"I'm surprised you're not as angry as Jesmind," he told her.

"I'm not as foolish as she is," Mist snorted. "Unlike her, I trust you, Tarrin. I know that when you get your memory back, you'll choose to be with us again. I have faith in you, because I know you, and I'm not going to let my jealousy rule me as it is with Jesmind."

"You know me that well?"

"Tarrin, anyone that knows you at all knows what you'll do if you get your memory back," she said confidently. "Some of them don't like it, because they want to see you stay human, but they know which path you'll take. That's why I'm not going crazy like Jesmind. That's why Kimmie isn't either. She's busy helping that crazy Wizard with that magic to restore your memory, and it's why she has the patience and concentration to be able to help him. She knows, just like I know. If Jesmind wasn't thinking with something other than her brain, she'd know too. And she'd know how silly she's being."

"I really don't know what I'm going to do, Mist," he admitted.

"You can't, not until you get your memory back," she told him calmly. "So what difference does any of this really make? Until they finish their magic, all any of us can do is wait." She looked at him. "And if you want to live a little like this, do some of those things humans do that you can't do anymore, have a little harmless fun, even do a little mattress hopping with wanton Sha'Kar, why should I care? It won't change things. When you get your memory back, who you were will be all you need to make your decision. I believe that with all my heart."

Tarrin was a little surprised by the vehemence in her voice and in her words. She really did believe what she was saying. She really thought that once he got his memory back, those memories would have him choose to be a Were-cat again no matter what happened to him as a human. He knew he couldn't make an honest, thorough decision until he got back his memory, but he was a little dismayed that those memories may take away his ability to choose. He remembered what that Goddess lady had said, that once he got his memory back he'd want to change back again. That he'd feel unnatural the way he was now. Was that really true? Would regaining his memory really make him not want to make a true choice between his old life and his new one?

That was an irrational thought, and he knew it. He couldn't decide which life was the better one until he could remember them both. If he'd choose to be a Were-cat with his former memory, didn't that mean that despite the strife and ordeals he had suffered, he had found true happiness in that life? Wouldn't that be enough of a reason to change back? After all, he had children and something approaching wives in that other life. Wouldn't returning to them make him very happy indeed?

Probably, but not until he really got Jesmind for her behavior. He was tempted to tell her he was staying human just to rub her nose in it a little bit. He still intended to keep an open mind about that future decision, but he did feel a little better about whichever choice he made. He could choose either of them and have a very good chance to be happy. Either as a Were-cat or as a human, he could continue on after that choice and probably have no regrets, because he knew he'd be happy with the choice he made. No matter which path he chose.

So, if he couldn't lose no matter which way he decided to go, why worry so much about it? He should approach it like Mist said, just enjoy the time he had as a human and leave the heavy thinking for later, when he had all he needed to make that decision.

"I'm glad someone told me that, Mist," he said with a grateful look, standing up. "I think I will go enjoy myself. And the first thing I'm going to do is go over there and play with my children."

"I think they'd be happy to have you. Just watch out, Eron likes to claw when things get rough."

"I'll keep that in mind," he said. "If you'll excuse me."

"Go right ahead," Mist said with a smile, stepping aside to let him pass. The two Were-cats sat down on the bench he and Auli had been occupying, and Tarrin did just what he said. He went over and played with his children. He did so for hours, playing games, chasing them, talking with them, and just spending quality time with them. He came to know Eron very well, and found him to be a rather hyper boy, but also possessed of a sharp mind and an almost unnatural awareness of things. He also had a good memory, allowing him to remember those tiny things that he noticed that others did not. Him and Jasana were very close, siblings by more than blood, and they complemented each other well. He was very proud to have such talented and capable children as them. Just as he had with Jasana, Tarrin formed an immediate bond with Eron, finding the kind of love that only a parent could have for a child in his heart. No matter what, Eron was his son, and he would love him. Be him human or Were-cat, with him or away from him, dead or alive, it was an eternal bond that could never be broken. Tarrin realized that Eron was much different from Jasana in that he didn't show Jasana's devotion to him. He was sure that Eron liked him, liked being with him, but it was more like he was a friend of the family than his father. Mist was all the family that Eron had ever known, perhaps that was why he acted like that. He knew that Were-cats were alot different from humans, and their children were also much different. Was Eron's behavior part of that? Tarrin suspected that it was. It didn't make Tarrin love him any less, though.

After the two children had thoroughly worn him out, he lay with them in the lush grass off one of the gravel paths, looking up at the few clouds that were drifting in the afternoon sky. A glance showed him that both Were-cat females and Sapphire were still sitting on the bench, and to his surprise, Sapphire was talking with them. Then again, why should it be a surprise? Sapphire was a dragon, a mighty and powerful creature, but she also liked to talk with people smart enough to keep up with her. He felt that both Mist and Jula qualified. Sapphire didn't stay very long after that, saying something to the two of them and flappping off. Sapphire obviously felt secure leaving Tarrin in their company, and he didn't really expect her to compeletely suspend her own life to shepard him aorund.

"That one looks like a bunny," Eron bubbled, pointing into the sky with his little clawed finger. Tarrin was truly surprised that Eron had managed to sit still for nearly ten minutes, as they looked up into the sky. Perhaps after all that running, even Eron needed to stop and rest a little bit.

"What are clouds made of, papa?" Jasana asked.

"Clouds are just fog way up in the sky," he told her.

"How do you know?" Eron asked.

"Your grandfather told me," he said. "He went to the Skydancer Mountains once, and he told me that the clouds are low enough that the peaks of the mountains are inside them. He climbed up one of them and found out that clouds are really just fog that doesn't burn off with the daytime sun."

"You mean if we were really far away, fog would look like a cloud?" Eron asked.

"I suppose it would," Tarrin agreed, impressed anew with his son's keen observational ability.

"Have you ever been to the mountains?" Eron asked.

"No. But there was this one time," he said distantly, staring up at the sky. "I, I remember… climbing up the side of a huge rock wall, so high that it climbed into the clouds." He blinked, and then winced as a shock of pain hammered in his head. That had to be another memory. This one came with images, a dark stone face, seeing black-furred hands, huge hands, digging into the stone with their claws…

His hands.

Tarrin held up his arm and looked at his hand, comparing them. That furry hand was almost three times bigger than this one. Truly huge, and tipped with claws nearly as long as his little fingers were. So, that was what his hands had looked like. They were definitely Were-cat, that was for sure.