But as the weather warmed, and the baby did not come, I thought that her God must be a harsh deity indeed if he could take the prayers and the suffering of such a queen and not give her a child to love.

Mistress Boy,

The queen is to come out of her confinement soon, and I need you here to advise me. You may bring me my blue velvet missal which I left in the chapel at my seat and come at once.

Robt.

I went to the chapel, with Danny walking before me. I had to stoop low so that he could hold my fingers with both his hands, and walk with my support. My back ached by the time we got to the chapel and I sat in Robert’s chair and let Danny make his way down one of the pews, steadying himself on the seat. I would never have believed that I would have stooped till my back ached for the amusement of a small boy, and yet when I had the missal and we walked back to our chamber I bent low again to let Danny hold on to my fingers. I prayed in silence that perhaps even now, the queen might have a son and might know joy like this, such a strange, unexpected joy – the happiness of caring for a child whose whole life was in my hands.

He was not an ordinary child. Even I, who knew so little about children, could tell that. Like a house with shuttered windows the child had shielded himself, and in closing doors and windows, had shut himself away from the life of the world outside. I felt that I was standing outside, calling for a response that might never come. But I was determined to go on calling to him.

The court was at Richmond and the moment I arrived I knew that something had happened. There was an air of suppressed excitement in the stables, everyone was gossiping in corners and there was no one to take our horses, not even the Dudley grooms.

I threw the reins to the nearest young man, and with Danny on my hip strode up the flagged path to the garden entrance of the palace. There were more people whispering in groups and I felt a clutch of fear at my heart. What if one of Elizabeth’s many plots had brought a rebellion right here to the heart of a royal palace and she had the queen under arrest? Or what if the queen had gone into labor with this late-conceived baby, and it had been the death of her as so many people had warned her that it would be?

I did not dare to ask a stranger, for fear of the reply I might get, so I pushed on, walking faster and faster, through the entrance to the inner hall, looking for a friendly face. Looking for someone to ask, someone that I could trust. At the back of the hall was Will Somers, sitting all alone, very isolated from the other whispering groups of people. I went up to him and touched him gently on the shoulder.

His dull gaze went first to Danny and then to me. He did not recognize me. “Mistress, I can do nothing for you,” he said shortly, and turned his head away. “I have no spirits for jests today, I could only manage the lowest of humor, for I am very low myself.”

“Will, it’s me.”

At my voice he paused and looked at me more closely. “Hannah? Hannah the Fool? Hannah, the Invisible Fool?”

I nodded at the implied reproach. “Will, what has happened?”

He did not remark on my clothes, on my child, on anything. “It’s the queen,” he said.

“Oh, Will, she’s not dead?”

He shook his head. “Not yet. But it can only be a matter of time.”

“The baby?” I asked with a swift sure painful knowledge.

“It’s happened again,” he said. “There was no baby. Again. And again she is the laughingstock of Europe and the mistress of her own humiliation.”

Without thinking I stretched out my hands to him for comfort and he gripped them tightly.

“Is she ill?” I whispered after a moment.

“Her women say that she will not rise up from the floor,” he said. “She sits, hunched on the floorboards, more like a beggar woman than a queen. I don’t know how it can have happened, Hannah. I don’t know how it can have come about. When I think of her as a child, so bright and bonny, when I think of the care her mother gave her, and her father adoring her and calling her his own, his best Princess of Wales, and now this miserable ending… what will happen next?”

“Why? What will happen next?” I repeated, aghast.

He hunched a shoulder and gave me a crooked sad smile. “Nothing much here,” he said dismissively. “It’s at Hatfield that it will all happen. There is the heir, clearly, we can’t make one here. We’ve had two tries at an heir here and all we get is wind. Not the right sort of air at all. But at Hatfield – why, there is half her court already, and the rest rushing to join them. She’ll have her speech ready, I don’t doubt. She’ll be all prepared for the day when they tell her that the queen is dead and she is the new queen. She’ll have it all planned, where she will sit and what she will say.”

“You’re right.” I shared his bitterness. “And she has her speech ready. She’s going to say: ‘This is the Lord’s doing; it is marvelous in our eyes.’”

Will gave a bitter crow of laughter. “Good God! She is a marvelous princess. How d’you know that? How d’you know she’s going to say that?”

I could feel a gurgle of laughter in my throat. “Oh, Will! She asked me what the queen was going to say at her accession, and when I told her she thought it so good she would use it herself.”

“Well, why not?” he asked, suddenly bitter again. “She will have taken everything else. Queen Mary’s own husband, the people’s love, the throne, and now the very words out of her sister’s mouth.”

I nodded. “Do you think I can see the queen?”

He smiled. “She won’t recognize you. You have become a beautiful woman, Hannah. Is it just the gown? You should pay your dressmaker well. Was it her that transformed you?”

I shook my head. “Love, I think.”

“For your husband? You found him, did you?”

“I found him, and then I lost him almost at once, Will, because I was a fool, filled with pride and jealousy. But I have his son, and he has taught me to love without thinking of myself. I love him more than I thought possible. More than I knew I could love anyone. This is my son, Danny. And if we ever see his father again I will be able to tell him that I am a woman grown at last, and ready for love.”

Will smiled at Danny, who shyly dipped his head and then looked into Will’s kindly creased face and smiled back.

“Can you hold him for me, while I ask at her door if I may see the queen?”

Will held out his arms and Danny went to him with the easy trust that Will inspired in everyone. I went up the sweep of stairs to the queen’s presence chamber and then to the closed door of her private rooms. My name got me as far as her privy chamber and then I saw Jane Dormer standing at the closed door.

“Jane, it is me,” I said. “Hannah.”

It was a sign of the depth of the queen’s grief and Jane’s despair that she did not remark on my unexpected return, nor on my new costume.

“Perhaps she’ll speak to you,” she said very quietly, alert for eavesdroppers. “Be careful what you say. Don’t mention the king, nor the baby.”

I felt my courage evaporate. “Jane, I don’t know that she would want to see me, can you ask?”

Her hands were in the small of my back pushing me forward. “And don’t mention Calais,” she said. “Nor the burnings. Nor the cardinal.”

“Why not the cardinal?” I demanded, trying to wriggle away. “D’you mean Cardinal Pole?”

“He is sick,” she said. “And disgraced. He’s recalled to Rome. If he dies or if he goes to Rome for punishment, she will be utterly alone.”

“Jane, I can’t go in there and comfort her. There is nothing I can say to comfort her. She has lost everything.”

“There is nothing anyone can say,” she said brutally. “She is as low down as a woman can be driven, and yet she has to rise up. She is still queen. She has to rise up and rule this country, or Elizabeth will push her off the throne within a week. If she does not sit on her throne, Elizabeth will push her into her grave.”