fighting nausea. Finally, he thought, very carefully, The brotherhood would never accept such as you as one of their agents.
They have used wizards before.
He shook his head as if he could block out the sound, but he couldn't. Elaine suddenly knew that he couldn't keep her out of his mind, not if she wanted to be there. They will not use you.
Blaine will speak for me.
And I will speak against you.
So be it, Jonathan.
He had regained his color and his temper. "I will do everything I can to see that people know you for the corruption you are." He turned stiffly and walked slowly, deliberately away.
"You shouldn't have entered his mind," Gersalius said.
Elaine watched Jonathan's stiff back march away. "No more games, Gersalius. I am what I am. Jonathan could never accept that."
"He might have, in time, but now …" he let the thought trail off. His eyes watched her, concerned, worried.
"Now, I've made sure he thinks me evil."
"Yes, why?"
She shook her head, not sure she could explain. "I grew tired of the glances, of having to guess what they thought. Oh, I don't know what made me do it, but it's done. He'll never forgive me." Stupidly, tears stung her eyes. It had been her choice; why was she crying about it?
"You have indeed burned your proverbial bridges," Gersalius said. He smiled and clapped her shoulder. "You'll find my home less grand than your old one, but it will serve until you are master over your magic."
She turned to Blaine. "I'm sorry."
He gave a halfhearted smile. "I have never seen you lose your temper before. It was impressive, but why Jonathan? Why today?"