One thing that did concern him a little was that Triana was still missing from the Tower. Nobody really knew where she went or what she was doing, but Jesmind wasn't very worried. She simply said she'd show up when she was ready, and that was that.

Tarrin's room was not as protected as he had once believed. Three days after the meeting, after he came back at night from a long visit with Jasana, he found her in his room. She was sitting on the bed sedately, and she wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. The only thing she was wearing was a seductive smile. Fortunately for him, the shock of seeing her there overwhelmed his very real desire to want to find her just like that some evening. Tarrin both wanted Auli and wanted to stay away from Auli, and he knew that he'd let her win as soon as she caught him in a position where she could overwhelm his decision to stay away from her. That, and the fact that she was on the other side of the room. He certainly enjoyed seeing her like that, but luckily for him, he wasn't close enough to let himself fall under her spell.

It had perhaps been too easy for him to back out of the room and flee from her, but this raise of the stakes in her little game upset him quite a bit. His room was one of the few things that he considered his and his alone in the Tower, representing what little identity he could manage to find with the loss of his memory, and he was sincerely angry with Auli for violating his private space. He made sure to let her know the next day, and for the first time ever, that slow smile of hers dropped into a chagrined frown when he snapped at her hotly for coming into his room without being invited. She seemed to realize that she had crossed a line that should not have been crossed, and her rather contrite apology actually convinced him that she wouldn't do it again.

She actually left him alone for a couple of days after that, and Tarrin took advantage of it by spending as much time of it as he could outside. He took Jasana with him, and with Jula following behind or accompanying him, they would run around the gardens exploring. The gardens were huge, and it took quite a while for someone to get to know his way around. They took up almost all the space behind the North Tower, almost all the way up to the fence, filled with almost every flower, plant, tree, and vine imaginable. Tarrin was carrying Jasana on his shoulders, feeling with a bit of eerie curiosity as her tail slid back and forth against his back, holding onto her furry little ankles. Jula was with them, walking alongside him. Tarrin felt strangely comfortable around Jula, but he could tell that she didn't seem to be as comfortable with him. He wasn't quite sure why, but he could tell that she was. She was always very quiet, almost stiffly polite, and had trouble looking him in the eye.

"Oooh, what kind of tree is that?" Jasana asked in excitement, point at a rather large tree swaying in a gentle wind. "It's pretty with those blue leaves!"

"That's a blueleaf tree," Tarrin told her. "They're common in the north. This is a little south for there to really be much of them. They like cold weather."

"I've never seen those before."

"You should have. There are lots of them around Aldreth."

"Well, I don't remember them."

"I guess that's a fair excuse," he chuckled, bouncing her a bit. "They certainly gave it a clever and descriptive name, didn't they?"

"What do you mean?"

"Nevermind," he chuckled.

"Papa, I've been meaning to ask you something."

"What?"

"What's it like to not rememeber?"

"Well, it's not something I can explain, Jasana," he answered. "Since I can't remember anything, there's really nothing I feel about it. Everything seems new and strange to me, just like it's my first time seeing it."

"How can you not remember? That doesn't seem to make sense."

"Don't you forget things?"

"Well, yeah, but nothing serious."

"Well, it's kind of like that, but I guess in my case, it was serious."

"Mama said that a magic spell did it to you."

"I guess it was. I really can't remember."

"She also said the silly human with the white hair is going to fix it."

"He's working on it," he affirmed.

"Mama said when you get your memory back, you'll be just like you were before. Does that mean you won't be a human anymore?"

That startled him a little bit. "I'm not sure yet, Jasana," he answered seriously. "I'm supposed to decide if I want to be a Were-cat again or not. I can't really do that until I get back my memory, so I guess we won't find that out until I get back my memory."

"That seems like a silly thing to say, papa," she chided. "You look funny like this, and you can't be with us if you're a human. Mama said so."

"I k now."

"Well, you promised you'd come back, and we'd be a family again, Papa. If you're not like us again, you'll be breaking your promise to me."

Tarrin was a little surprised by the vehemence in her voice. "If I do stay like this, I can still be your father, Jasana," he said in the mildest tone he could manage. "Can't I do everything that I could do before?"

"No," she said bluntly. "You can't kiss me goodnight, and you can't teach me how to hunt, and you can't teach me magic anymore, and you're not in Mama's room where you're supposed to be when I want to sleep with you."

"Well, I guess you have me there," he chuckled. "But I still love you, and I'll still be there when you need me. Wouldn't you still love me, even if I end up staying like this?"

"Well, yes, but it won't be the same."

"It wouldn't be the same for me either," he assured her. "But I think you're getting too far ahead of yourself, Jasana. It's going to be another three rides and more before they can give me back my memory. Since I can't decide until then, I think dwelling on it makes it hard for us to enjoy the time we have now. Don't you?"

"It bothers me, Papa."

"It bothers me too, but I don't want to spend the whole month worrying."

"I'm hungry," Jula cut in, obviously trying to distract the Were-cat child. "Do you want to go get something to eat, Jasana?"

"Umm," she sounded. Tarrin had learned that it meant yes for her.

Tarrin set Jasana down on the ground, and she held onto his hand for a long moment. "How did you bite Jula, Papa?" she asked curiously. "Mama never told me."

Tarrin gave her a strange look, but it was nothing compared to the strangled look that Jula gave the Were-cat girl. "Don't you remember, Jasana? I lost my memory."

"Oh," she frowned. "How did it happen, Jula?" she asked.

"Tarrin didn't bite me," she said shortly. "I did this to myself."

"How can you bite yourself?"

"It's hard to explain, cub," she told her. "And I don't think it's something that a little girl should hear."

Jasana pursed her lips, but said nothing more.

They had told Tarrin about that, that Jula had used his blood to turn herself after he had mortally wounded her and left her to die. It was a testament to both how nasty he'd become at that time and how far Jula would go to stay alive. But from what he'd been told, Tarrin had more or less forgiven Jula for everything she did to him, had even accepted her as an adopted daughter, which was why she remained with Jesmind and Jasana.

They met Jesmind in the kitchens, and as usual over the last few days, Tarrin greeted her with guarded manners. He was grateful that she was keeping Auli at bay, but the truth of the matter was that he still wasn't very happy with her for her following him around. She was still doing it. The only reason he knew that she was was because Jasana had a big mouth. He hadn't seen her, and she wasn't showing herself to warn off Auli. He guessed she decided not to intervene unless things got serious. Jesmind gave him that same look she always did, a look of concern, pity, irritation, and anger as she picked up Jasana. "It's time for her lesson," she announced curtly. "I hope you don't mind."