I'm sorry to disturb you, sir, but this has just come in from a British intelligence agent in Cambodia.

What the hell, he trusts it'll leave me convinced? Who is this guy?

I don't know, sir, but he could have gone loco, you know, jungle fever, it's pretty hot there right now.

Get this fucking thing out you've got one more fucking minute before they're here.

Sure. But there may be something in it. Tell him we gotta have photographs, okay? Tell him to get pictures.

Not coming out so I kicked the side of the camera to stress the frame back to a rectangle, parallelogram now, shit shaped, the sweat running off me because listen, those bastards are close, have to be very close, and I can't — I cannot leave here without this cassette, without the photographs for the general, Khay died to get me this bloody thing, kick, a precision kick and the cassette came out with a rush and I stuffed it inside my jump suit and we have to move rather quickly now, my good friend, do we not, feeling in Khay's pocket for his lighter, not finding it, try the other one, he's — he was left-handed, I should have remembered, wasting so much time, found it now and clambered onto the seats to reach the door above my head but it was stuck, the whole cabin was distorted just like that fucking camera, hit it with your shoulder, harder than that, could see a light, I could see some kind of light through the jungle, firefly, just joking, a soldier with a torch, the first of them, the nearest, hit it and we got it right this time and the door swung open and I clambered through and slid down the outside of the cabin, would need a fuse, the belt of the jump suit was all we had so use that.

Twisted the cap of the fuel tank open and made sure none of the stuff spilled onto me, dipped the belt in and pulled it out again and flicked the wheel of the lighter and flung myself clear and hit the jungle floor and burrowed through the undergrowth as the Sikorsky blew like a sunrise, kept on burrowing through the cool darkness of the leaves, the monkeys screaming now.

I suppose I had come three or four miles, burrowing at first and then getting onto my feet and stumbling through the dark entangling undergrowth, tripping many times on creeper, going down and smelling the fibrous soil against my face, rich and moist from the recent rain.

Now I was leaning against a palm trunk, watching the glow in the distance as Khay's funeral pyre burned low. He would have wanted cremation, according to Buddhist custom, and would have enjoyed the fact that torching the Sikorsky had given them something to focus on, the men in battledress, to hold their attention while I got clear. He would have left nothing for them in the ashes, no metal badge or insignia; he had known our sortie would perhaps bring us into direct contact with the Khmer Rouge.

Black smoke hung in a cloud above the trees, sometimes smothering the moon and then clearing again as the night air flowed, drawing out the smoke in skeins. I still listened for voices, for the clink of weaponry, but heard nothing, saw nothing of any light.

After a while I moved on again, heading east towards the nearest bullock track, and it was when I was tripped again by jungle creeper and went down with my hands spread out in front of me to break the fall that I felt a squirming beneath one of them, the left one if I remember, and then the rapid and repeated shock of the strike against my wrist, and when I hit the thing away I saw a long thin trickle of green against the jungle floor, and remembered what Gabrielle had said.

20: SKULLS

There are snakes in the river.

My spine arched again to a spasm and I lay like that, curved against the earth with my face to the sky, lay like that for I didn't know how long, the sweat pouring from me.

They swim across at night — the light attracts them, and the rats.

I slumped again like a drawn bow snapping, and the fever began. I had been expecting it.

Especially the hanuman — do you know it? The bright green one, quite small but more deadly thane cobra, even the king cobra.

Another spasm struck and I became arched, drawn taut, powerless to move, to relax the muscles. It was beginning to be difficult now to breathe, so I dragged at the air, sucked at it, but nothing happened. If the voluntary muscles were to be affected, so would the involuntary muscles, including those of the heart. I waited, with the moon swimming in the slits between my lids, and then the drawn nerves snapped again and my shoulders hit the earth.

Were there more of those things here? Did that one have a mate, and if so, how far was it from where I was lying? I couldn't do with more, with more than one. They are more deadly than the cobra.

One simply has to relax. Khay, the late Captain Khay. Western people drink whole bottle of whisky, sometimes works. Meditation best.

Soon after this — hours? I didn't know — the shaking began, and the delirium.

There were nine moons when the storm came roaring into the jungle and I counted them as the trees bent low under the force of the whipping wind, nine in a circle, circling, a giddy-go-round of white-lit moons, spinning in the night as the head rolled, lolled, shaking itself, was shaken by the fever as the sweat sprang and I shouted something, shouted at the storm, shuddering, hands, fingers clawing at the soft moist fibres, bringing them to the mouth to eat, hungering for remembered motions, eating, running — staggering up and lurching and then crashing down again, singing like a drunk as the storm howled through the leaves and blew away the circle of moons and there was just the dark and I lay blinded, whirled in the deep spinning vortex of the night.

Pain was there, and this comforted me: the nerves were not yet numbed, could still serve the organism. The pain was in the left hand, wrist, arm, burning, as if I'd plunged them into fire. I got onto my feet again and flayed my arm around, filling the dark with flames, touching the trees until they too took fire and the storm sent sparks flying, seized the flames and hurled them in hot bright banners as I stood dazzled, reeling under the heat, the eyes seared, the mouth open and filled with coals, roaring like a dragon, bellowing flames.

Meditate, he, the man with the unremembered name, had said.

Crashing to the earth with the legs buckling, lying across a creeper, a long thin — oh Jesus Christ I can't do with more of — a thin, unmoving creeper, let go then, and meditate, fear nothing and fear not fear, reach for the silence, the stillness, the domain of the unified field, of universal consciousness and love, let go, let go, and drift into the void where everything is nothing, and nothing everything, let go.

But this halcyon respite has not been for long, has it, our good friend, for we are running again — running? — lurching, we mean, lurching and staggering and hitting trees, pitching down and crawling until the thought of the thin green hanuman catapults us to our feet again and we reel onward through the crashing dark, the moon down now, the nine moons down, is this venom always lethal? tell us, pray, are we a goner, done for, is this the Styx we're drowning in as we goad ourselves through the jungle night? Then for what purpose, for God's sake?

To find the bullock track.

A ray of sanity there, my masters, there's thought left somewhere in the fevered brain, squealing like a rat on fire for attention, the bullock track, yea, verily, in the name of the salamander: the bullock track and the road to Pouthisat and London, you must be out of your bloody mind, the veins are full of that thing's venom and the nerves are running riot, never mind the salamander, the first thing is to perpetuate life, carry this charred and ember-bright organism through the burning dark, east by the polar star glimpsed here and there through the endless canopy of leaves; listen to the thoughts still left in the smouldering consciousness and let them be thy guide, world without end as we fall again, fall down again, and this time we do not, we can not get up, so destroyed are we in this unholy fire, a shred of blackened bone and gristle and hollow, echoing despair, God rest ye here, my most unmerry gentleman, and offer the relics of thy substance to the earth.